162 Classic Punny One-Liners: The “You” & Twttr Edition (2006)

The 2006 Top 10: Person of the Year Classics

1. The Person of the Year: I told my mom I was Time’s Person of the Year. She said, “It’s about time you achieved something.”
2. The Pluto: Pluto is no longer a planet? That’s just “un-earthly” behavior.
3. The Twitter: I just sent my first tweet. I’m finally “flapping” my wings in the social circle.
4. The Nintendo Wii: I played tennis in my living room today. It was a “swinging” success, except for the TV screen.
5. The Cars: I watched a movie about talking vehicles. It was “tire-less” entertainment.
6. The Da Vinci Code: I tried to solve a riddle in a museum. I’m just “sketching” out a plan.
7. The High School Musical: I’m “all in this together” with these puns, but my singing is “off-key.”
8. The MacBook: Apple released a new laptop. It’s a “bright” idea for a “Mac-nificent” year.
9. The Borat: I went to America to make a movie. It was “very nice” but a bit “suit”-y.
10. The Rocky Balboa: Rocky came back for one last fight. He’s still “punching” above his weight.

The Full 2006 Archive (The “140 Characters” List)

11. The Battery: I’m feeling “charged” by my new Person of the Year title.
12. The Magnet: I’m “attracted” to the new motion-control gaming.
13. The Mirror: I’m “reflecting” on why Pluto got kicked out.
14. The Camera: I’m “focusing” on my new digital vlog.
15. The MP3: I’m “syncing” my life to a new beat.
16. The Firewall: I’m “blocking” the haters on my new feed.
17. The Virus: I’m “infecting” the world with 140-character jokes.
18. The Laptop: I’m “portable” and “Mac-bookish.”
19. The Screen: I’m “displaying” my status for all to see.
20. The Mouse: I’m “clicking” with the new web 2.0.
21. The Keyboard: I’m “typing” my way into history.
22. The Printer: I’m “inking” about my next big post.
23. The Scanner: I’m “beaming” my data across the room.
24. The Modem: I’m “connecting” at the speed of light (almost).
25. The Router: I’m “routing” for the under-planet Pluto.
26. The Website: I’m “weaving” a social web of followers.
27. The Link: I’m “sharing” my way to the top.
28. The Cursor: I’m “pointing” out the obvious trends.
29. The Password: I’m “masking” my password as ‘password123’.
30. The Folder: I’m “organizing” my digital footprints.
31. The File: I’m “storing” my best tweets for later.
32. The Desktop: I’m “surface” deep in the internet.
33. The Wallpaper: I’m “hanging” around the digital office.
34. The Icon: I’m a “symbol” of the 2006 generation.
35. The Trash Can: I’m “recycling” my jokes for a new audience.
36. The Window: I’m “browsing” through the new trends.
37. The Menu: I’m “selecting” my top followers.
38. The Scroll: I’m “rolling” through the timeline.
39. The Save: I’m “keeping” my dignity while dancing on the Wii.
40. The Load: I’m “buffering” my social life.
41. The Font: I’m just your “bold” type of leader.
42. The Space: I “need” more space in my 140 characters.
43. The Shift: I’m “changing” the way we communicate.
44. The Control: I’m “alt-ering” my online persona.
45. The Escape: I’m “fleeing” from the spoiler threads.
46. The Home: I’m “landing” on the trending page.
47. The Tab: I’m “switching” between my blog and my feed.
48. The Delete: I’m “erasing” my old embarrassing statuses.
49. The Number: I’m “counting” my followers—all three of them.
50. The Bread: I’m “rising” to the top of the feed.
51. The Butter: I’m “spreading” the viral news.
52. The Egg: I’m “cracking” up at my own tweets.
53. The Cheese: I’m “grating” on everyone’s nerves today.
54. The Milk: I’m “milking” my Person of the Year status.
55. The Coffee: I’m “brewing” a new thread.
56. The Tea: I’m “spilling” the secrets on the forum.
57. The Sugar: I’m “coating” my criticism in puns.
58. The Salt: I’m “shaking” off the digital dust.
59. The Honey: I’m “stuck” on this new video site.
60. The Jam: I’m “jamming” out to my new playlist.
61. The Toast: I’m the “talk” of the internet.
62. The Juice: I’m “concentrating” on my followers.
63. The Water: I’m “streaming” music while I work.
64. The Soda: I’m “fizzing” with 2006 energy.
65. The Apple: I’m “taking” a bite out of the new MacBook.
66. The Banana: I’m “peeling” great about the future.
67. The Orange: I’m “glad” I’m not Pluto.
68. The Grape: I’m “whining” about the character limit.
69. The Melon: I’m “one” in a million users.
70. The Peach: I’m “just” feeling fuzzy.
71. The Pear: We’re a “fruitful” pair of bloggers.
72. The Plum: I’ve got a “juicy” bit of gossip.
73. The Cherry: I’m the “pick” of the timeline.
74. The Lemon: I’m “squeezing” into the digital age.
75. The Lime: I’m in the “limelight” (literally, I’m the Person of the Year).
76. The Berry: I’m “berry” excited about the Wii.
77. The Nut: I’m “cracking” the code of social media.
78. The Bean: I’ve “been” there, done that, tweeted it.
79. The Corn: This pun is “shucking” ridiculous.
80. The Potato: I’m a “couch” potato playing virtual sports.
81. The Tomato: I’m “ketching” up with old friends on Facebook.
82. The Carrot: I’m “rooting” for the underdog.
83. The Onion: I’m “peeling” back the layers of the code.
84. The Garlic: I’m “breath-taking” in my profile pic.
85. The Mushroom: I’m a “fun-gi” to follow.
86. The Tree: I’m “branching” out into micro-blogging.
87. The Leaf: I’m “turning” over a new digital leaf.
88. The Flower: I’m “blooming” in the spotlight.
89. The Bee: I’m “buzzing” about the new iPhone rumors.
90. The Ant: I’m “working” on my digital footprint.
91. The Spider: I’m “weaving” a web of followers.
92. The Fish: I’m “hooked” on the new trends.
93. The Bird: I’m “tweeting” my heart out.
94. The Cat: I’m “purr-fectly” online.
95. The Dog: I’m “barking” up the right server.
96. The Horse: I’m “stable” enough for a viral post.
97. The Cow: I’m “moo-ving” to the new platforms.
98. The Pig: I’m “hogging” the bandwidth.
99. The Sheep: I’m “following” the trends.
100. The Duck: I’m “quacking” up at the memes.
101. The Bear: I can’t “bear” to wait for the next console.
102. The Lion: I’m “pride-ful” of my digital presence.
103. The Tiger: I’m “earning” my stripes on the web.
104. The Elephant: I’ll “never” forget my first tweet.
105. The Monkey: I’m “swinging” by the comment section.
106. The Snake: I’m “hiss-terical” when the Wi-Fi drops.
107. The Turtle: I’m “slowly” gaining followers.
108. The Frog: I’m “leaping” into the blogosphere.
109. The Sun: I’m “shining” on the LCD screen.
110. The Moon: I’m “phasing” out my old hobbies.
111. The Star: I’m “twinkling” in the digital sky.
112. The Cloud: I’m “feeling” a bit hazy on the details.
113. The Rain: I’m “pouring” my thoughts into 140 characters.
114. The Snow: I’m “chilled” out with my new gadgets.
115. The Wind: I’m “blown” away by the new tech.
116. The Fire: I’m “on fire” with my updates.
117. The Water: I’m “treading” the digital waves.
118. The Earth: I’m “grounded” in reality (mostly).
119. The Air: I’m “broadcasting” my life.
120. The Metal: I’m “hardened” by the forum debates.
121. The Wood: I’m “pining” for a vacation.
122. The Glass: I’m “transparent” about my feelings.
123. The Plastic: I’m “flexible” with my schedule.
124. The Paper: I’m “writing” the new rules.
125. The Stone: I’m “rocking” the 2006 look.
126. The Sand: I’m “shore” about my top eight.
127. The Dust: I’m “settling” into a rhythm.
128. The Smoke: I’m “vanishing” from the chat.
129. The Mirror: I’m “seeing” double after a gaming marathon.
130. The Shadow: I’m “lurking” in the background.
131. The Echo: I’m “repeating” the trending tags.
132. The Silence: I’m “muted” in the group chat.
133. The Light: I’m “brightening” up your feed.
134. The Dark: I’m “dimming” the screen to save power.
135. The Sound: I’m “vibrating” with excitement.
136. The Peace: I’m “soaring” through the project.
137. The Clock: I’m “ticking” off the minutes until the weekend.
138. The Calendar: I’m “dating” my progress.
139. The Compass: I’m “oriented” for success.
140. The Map: I’m “unfolding” the future.
141. The Glove: I’m “fitting” into the digital age.
142. The Shoe: I’m “sole-ful” about my tech.
143. The Sock: I’m “toasty” in my room.
144. The Hat: I’m “capped” at my maximum character limit.
145. The Belt: I’m “tightening” my security settings.
146. The Scarf: I’m “wrapped” up in a new hobby.
147. The Jacket: I’m “zipping” through my tasks.
148. The Pocket: I’m “holding” all the secrets.
149. The Thread: I’m “starting” a new conversation.
150. The Needle: I’m “pinning” my favorite post.
151. The Thimble: I’m “protecting” my privacy.
152. The Patch: I’m “fixing” the bugs.
153. The Fabric: I’m “weaving” a story.
154. The Wool: I’m “pulling” it over your eyes.
155. The Cotton: I’m “soft” on the details.
156. The Silk: I’m “smooth” in my delivery.
157. The Velvet: I’m “feeling” luxurious.
158. The Denim: I’m “wearing” out these puns.
159. The Leather: I’m “tough” enough for the web.
160. The Canvas: I’m “painting” a picture.
161. The Lace: I’m “tie-ing” it all together.
162. The End: I’m “done”—see you in 2007!