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Home » The Religious Joke Archive: 1995–2025 » 2018 Archive: The Smartwatch Pulpit Hijack

2018 Archive: The Smartwatch Pulpit Hijack

Watching the assistant pastor attempt to read his Sunday homily off a sleek new smartwatch, only for his wrist to flash brightly and vibrate continuously with push notifications from a sports app throughout the sermon.

Part of the 39 Religious Jokes: The 2018 “Smart Assistant Confessions, FaceID Pews & Blockchain Building Funds” Edition archive. Historically Verified

🔥 Top 10: The Religious Joke Archive: 1995–2025

37 Religious Jokes: The 1996 “Floppy Disks, Dial-Up Tones & Fellowship Halls” Edition
In 1996, church life was undergoing a slow, digital awakening whi...read more »
2024 Vintage: The Hybrid Zoom Audio Feedback
The building maintenance committee meeting held in a hybrid forma...read more »
2025 Classic: The Puffy Jacket Pew Wedge
A teenager wearing an oversized, swishing nylon winter jacket get...read more »
2024 Classic: The Velvet Pouch Discretion
The traditional deep velvet collection bags sitting unused in the...read more »
2024 Classic: The Instant Decaf Cauldron
The senior ladies of the altar guild meeting on a video call, eac...read more »
2025 Classic: The Matching Shirt Directory
A family trying to take their own photo for the new online parish...read more »
2024 Archive: The High-Top Valve Click
A young usher passing the collection plate generating a faint, rh...read more »
2025 Legacy: The 4K Wireless Casting Nightmare
The Sunday School teacher spending half the class trying to wirel...read more »
2025 Classic: The Smart Thermostat App War
The head of the trustee board tracking the chapel heating bill fr...read more »
2025 Archive: The Cordless Lapel Intercept
A profound moment of silent adoration in the sanctuary being comp...read more »

😜 More from category: The Religious Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2024 Classic: The Liquid White-Out Restoration
The official parish marriage banns registry containing thick, bum...read more »
2025 Vintage: The Movie Ticket Bookmark
Opening a heavy liturgical book to verify a reading and finding a...read more »
2024 Vintage: The Cassette Tape Hiss Symphony
An elderly homebound parishioner refusing to watch the internet l...read more »

⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet

@Encarta_User12/11/2006 16:42I found this funnier than the animations in my encyclopedia.
@Myspace_Tom06/06/2007 09:54I’m your first friend and I approve this joke!
@XFiles_Spooky_M02/10/2002 09:45Trust no one... except the guy who wrote this.
@Iron_Man_Tony02/07/2013 07:26I am Iron Man... and I am laughing.
@Antivirus_Pro05/07/2007 23:49No viruses here, just good vibes.
@Tony_Hawk_Pro11/18/1998 08:06Just landed a 900 while reading this!
@Goonies_Never_D09/15/2013 11:32Goonies never say die! And they never stop laughing.
@Mocking_Sponge08/16/2013 09:35mOcKiNg SpOnGeBoB sAyS tHiS iS fUnNy.
@Netscape_Now_B12/27/1997 00:51I clicked the button and it brought me here!

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