49 Travel Jokes: The 2009 “Hudson Miracle & Airbnb” Edition

In 2009, travel was about survival and sharing. Captain Sully landed a plane on a river, and we all started wondering if our spare bedroom could pay for our next flight to Ibiza. It was the year of the Motorola Droid, the death of the King of Pop, and the rise of the “Selfie Stick” (though we just called them “monopods” and felt like nerds).

The 2009 Top 10: The “Sully & Social” Classics

1. The Hudson Landing: Why did the passenger refuse to get off the plane in NYC? Because Captain Sully made a water landing look so smooth, the guy thought he was at a 5-star water park.
2. The First Airbnb: Why was the traveler sleeping on a literal air mattress in a stranger’s kitchen? Because it was 2003 and he wanted the “authentic local experience” of being woken up by someone else’s cat.
3. The Avatar 3D: Why was the traveler wearing blue face paint at the airport? Because he just saw Avatar and realized that Pandora was a much better vacation spot than Ohio.
4. The Unfriend: Why did the backpacker lose 50 friends during his trip? Because he discovered the “Unfriend” button on Facebook and realized he didn’t need people who didn’t “Like” his 400 photos of a temple.
5. The Motorola Droid: Why did the traveler’s pocket say “DROID” in a scary robot voice? Because he finally got an Android phone that made his iPhone-using friends feel like they were holding toys.
6. The FarmVille Addict: Why did the tourist stay in his hotel room in Hawaii? Because his “crops” were dying on Facebook and he couldn’t leave his virtual farm for a real beach.
7. The Hangover: Why did the guys wake up with a tiger in their hotel room? Because they went to Vegas in 2009 and forgot that “what happens in Vegas” usually ends up on a digital camera.
8. The Michael Jackson Tribute: Why was every airport flash-mobbing to Thriller? Because it was 2003 and the world was trying to moonwalk its way through the security line.
9. The Minecraft Alpha: Why were the kids building dirt huts in the back of the car? Because Minecraft launched and they realized they could “travel” to a world made of blocks for only $10.
10. The Kanye “Imma Let You Finish”: Why did the flight attendant interrupt the pilot’s announcement? Because “Imma let you finish, but Captain Sully had one of the best landings of all time!”

The Full 2009 Travel Jokes Archive

11. The Twitter Trending: Why did the traveler feel famous? Because he used a hashtag and for five minutes, he was the “King of #AirportFood.”
12. The New Moon: Why were all the tourists in Italy looking for vampires? Because the second Twilight movie made Volterra look like the perfect place to get bitten.
13. The BlackBerry Curve 8520: Why was the student so happy? Because he finally got a BlackBerry with a “trackpad” instead of that annoying ball that got stuck with sand.
14. The Angry Birds: Why was the flight so quiet? Because everyone was busy launching grumpy red birds at green pigs on their tiny screens.
15. The Up Movie: Why did the old man tie balloons to his house? Because the airline baggage fees were so high, he decided to fly his entire home to South America instead.
16. The Windows 7: Why was the laptop traveler smiling? Because Windows Vista was finally gone, and his computer didn’t ask “Are you sure?” every time he moved his mouse.
17. The Black Eyed Peas “I Gotta Feeling”: Why was every hotel lobby so loud? Because that song was the official anthem of every “Good Night” from 2009 to eternity.
18. The 3D Glasses: Why did the traveler look like a bug? Because he kept forgetting to take off his 3D glasses after watching Avatar on the plane.
19. The Lady Gaga “Poker Face”: Why was the traveler wearing a dress made of meat? Because Gaga made “weird” the new “cool” for international arrivals.
20. The GPS Navigation: Why did the driver end up in a river? Because he told his GPS “I want to be like Sully” and the machine took him literally.
21. The Kindle 2: Why was the reader so smug? Because his new Kindle could read books out loud in a robotic voice, making his 10-hour flight feel like a bedtime story.
22. The Slumdog Millionaire: Why were people traveling to Mumbai? Because the movie won 8 Oscars and everyone wanted to see if they could win a game show during their layover.
23. The Bing Launch: Why did the traveler use Bing? Because Microsoft told him it was a “Decision Engine,” and he needed help deciding between a taco or a burger.
24. The Glee Phenomenon: Why was the school group singing in the terminal? Because Glee premiered and they were convinced life was a musical with auto-tune.
25. The FarmVille Gift: Why did the traveler get an “Imaginary Cow” for his birthday? Because his friends were too cheap to buy a real souvenir.
26. The Sherlock Holmes: Why was the tourist wearing a cape? Because Robert Downey Jr. made being a detective look like a Victorian action movie.
27. The Foursquare: Why was the man “Checking In” to a public toilet? Because he wanted to be the “Mayor” of the airport restroom on a new app.
28. The 2012 Movie: Why were people booking trips for three years in advance? Because the movie told them the world was ending, so they might as well max out their credit cards now.
29. The iPhone 3GS: Why was the “S” so important? Because it stood for “Speed,” which meant the traveler could finally load a picture of his lunch in 10 seconds instead of 30.
30. The Paranormal Activity: Why did the traveler keep his hotel lights on? Because he saw the movie and was convinced his bedsheet was going to fly away at 3 AM.
31. The 10-Year Challenge: Why did the traveler look so old? Because he looked at his passport photo from 1999 and realized he’d spent a decade in airport lounges.
32. The District 9: Why was the tourist in Johannesburg being so careful? Because he heard there were aliens living in “shrimp” houses and he didn’t want to turn into one.
33. The Words with Friends: Why was the passenger ignoring the view? Because he was trying to find a triple-word score for “VACATION” against a stranger in Seattle.
34. The Paul Blart: Why was the airport security guard on a Segway? Because he thought he was a “Mall Cop” and the terminal was his kingdom.
35. The Michael Jackson Gloves: Why did the traveler have only one glove? Because he was “healing the world” while waiting for his delayed flight to Gary, Indiana.
36. The Zombieland: Why did the traveler have a box of Twinkies? Because Rule #32 is “Enjoy the little things,” especially when your flight is 5 hours late.
37. The Chatroulette: Why did the backpacker turn off his webcam? Because he tried to meet travelers on Chatroulette and saw things that no amount of “local culture” could explain.
38. The Susan Boyle: Why was the traveler singing in the shower? Because if a lady from Scotland could become a superstar, he could definitely survive a hostel bathroom.
39. The He’s Just Not That Into You: Why was the girl crying over her phone? Because he didn’t “Like” her status, which in 2009 was the ultimate sign of a breakup.
40. The Palm Pre: Why was the tech geek crying? Because he bought the “iPhone Killer” and realized it was actually just a very small, very round pebble.
41. The In-N-Out: Why did the East Coast traveler fly to LA? Just to take a photo of a burger and post it on Facebook to make his friends jealous.
42. The 64GB USB: Why did the traveler feel like a spy? Because he had enough storage to hold every movie ever made (in 480p) on a stick the size of his thumb.
43. The Star Trek Reboot: Why was the traveler saying “Live long and prosper” to the pilot? Because Chris Pine made space travel look cool again.
44. The Uncharted 2: Why did the gamer stay in the hotel? Because the graphics were so good he felt like he was already in Nepal without the actual hiking.
45. The Ke$ha “Tik Tok”: Why did the traveler brush his teeth with a bottle of Jack? Because the song told him to, and he immediately regretted it during the 6 AM security line.
46. The Paperless Ticket: Why was the traveler sweating? Because the airline sent him a “QR Code” and he wasn’t sure if his phone battery would survive the 2-hour wait.
47. The Swine Flu: Why was everyone wearing a mask (again)? Because 2009 was the year we all learned to carry hand sanitizer like it was holy water.
48. The Facebook Lite: Why was the connection so fast? Because Facebook launched a “Lite” version for travelers with terrible Wi-Fi, and it actually worked.
49. The Couples Retreat: Why did the couple go to Bora Bora? Because they saw the movie and thought a tropical island would solve all their problems (spoiler: it didn’t).