101 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Odyssey Edition (2001)

The 2001 Top 10: Pocket-Sized Classics

1. The iPod: I put my favorite puns on my new iPod. Now I have a “shuffle” in my step.
2. The Shrek: I tried to tell Shrek a joke, but he told me to “ogre-act” somewhere else.
3. The Lord of the Rings: I’m reading a book about Hobbits. It’s a “precious” little story.
4. The Harry Potter: Why did Harry Potter go to the hardware store? He was looking for some “cauldron” cleaner.
5. The Wikipedia: I just read the entire Wikipedia entry on “puns.” It was a “site” to behold.
6. The Monsters Inc.: Working with Mike and Sulley is great, but the benefits are “monstrous.”
7. The Britney (Slave 4 U): I’m a slave for these puns. I just can’t “hiss” the opportunity.
8. The Xbox: I bought the new Microsoft console. It’s “box”-ing me in.
9. The Ocean’s Eleven: I tried to rob a casino with ten friends. We were “Ocean’s” apart on the plan.
10. The Fast and the Furious: I’m driving my car very quickly. I’m just “furious” I missed the exit.

The Full 2001 Archive (The “Digital Frontier” List)

11. The Battery: I’m staying positive despite the digital noise.
12. The Magnet: I find the new tech very attractive.
13. The Mirror: I’m just reflecting on how far we’ve come.
14. The Camera: I’m focusing on a digital future.
15. The MP3: I’m a music lover. I’m just “encoded” this way.
16. The Firewall: I’m a gatekeeper. I’m just “burning” for security.
17. The Virus: I’m a hacker. I’m just “infectiously” funny.
18. The Laptop: I’m a nomad. I’ve got a “lap” of luxury.
19. The Screen: I’m a monitor. I’m just “displaying” my talent.
20. The Mouse: I’m a gamer. I’m just “clicking” with the team.
21. The Keyboard: I’m a typist. I’m just looking for “control.”
22. The Printer: I’m an artist. I’m just “ink-redible.”
23. The Scanner: I’m a radiologist. I’m just “beaming.”
24. The Modem: I’m a talker. I’m just “dialing” it up.
25. The Router: I’m a guide. I’m just “signaling” for help.
26. The Website: I’m a spider. I’m just “web-designing.”
27. The Link: I’m a golfer. I’m just “hyper-linking” my shots.
28. The Cursor: I’m a leader. I’m just “pointing” the way.
29. The Password: I’m a secret. I’m just “encrypted.”
30. The Folder: I’m a detective. I’m just “closing” the case.
31. The File: I’m a carpenter. I’m just “smoothing” the edges.
32. The Desktop: I’m a writer. I’m just “stationery.”
33. The Wallpaper: I’m a painter. I’m just “hanging” around.
34. The Icon: I’m a star. I’m just a “pixel” of my former self.
35. The Trash Can: I’m a janitor. I’m just “recycling” old jokes.
36. The Window: I’m a dreamer. I’m just “pane-less.”
37. The Menu: I’m a chef. I’m just “serving” up puns.
38. The Scroll: I’m an actor. I’m just “rolling” the credits.
39. The Save: I’m a hero. I’m just “keeping” the peace.
40. The Load: I’m a laborer. I’m just “buffering.”
41. The Font: I’m a designer. I’m just “Times New Roman-tic.”
42. The Bold: I’m a knight. I’m just “brave” enough to pun.
43. The Italic: I’m a traveler. I’m just “slanted” towards Europe.
44. The Underline: I’m a lawyer. I’m just “emphasizing” the truth.
45. The Space: I’m a pilot. I just need some “atmosphere.”
46. The Shift: I’m a driver. I’m just “changing” gears.
47. The Control: I’m a boss. I’m just “managing” expectations.
48. The Escape: I’m a prisoner. I’m just “breaking” out of the mold.
49. The Home: I’m a gardener. I’m just “rooting” for you.
50. The End: I’m a finisher. I’m just “terminating.”
51. The Page: I’m a butler. I’m just “turning” up.
52. The Tab: I’m a drinker. I’m just “keeping” a record.
53. The Caps Lock: I’M A REBEL. I’M JUST “LOUD.”
54. The Delete: I’m a magician. I’m just “vanishing.”
55. The Insert: I’m a surgeon. I’m just “operating.”
56. The Number: I’m a baker. I’m just “kneading” more.
57. The Plus: I’m an optimist. I’m just “positive.”
58. The Minus: I’m a pessimist. I’m just “negative.”
59. The Equal: I’m a judge. I’m just “fair.”
60. The Question: I’m a seeker. I’m just “asking” for it.
61. The Period: I’m a writer. I’m just “done.”
62. The Comma: I’m a jogger. I’m just “pausing” for breath.
63. The Colon: I’m a doctor. I’m just “checking” in.
64. The Slash: I’m a rocker. I’m just “shredding.”
65. The Star: I’m a gazer. I’m just “beaming.”
66. The Cloud: I’m a dreamer. I’m just “floating.”
67. The Rain: I’m a weather-man. I’m just “mist-ified.”
68. The Snow: I’m a skier. I’m just “cold-hearted.”
69. The Wind: I’m a sail. I’m just “breezy.”
70. The Fire: I’m a stoker. I’m just “blazing.”
71. The Water: I’m a diver. I’m just “deep.”
72. The Earth: I’m a farmer. I’m just “soiled.”
73. The Air: I’m a pilot. I’m just “flighty.”
74. The Metal: I’m a smith. I’m just “forging” ahead.
75. The Wood: I’m a carpenter. I’m just “grainy.”
76. The Glass: I’m a window. I’m just “shattered.”
77. The Plastic: I’m a doll. I’m just “molded.”
78. The Paper: I’m a note. I’m just “folded.”
79. The Stone: I’m a mason. I’m just “hardened.”
80. The Sand: I’m a beach. I’m just “gritty.”
81. The Dust: I’m a cleaner. I’m just “sweeping.”
82. The Smoke: I’m a signal. I’m just “hazy.”
83. The Mirror: I’m a pond. I’m just “reflective.”
84. The Shadow: I’m a ghost. I’m just “lurking.”
85. The Echo: I’m a canyon. I’m just “vocal.”
86. The Silence: I’m a secret. I’m just “quiet.”
87. The Light: I’m a bulb. I’m just “illuminated.”
88. The Dark: I’m a shadow. I’m just “dim-witted.”
89. The Sound: I’m a speaker. I’m just “loud.”
90. The Peace: I’m a dove. I’m just “soaring.”
91. The Clock: I’m a watch. I’m just “ticking.”
92. The Calendar: I’m a planner. I’m just “dating.”
93. The Compass: I’m a scout. I’m just “oriented.”
94. The Map: I’m a traveler. I’m just “lost.”
95. The Glove: I’m a boxer. I’m just “fitting.”
96. The Shoe: I’m a runner. I’m just “sole-ful.”
97. The Sock: I’m a foot. I’m just “toasty.”
98. The Hat: I’m a head. I’m just “capped.”
99. The Belt: I’m a waist. I’m just “tight.”
100. The Scarf: I’m a neck. I’m just “wrapped.”
101. The End: I’m a punner. I’m just “infinite!”