54 Sports Jokes: The 2021 “Summer of Sport & The Great Messi Migration” Edition

In 2021, the sports calendar was so crowded we actually saw “2020” events happening in mid-July. It was the year Lionel Messi realized he couldn’t pay his mortgage with loyalty, a Greek Freak conquered the NBA, and a single lap in Abu Dhabi turned the Formula 1 world into a courtroom drama.

The 2021 Top 10: The “Messi, Max & Giannis” Classics

1. Messi’s Move to PSG: Why did Lionel Messi need a whole box of tissues for his press conference? Because he realized that after 21 years in Barcelona, his “free agent” status meant moving to Paris, where the only thing more expensive than the players is the bottled water.
2. The Abu Dhabi “Last Lap”: Why was the Mercedes garage looking for a lawyer at 200 mph? Because Max Verstappen passed Lewis Hamilton on the final lap after a safety car decision that made the F1 rulebook look like a collection of polite suggestions.
3. Giannis’s 50-Piece: Why did Giannis Antetokounmpo go to Chick-fil-A after winning the Finals? To order exactly 50 nuggets—one for every point he dropped to win Milwaukee its first title in 50 years, proving that “The Process” is better with fries.
4. The Euro 2020 (in 2021) Final: Why was the “Football’s Coming Home” song so short? Because it got to the airport, realized it forgot its passport, and went back to Rome after Italy won on penalties at Wembley.
5. Tom Brady’s 7th Ring: Why did the Buccaneers win the Super Bowl in their own stadium? Because Tom Brady moved to Florida, brought his own “Avengers” team with him, and proved that a 43-year-old with a healthy diet is more dangerous than a 25-year-old with a cannon arm.
6. The Tokyo “Cardboard” Olympics: Why were the beds in Tokyo made of cardboard? To keep the athletes focused on their sports—and to provide a giant snack for the stray dogs if things got desperate.
7. The Super League “48-Hour” Dynasty: Why was the European Super League the shortest tournament in history? Because it started on Sunday, died on Tuesday, and proved that 12 billionaires are no match for a million angry fans in tracksuits.
8. The Simone Biles “Twisties”: Why was the greatest gymnast ever the most courageous person in Tokyo? Because she stepped back to protect her mind, proving that even a G.O.A.T. has to deal with gravity sometimes.
9. Novak’s “Calendar Slam” Fail: Why was the US Open final so quiet? Because Daniil Medvedev played like a wall and stopped Novak Djokovic from winning all four Majors in one year, proving that “Gluten-Free” doesn’t work against a Russian “Octopus.”
10. Christian Eriksen’s Recovery: Why was the Euro 2020 opener a miracle? Because the entire world stopped when Eriksen went down, and his recovery became the most important “victory” of the entire year.

The Full 2021 Sports Jokes Archive

11. The Messi/Ronaldo “Swap” Year: Why was the transfer window a reality show? Because Messi moved to Paris and Ronaldo returned to Manchester, making every FIFA fan’s dream team a literal reality.
12. The Shohei Ohtani MVP: Why was he the “Modern Babe Ruth”? Because he hit 46 homers and threw 100 mph, making every other baseball player feel like they were only doing 50% of their homework.
13. The Suns’ 2-0 Finals Lead: Why was Phoenix so hot and then so cold? Because they were two wins away from a ring until Giannis decided that “The Valley” was actually “Bucks Territory.”
14. The Emma Raducanu Miracle: Why was the US Open trophy in a teenager’s luggage? Because she went from the qualifying rounds to the title without losing a set, the ultimate “intern-to-CEO” promotion in sports history.
15. The Barcelona Debt: Why did they let Messi go for free? Because they had a billion-euro hole in their pocket and realized that “Mes que un club” actually stood for “More debt than a club can handle.”
16. The Phil Mickelson PGA Win: Why was the 50-year-old jumping? Because he became the oldest Major winner in history, proving that “Old Man Strength” and a lot of coffee can beat the kids any day.
17. The “It’s Rome, not Home”: Why were the Italians laughing in London? Because Bonucci yelled it at the camera after the final whistle, officially ending the most optimistic summer in English history.
18. The Aaron Rodgers “Immunized” Saga: Why was the Packers’ QB in the news for a week? Because he used the word “immunized” to mean “not vaccinated,” proving that even the best QBs can sometimes miss their target with words.
19. The Tokyo Skateboarding Debut: Why were 13-year-olds on the podium? Because the Olympics finally realized that “hanging out at the park” is actually an elite sport.
20. The Chelsea Champions League Win: Why was N’Golo Kanté everywhere? Because the scientists confirmed he has three lungs and the engine of a Ferrari, leading Chelsea to a 1-0 win over the “invincible” Man City.
21. The Ben Simmons “Pass”: Why did Philly fans want to trade him? Because he passed up an open dunk in the playoffs, a move so confusing it started a three-year soap opera about “The Process.”
22. The Sergio Ramos to PSG: Why was the medical room so crowded? Because Ramos joined Messi in Paris but spent the first six months watching the games from a very expensive couch.
23. The “Muddy” Cyclo-Cross: Why was Wout van Aert so dirty? Because in 2021, if you didn’t have mud in your teeth by the end of a race, you weren’t really trying.
24. The Tiger Woods “Car Crash” Comeback: Why was he walking the range in December? Because after nearly losing his leg in February, he played with his son Charlie and proved that a “Tiger” never really changes its stripes.
25. The NBA Top 75: Why were people arguing about Klay Thompson? Because he was left off the list, proving that 3 rings and 60 points in 29 minutes aren’t enough to impress some voters.
26. The Qatar World Cup Prep: Why were the stadiums already finished? Because money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a brand-new stadium in the middle of a desert in record time.
27. The Dustin Johnson “Slump”: Why was the world number one so quiet? Because after winning the Masters in 2020, he decided that 2021 was a good year for a very long nap.
28. The Olympic High Jump “Share”: Why were the two athletes hugging? Because Mutaz Barshim and Gianmarco Tamberi decided that two gold medals were better than one jump-off, the most wholesome moment of 2021.
29. The Steph Curry All-Time 3-Point Record: Why was MSG glowing? Because Steph hit his 2,974th three, officially becoming the greatest shooter to ever hold a basketball.
30. The Ryder Cup 19-9: Why was Whistling Straits so loud? Because the US team finally figured out that if they all liked each other for three days, they could actually win.
31. The Ash Barty Wimbledon: Why was the “Evonne Goolagong” dress so lucky? Because Ash won the title exactly 50 years after her idol, proving that Australian tennis was back on top.
32. The “Spider-Man” at the Euros: Why was there a paraglider in the stadium? Because Greenpeace decided to crash the party, proving that security in 2021 was a bit “pending approval.”
33. The Braves’ World Series: Why was Atlanta so “Brave”? Because they lost their best player in July and still won the World Series in October, ending a 26-year wait for a parade.
34. The Michael Masi “Human Race”: Why was the F1 race director a meme? Because he told Toto Wolff “It’s called a motor race, Toto,” while the world was screaming at their TVs.
35. The Cristiano Ronaldo “Coca-Cola” Moment: Why did the stock price drop? Because CR7 moved two bottles of Coke and told everyone to “drink water,” the most expensive five seconds in marketing history.
36. The Brooks Koepka vs. Bryson DeChambeau “Beef”: Why were they rolling their eyes? Because they hated each other so much the PGA decided to give them their own TV match just to see who would swing a club first.
37. The Jack Grealish £100m Move: Why was he the “Gucci” of Man City? Because he became the most expensive English player in history just to sit on the bench and look at the trophies.
38. The Olympic Surfing Debut: Why was the ocean part of the medal table? Because the Olympics finally added a sport where “waiting for a wave” is a legitimate tactical move.
39. The Harry Kane “Transfer Request”: Why was he still at Tottenham? Because Daniel Levy’s “No” is stronger than a £150 million offer from Man City.
40. The Kyrie Irving “Home Games Only”: Why was he a part-time worker? Because the Brooklyn Nets had a “No Vax, No Play” rule, turning their Big Three into a Big Two-and-a-Half.
41. The Jon Rahm “Positive Test”: Why was he crying at the Memorial? Because he had a 6-shot lead, finished the 18th hole, and was told he had COVID—then went out and won the U.S. Open two weeks later as revenge.
42. The “Empty” Tokyo Stands: Why were the cheers so digital? Because in 2021, the only thing louder than the athletes was the sound of pre-recorded fans.
43. The Lionel Messi Copa América: Why was the photo of him on the pitch so emotional? Because after four lost finals, he finally won a trophy with Argentina, and the internet ran out of “is he better than Maradona” arguments.
44. The Canelo Alvarez Undisputed: Why was he the King of Boxing? Because he collected all four belts in 11 months, proving that “Money” might be gone, but “Canelo” is the new bank.
45. The NHL Seattle Kraken Debut: Why was the “Release the Kraken” slogan everywhere? Because the NHL got a new team and they decided that being “the deep” was cooler than being a regular fish.
46. The Jimmie Johnson IndyCar Move: Why was the NASCAR legend at the back of the pack? Because turns out that turning left and right is a lot harder when you’re 45 years old.
47. The UEFA “Away Goals” Rule Death: Why were the games so long? Because UEFA killed the away goals rule, making every Champions League second leg a 120-minute marathon.
48. The Karsten Warholm 45.94: Why was the 400m hurdles a sprint? Because he broke the world record by almost a second, a feat so ridiculous it made the track feel like it was downhill.
49. The Manchester United “Ole’s at the Wheel” Crash: Why was the wheel coming off? Because despite signing Ronaldo and Sancho, United were still losing to teams with names we couldn’t spell.
50. The Olympic “Sunisa Lee” Gold: Why was St. Paul, Minnesota so proud? Because she stepped in for Biles and won the all-around gold, proving the “Next Generation” is already here.
51. The Super League “Apology” Videos: Why were the owners so sorry? Because they realized that “loyalty” is hard to buy when your fans are ready to burn the stadium down.
52. The 2021 New Year’s Eve: Why were we looking at 2022? Because the World Cup was in Qatar, the Winter Olympics in Beijing, and we wanted to see if Verstappen could actually keep his title.
53. The “NFT” Explosion: Why was everyone buying digital drawings of apes? Because in 2021, if a sports star didn’t have a “Bored Ape” profile picture, they were officially out of style.
54. The Conclusion of the 2021 Archive: Why was it the year of the “Wait”? Because after waiting a year for the Euros and the Olympics, the victories felt twice as sweet and the drama twice as loud.