117 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Fidget Spinner & Switch Edition (2017)

The 2017 Top 10: Spinning & Switching Classics

1. The Fidget Spinner: I bought a fidget spinner to help me focus, but now my life is just “revolving” around it. I guess I’m just “taking it for a spin.”
2. The Nintendo Switch: I bought the new Nintendo console. It was a “switch”-ing experience to play Zelda on the toilet.
3. The Despacito: I tried to sing “Despacito” in the shower, but I only knew three words. I guess I’m just “slowly” learning the lyrics.
4. The It (Pennywise): I saw a clown in a sewer today. It was a “drain”-ing experience, but he really “floated” my boat.
5. The Bitcoin: I invested in Bitcoin at 19k. My wallet is now a “crypt”-o-currency—because it’s dead inside.
6. The Wonder Woman: Diana Prince is a great hero. She’s “lasso”-ing all the attention this year.
7. The Salt Bae: I put salt on my steak with a dramatic flourish. I’m just “seasoning” my life with a little “pinch” of sass.
8. The Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2: Baby Groot is adorable. He’s really “branching” out in this sequel.
9. The iPhone X: I bought the phone with face ID. Now my phone is the only thing that “looks” at me with interest.
10. The La La Land (Oscars): I won the Oscar for best picture! Oh wait, “Moonlight” actually won. That was a “stage”-managed disaster.

The Full 2017 Archive (The “Hybrid Era” List)

11. The Battery: I’m “positive” my Switch won’t last the flight.
12. The Magnet: I’m “drawn” to the Joy-Con colors.
13. The Mirror: I’m “reflecting” on why I spent $20 on a spinner.
14. The Camera: I’m “focusing” on my face ID setup.
15. The Virus: I’m “infecting” the web with “Despacito” memes.
16. The Laptop: I’m “folding” under the pressure of the blockchain.
17. The Screen: I’m “displaying” my digital portfolio.
18. The Mouse: I’m “clicking” with the new handheld trends.
19. The Keyboard: I’m “typing” my way to a moon-landing (in crypto).
20. The Printer: I’m “inking” a deal for a new fidget toy.
21. The Scanner: I’m “beaming” with joy over the Zelda reviews.
22. The Website: I’m “weaving” a network of social followers.
23. The Link: I’m “sharing” my friend code.
24. The Cursor: I’m “pointing” at the screen in handheld mode.
25. The Password: I’m “locking” my crypto-vault.
26. The Folder: I’m “organizing” my digital assets.
27. The File: I’m “storing” my high scores.
28. The Desktop: I’m “surface” deep in the lore of Breath of the Wild.
29. The Wallpaper: I’m “hanging” a picture of a red balloon.
30. The Icon: I’m a “symbol” of the hybrid generation.
31. The Trash Can: I’m “recycling” puns about salt.
32. The Window: I’m “browsing” for a cheaper GPU.
33. The Menu: I’m “selecting” my favorite fighter.
34. The Scroll: I’m “rolling” through the crypto-charts.
35. The Save: I’m “keeping” my coins in cold storage.
36. The Load: I’m “buffering” my social skills for a real rooftop party.
37. The Font: I’m just your “bold” type of trader.
38. The Space: I “need” more space for my game downloads.
39. The Shift: I’m “changing” my mind about the bezel-less screen.
40. The Control: I’m “alt-ering” my reality with AR.
41. The Escape: I’m “fleeing” from the spoilers of the new Star Wars.
42. The Home: I’m “pressing” the home button—wait, it’s gone!
43. The Tab: I’m “keeping” a tab on the price of Ethereum.
44. The Delete: I’m “erasing” my search history for “how to spin faster.”
45. The Number: I’m “counting” my gains (and losses).
46. The Bread: I’m “rising” with the market.
47. The Butter: I’m “spreading” the viral content.
48. The Egg: I’m “cracking” the code of the loot box.
49. The Cheese: I’m “grating” on your nerves with my “Despacito” ringtone.
50. The Milk: I’m “milking” the fidget spinner trend.
51. The Coffee: I’m “brewing” some serious trading strategies.
52. The Tea: I’m “spilling” the tea on the new iPhone specs.
53. The Sugar: I’m “coating” my panic in humor.
54. The Salt: I’m “shaking” things up like Salt Bae.
55. The Honey: I’m “stuck” on a difficult level.
56. The Jam: I’m “jamming” to the top hits of 2017.
57. The Toast: I’m the “talk” of the subreddit.
58. The Juice: I’m “concentrating” on the perfect spin.
59. The Water: I’m “streaming” 4K video on my phone.
60. The Soda: I’m “fizzing” with 2017 energy.
61. The Apple: I’m “taking” a bite out of the anniversary model.
62. The Banana: I’m “peeling” great about my crypto-wallet.
63. The Orange: I’m “glad” I finally got a Switch.
64. The Grape: I’m “whining” about the GPU shortages.
65. The Melon: I’m “one” in a million traders.
66. The Peach: I’m “just” feeling fuzzy about the 90s nostalgia.
67. The Pear: We’re a “fruitful” pair of gamers.
68. The Plum: I’ve got a “juicy” tip on an Alt-coin.
69. The Cherry: I’m the “top” of the leaderboard (for five seconds).
70. The Lemon: I hope my new console isn’t a “lemon.”
71. The Lime: I’m in the “limelight” with my gold spinner.
72. The Berry: I’m “berry” much into this new update.
73. The Nut: I’m “cracking” the crypto-code.
74. The Bean: I’ve “been” here since the first tweet.
75. The Corn: This pun is “shucking” high-definition.
76. The Potato: I’m no longer a “couch” potato—I play on the bus.
77. The Tomato: I’m “ketching” up with the latest trends.
78. The Carrot: I’m “rooting” for the underdog.
79. The Onion: I’m “peeling” back the layers of the OS.
80. The Garlic: I’m “breath-taking” in my face-ID scan.
81. The Mushroom: I’m a “fun-gi” to have in the group chat.
82. The Tree: I’m “branching” out into handheld gaming.
83. The Leaf: I’m “turning” over a new digital leaf.
84. The Flower: I’m “blooming” in the spotlight.
85. The Bee: I’m “buzzing” with every notification.
86. The Ant: I’m “working” on my digital footprint.
87. The Spider: I’m “weaving” a web of social connections.
88. The Fish: I’m “hooked” on the new feed.
89. The Bird: I’m “tweeting” about the spinning craze.
90. The Cat: I’m “purr-fectly” mobile now.
91. The Dog: I’m “barking” up the right cellular tower.
92. The Horse: I’m “stable” for the next update.
93. The Cow: I’m “moo-ving” to a better data plan.
94. The Pig: I’m “hogging” the charger.
95. The Sheep: I’m “following” the top influencers.
96. The Duck: I’m “quacking” up at the fail videos.
97. The Bear: I can’t “bear” to wait for the sequel.
98. The Lion: I’m “pride-ful” of my high scores.
99. The Tiger: I’m “earning” my stripes as a pro gamer.
100. The Elephant: I’ll “never” forget 2017.
101. The Monkey: I’m “swinging” by the shop for a new case.
102. The Snake: I’m “hiss-terical” when I lose my streak.
103. The Turtle: I’m “slowly” gaining more followers.
104. The Frog: I’m “leaping” into the next era.
105. The Sun: I’m “shining” on the matte screen.
106. The Moon: I’m “phasing” out my old gadgets.
107. The Star: I’m “twinkling” in the digital sky.
108. The Cloud: I’m “storing” my life in the clouds.
109. The Rain: I’m “pouring” my thoughts into a caption.
110. The Snow: I’m “chilled” out with my new gadgets.
111. The Wind: I’m “blown” away by the 2017 energy.
112. The Fire: I’m “on fire” with my updates.
113. The Water: I’m “treading” the digital waves.
114. The Earth: I’m “grounded” in reality (mostly).
115. The Metal: I’m “hardened” by the forum debates.
116. The Wood: I’m “pining” for a vacation.
117. The End: I’m “tapping” out—catch you in 2018!