Why was Conor proud? Because he landed more punches on Floyd than Manny Pacquiao did, proving that “Irish Power” is real, even in a boxing… Read More »2017 Archive: The McGregor vs. Mayweather “MMA” Stats
Why did China switch to a two-child policy? Because they realized that if you only have one child, there’s nobody left to pay for the… Read More »2015 Legacy: The One-Child Policy Ends
Why was the manager on a “Balance Board”? Because “Standing is the new sitting” and he wanted to look like a surfer while doing the… Read More »2015 Vintage: The Office Chair “Standing Desk” 2.0
It took 12 years to make. I spent two hours watching a kid grow up and realized I’ve done nothing with my life since 2002.… Read More »2014 Legacy: The Boyhood Commitment
Wrapping a thick, electric-wire heating pad around a stiff hip and refusing to move from the armchair until Alex Trebek finishes reading the Final Jeopardy… Read More »2013 Vintage: The Deep-Heat Fabric Protocol
“The house is clapping!” “No, that’s just the neighbors celebrating because we finally moved the junk pile from the porch.” Part of the 55 Adult Jokes: The… Read More »2013 Classic: The Conjuring
Why did the icons get so flat? Because Jony Ive decided that “shadows” and “gloss” were offensive, turning our iPhones into a neon-colored minimalist’s dream… Read More »2013 Classic: The Launch of iOS 7
I asked if my plan covers ‘Apocalyptic Events.’ The provider said, “Only if the apocalypse happens in-network and you have a referral from a Mayan… Read More »2012 Archive: The Doomsday Insurance
I’m 90% sure this song isn’t actually about sports officiating. Part of the 77 Observational One-Liners: The 2012 End of Days archive. Historically Verified
Why “Empire State of Mind”? Because New York has the best PR department in the world. Part of the 36 Grammy Jokes: The 2011 “The… Read More »2011 Legacy: Best Rap Song
We use 0% cookies and no tracking. Saving energy and protecting your privacy.