Why does she have two Oscars and most stars have zero? Because she’s the only person who can lose 20 pounds of muscle and gain 10 pounds of gold in the same weekend.
Part of the 36 Oscars Jokes: The 2005 “Clint’s Knockout, Jamie’s Soul & Chris Rock’s Reality Check” Edition archive. Historically Verified
🔥 Top 10: The Oscars Joke Archive: 1995–2025
43 Oscars Jokes: The 2000 “American Beauty, Stolen Statues & Billy’s Millennium” Edition
In 2000, the 72nd Academy Awards arrived with a sigh of relief th...read more »
2024 Vintage: The Anya Taylor-Joy Look
Why did she look like a mermaid? To remind us that Furiosa is com...read more »
2025 Archive: The Best Cinematography
Why did Dune: Part Two win? Because Greig Fraser managed to make ...read more »
2025 Vintage: The Best Documentary Feature
Why did Will & Harper win? Because a road trip about friendsh...read more »
2025 Archive: The Best Live Action Short
Why did The Shepherd win? Because John Travolta and a ghost-plane...read more »
2025 Classic: The Tom Cruise "Stunt" Video
Why was he there? To remind us that he’s still doing his own stun...read more »
2024 Legacy: The Al Pacino "Best Picture" Reveal
Why did he just mumble the winner? Because when you’re Scarface, ...read more »
2024 Classic: The Best Animated Feature
Why did The Boy and the Heron win? Because Hayao Miyazaki is a wi...read more »
2024 Archive: The "Godzilla Minus One" Shoes
Why did the winners wear monster shoes? To prove that if you can ...read more »
2025 Classic: The Best Animated Short
Why did War Is Over! have a sequel? No, wait—it was Meow—because ...read more »
😜 More from category: The Oscars Joke Archive: 1995–2025
39 Oscars Jokes: The 2010 “Hurt Locker, Avatar & Kathryn’s History” Edition
In 2010, the 82nd Academy Awards were a classic David vs. Goliath...read more »
2025 Classic: The Best Sound Win
Why did the gladiators sweep? Because the sound of a rhino chargi...read more »
2024 Classic: The Best Documentary Short
Why did The Last Repair Shop win? Because a movie about people fi...read more »
41 Oscars Jokes: The 2007 “Scorsese’s Redemption, Ellen’s Vacuum & The Departed’s Victory” Edition
In 2007, the 79th Academy Awards finally fixed one of Hollywood’s...read more »
⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet
Reticulating splines... and laughing hard!
Drama in the pool, but laughs in the archive.
I didn’t find any memory leaks in this joke. Perfect.
128kbps of pure comedy gold.
All those laughs will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
Am I the only one who gives a damn about the rules of comedy?
Bookmarking this for later. So delicious!
In my second life, I’m a professional comedian.
Problem? No, just laughs!
Not bad. Not bad at all.