1999 Classic: The Phantom Menace Debate
Why was the kids’ table so loud? Because half of them were practicing their lightsaber skills with glow sticks, while the other half were arguing… Read More »1999 Classic: The Phantom Menace Debate
1999 Classic: Worst Actress Runner-up
Why Catherine Zeta-Jones for Entrapment? For that scene where she maneuvers through lasers with her butt, which the Razzies called “cinematic high art” (sarcastic). Part of… Read More »1999 Classic: Worst Actress Runner-up
1999 Archive: The Question
I’m a philosopher. I’m just wondering why. Part of the 82 Classic Punny One-Liners: The 1999 Millennium’s End Edition archive. Historically Verified
1998 Legacy: The Pimm’s Cup
A guy orders a Pimm’s Cup. The bartender says, “One fruit basket with a kick, coming up.” Part of the 76 Bar Jokes: The 1998… Read More »1998 Legacy: The Pimm’s Cup
1998 Classic: The Armageddon Logic
Why was Armageddon a target? Because NASA realized it was easier to train oil drillers to be astronauts than to train screenwriters to understand basic physics. Part… Read More »1998 Classic: The Armageddon Logic
1997 Legacy: The Screen Saver
We spent ten minutes watching the 3D Pipes screen saver. It was the most exciting part of our Tuesday. Part of the 65 Marriage Jokes:… Read More »1997 Legacy: The Screen Saver
1997 Archive: The Notorious B.I.G. “Life After Death” Legacy
Why was the mood so heavy? Because Biggie Smalls left us just as he proved that hip-hop could be a cinematic, multi-platinum masterpiece, leaving Puff… Read More »1997 Archive: The Notorious B.I.G. “Life After Death” Legacy
1997 Classic: Outstanding Lead Actor (Comedy)
Why John Lithgow? For proving that overacting is only “acting” if you’re playing a high-ranking alien commander. Part of the 34 Emmy Awards Jokes: The… Read More »1997 Classic: Outstanding Lead Actor (Comedy)
1996 Archive: The Jogging
She started jogging in the mornings. It’s the fastest the neighbors have ever seen a “NO TRESPASSING” sign get ignored. Part of the 62 Mother-in-Law… Read More »1996 Archive: The Jogging
1996 Vintage: The Best Song Performance
Why did Bryan Adams perform “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman?” To remind every man in the audience that they weren’t wearing enough ruffles.… Read More »1996 Vintage: The Best Song Performance