112 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Euro-Spider Edition (2002)

The 2002 Top 10: Heroic Classics

1. The Spider-Man: I tried to make a web-site like Spider-Man, but I kept getting caught in the “net.”
2. The Euro: I’m finally using Euro coins. It makes “cents” to me now.
3. The American Idol: I told my dog he’s the next American Idol. He’s got a great “bark” but no “bite.”
4. The Nickelback: I found a nickel on the ground. I’m giving this “Nickelback.”
5. The Star Wars (Episode II): I’m a fan of Anakin Skywalker, but I find his jokes a bit “sandy.”
6. The GameCube: I bought a Nintendo GameCube. It’s the “hip” way to be square.
7. The Kelly Clarkson: I’m a big fan of Kelly Clarkson. A “moment like this” only comes once a pun.
8. The Harry Potter (Chamber of Secrets): I tried to open the Chamber of Secrets, but I lost my “key”-ryphus.
9. The Bourne Identity: I forgot who I was today. I guess I’m having a “Bourne” identity crisis.
10. The Nelly: It’s getting “hot in herre,” so I’m taking off all my… heavy winter coats.

The Full 2002 Archive (The “New Currency” List)

11. The Battery: I’m feeling positive about this new currency.
12. The Magnet: I’m naturally attracted to the Euro zone.
13. The Mirror: I’m reflecting on my old bank notes.
14. The Camera: I’m focusing on the big picture this year.
15. The MP3 Player: I’m a music fan. I’m just “digital-ly” frustrated.
16. The Firewall: I’m a guard. I’m just “burning” for protection.
17. The Virus: I’m a hacker. I’m just “infectiously” clever.
18. The Laptop: I’m a worker. I’m just “folding” under pressure.
19. The Screen: I’m a monitor. I’m just “displaying” my emotions.
20. The Mouse: I’m a pointer. I’m just “clicking” into gear.
21. The Keyboard: I’m a pianist. I’m just looking for “space.”
22. The Printer: I’m an author. I’m just “out of character.”
23. The Scanner: I’m a visionary. I see right through your “puns.”
24. The Modem: I’m a talker. I’m just “connecting” the dots.
25. The Router: I’m a traveler. I’m just “routing” for the home team.
26. The Website: I’m a spider. I’m just “spinning” a yarn.
27. The Link: I’m a golfer. I’m just “chaining” my shots.
28. The Cursor: I’m a leader. I’m just “pointing” at the obvious.
29. The Password: I’m a secret. I’m just “masked.”
30. The Folder: I’m a detective. I’m just “opening” up.
31. The File: I’m a carpenter. I’m just “shaping” the future.
32. The Desktop: I’m a writer. I’m just “surface” level.
33. The Wallpaper: I’m a decorator. I’m just “background” noise.
34. The Icon: I’m a star. I’m just “pixel-ated.”
35. The Trash Can: I’m a cleaner. I’m just “waisting” time.
36. The Window: I’m a dreamer. I’m just “pane-fully” funny.
37. The Menu: I’m a waiter. I’m just “ordering” chaos.
38. The Scroll: I’m a historian. I’m just “rolling” with it.
39. The Save: I’m a goalie. I’m just “holding” onto the past.
40. The Load: I’m a worker. I’m just “buffering” my feelings.
41. The Font: I’m a designer. I’m just “italic-izing” my life.
42. The Bold: I’m a soldier. I’m just “standing out.”
43. The Italic: I’m a leaning tower. I’m just “slanted” towards fun.
44. The Underline: I’m a lawyer. I’m just “stressing” the point.
45. The Space: I’m an astronaut. I just need “room” to breathe.
46. The Shift: I’m a driver. I’m just “moving” on.
47. The Control: I’m a boss. I’m just “alt-ering” my plans.
48. The Escape: I’m a magician. I’m just “vanishing.”
49. The Home: I’m a gardener. I’m just “planting” ideas.
50. The End: I’m a finisher. I’m just “concluding.”
51. The Page: I’m a servant. I’m just “turning” up the heat.
52. The Tab: I’m a drinker. I’m just “bottling” it up.
53. The Caps Lock: I’M A SHOUTER. I’M JUST “BIG-HEADED.”
54. The Delete: I’m an editor. I’m just “erasing” the evidence.
55. The Insert: I’m a surgeon. I’m just “operating” on a pun.
56. The Number: I’m a baker. I’m just “counting” the rolls.
57. The Plus: I’m an optimist. I’m just “adding” to the fun.
58. The Minus: I’m a pessimist. I’m just “taking” a break.
59. The Equal: I’m a judge. I’m just “balancing.”
60. The Question: I’m a seeker. I’m just “asking” for trouble.
61. The Period: I’m a writer. I’m just “stopping” mid-sentence.
62. The Comma: I’m a jogger. I’m just “pausing.”
63. The Colon: I’m a doctor. I’m just “digesting” the joke.
64. The Slash: I’m a rocker. I’m just “cutting” loose.
65. The Star: I’m a dreamer. I’m just “beaming.”
66. The Cloud: I’m a pilot. I’m just “foggy.”
67. The Rain: I’m a cloud. I’m just “mist-erious.”
68. The Snow: I’m a skier. I’m just “chilled.”
69. The Wind: I’m a fan. I’m just “blown” away.
70. The Fire: I’m a match. I’m just “sparkling.”
71. The Water: I’m a fish. I’m just “glub-bing.”
72. The Earth: I’m a worm. I’m just “down” with it.
73. The Air: I’m a bird. I’m just “flighty.”
74. The Metal: I’m a smith. I’m just “hard-core.”
75. The Wood: I’m a carpenter. I’m just “pining.”
76. The Glass: I’m a window. I’m just “clear.”
77. The Plastic: I’m a credit card. I’m just “swiping.”
78. The Paper: I’m a note. I’m just “flat-out” funny.
79. The Stone: I’m a mason. I’m just “rocking” out.
80. The Sand: I’m a beach. I’m just “sandy” claws.
81. The Dust: I’m a cleaner. I’m just “settling” a bet.
82. The Smoke: I’m a signal. I’m just “hazy.”
83. The Mirror: I’m a reflection. I’m just “like” you.
84. The Shadow: I’m a ghost. I’m just “following.”
85. The Echo: I’m a canyon. I’m just “repeating.”
86. The Silence: I’m a secret. I’m just “hush-hush.”
87. The Light: I’m a bulb. I’m just “glowing.”
88. The Dark: I’m a shadow. I’m just “dim.”
89. The Sound: I’m a speaker. I’m just “vibrating.”
90. The Peace: I’m a dove. I’m just “soaring.”
91. The Clock: I’m a watch. I’m just “timely.”
92. The Calendar: I’m a planner. I’m just “dating” my puns.
93. The Compass: I’m a scout. I’m just “lost” without you.
94. The Map: I’m a traveler. I’m just “un-folding.”
95. The Glove: I’m a hand. I’m just “fitting” in.
96. The Shoe: I’m a foot. I’m just “sole-ful.”
97. The Sock: I’m a heel. I’m just “toasty.”
98. The Hat: I’m a head. I’m just “brimming” with joy.
99. The Belt: I’m a waist. I’m just “cinching” it.
100. The Scarf: I’m a neck. I’m just “knotted.”
101. The Jacket: I’m a torso. I’m just “zipping” it.
102. The Button: I’m a shirt. I’m just “fastening” my seatbelt.
103. The Zipper: I’m a bag. I’m just “teeth-ing.”
104. The Pocket: I’m a pant. I’m just “holding” on.
105. The Thread: I’m a needle. I’m just “sewing” the seeds.
106. The Needle: I’m a pine. I’m just “prickly.”
107. The Thimble: I’m a thumb. I’m just “protecting” myself.
108. The Patch: I’m a quilt. I’m just “together.”
109. The Fabric: I’m a loom. I’m just “weaving.”
110. The Wool: I’m a sheep. I’m just “baaa-d.”
111. The Cotton: I’m a plant. I’m just “soft.”
112. The End: I’m a comedian. I’m just “pun-ishingly” good!