2004 Archive: The “Reporting for Duty” Salute
Why was Kerry’s DNC entrance so awkward? Because he saluted like he was auditioning for Top Gun, but the voters felt like they were watching… Read More »2004 Archive: The “Reporting for Duty” Salute
2004 Archive: The “Lame Duck” Label
Why did Bush reject it after winning? Because he felt he had “Earned Capital” and he was ready to spend it all on Social Security… Read More »2004 Archive: The “Lame Duck” Label
2004 Classic: The Bill Murray “Lost in Translation” Face
Why was Bill Murray so stoic? Because he realized that “Lost in Translation” wasn’t just the title of his movie, it was also what happened… Read More »2004 Classic: The Bill Murray “Lost in Translation” Face
2004 Archive: The Best Sound Mixing
Why did the fantasy sweep? Because “Dragon Fire” and “Screaming Wraiths” are the official sounds of 2004. Part of the 40 Oscars Jokes: The 2004… Read More »2004 Archive: The Best Sound Mixing
2004 Vintage: The Best Supporting Actress Race
Why did Shohreh Aghdashloo lose? Because the Academy wasn’t ready to give a statue to a movie as depressing as House of Sand and Fog.… Read More »2004 Vintage: The Best Supporting Actress Race
2004 Vintage: Christina’s “Beautiful” Moment
Why did she win Best Female Pop Vocal? To prove that while she could “Get Dirrty,” she could also make the entire room cry with… Read More »2004 Vintage: Christina’s “Beautiful” Moment
2004 Legacy: Best Male Pop Vocal
Why “Cry Me a River”? Because it was the most melodic way to tell your ex-girlfriend that you knew what she did. Part of the… Read More »2004 Legacy: Best Male Pop Vocal
2004 Vintage: Worst Actress
Why Halle Berry? For giving an emotional speech that was significantly better than any of her lines in the actual film. Part of the 35… Read More »2004 Vintage: Worst Actress
2004 Classic: Worst Supporting Actress Runner-up
Why Sharon Stone? For Catwoman, where she played a cosmetics mogul whose “evil” plan involved a face cream that makes your skin fall off. Part of… Read More »2004 Classic: Worst Supporting Actress Runner-up
2004 Archive: The Sarah Jessica Parker Win
Why did she finally get the Best Actress trophy? For proving that writing columns about sex can fund a wardrobe worth more than the GDP… Read More »2004 Archive: The Sarah Jessica Parker Win