42 Oscars Jokes: The 2011 “The King’s Speech, Franco’s Nap & The Social Network Snub” Edition

In 2011, the 83rd Academy Awards tried to attract a younger audience by hiring James Franco and Anne Hathaway, resulting in a show that felt like a high school theater enthusiast trying to perform a play with a guy who was just there for the college credit. It was the year Colin Firth conquered his stutter, Natalie Portman danced into the history books, and Mark Zuckerberg realized that winning the internet doesn’t mean winning Best Picture.

The 2011 Red Carpet Top 10: “Stutters & Social Media”

1. The Franco-Hathaway Dynamic: Why was Anne Hathaway so energetic? Because she was trying to generate enough charisma to cover for James Franco, who looked like he was watching a 3-hour documentary about beige paint.
2. The “King’s Speech” Sweep: Why did it win Best Picture? Because the Academy decided that a British monarch learning to speak is more heroic than a guy in a hoodie inventing Facebook.
3. The Natalie Portman “Swan” Win: Why did she win Best Actress? Because she proved that if you lose 20 pounds, dance until your toenails fall off, and go crazy in a tutu, the Academy will protect you at all costs.
4. The Colin Firth Lock: Why was his win so certain? Because after A Single Man, the Academy realized they owed him a trophy, and playing a King with a stutter is like “Oscar Bingo.”
5. The Christian Bale “Fighter” Win: Why did he win Best Supporting Actor? Because he’s the only man who can lose half his body weight and still look like he could beat up everyone in the front row.
6. The “Inception” Technical Wins: Why did it win 4 Oscars? Because the Academy didn’t understand the plot, but they were very impressed by the spinning hallway and the loud “Bwaaaaah” noises.
7. The Melissa Leo “F-Bomb”: Why was her speech so famous? Because she became the first person to drop an F-bomb during a thank-you speech, proving that winning an Oscar is the most stressful thing a human can endure.
8. The Kirk Douglas Appearance: Why did it take 15 minutes to announce a winner? Because when you’re 94 years old and a legend, the clock doesn’t start until you say it does.
9. The “Toy Story 3” Tears: Why was it nominated for Best Picture? To remind every adult in the audience that they still haven’t gotten over the scene where the toys hold hands in the furnace.
10. The Hailee Steinfeld Nod: Why was a 14-year-old the coolest person on the carpet? To show the veterans that you can be a movie star and still have a bedtime.

The Full 2011 Oscars Jokes Archive

11. The “Social Network” Snub: Why didn’t it win Best Picture? Because the Academy voters were still trying to figure out how to log into their AOL accounts.
12. The Best Director Win: Why did Tom Hooper win? Because he used more wide-angle lenses in one movie than most directors use in a lifetime.
13. The Best Original Screenplay: Why did The King’s Speech win? To prove that “I have a voice!” is the most powerful line of the decade.
14. The Best Adapted Screenplay: Why did Aaron Sorkin win? Because he writes dialogue faster than most people can think, and the Academy wanted to reward him before he ran out of words.
15. The Best Costume Design: Why did Alice in Wonderland win? Because Tim Burton is the only person who can make a hat look like it’s having a nervous breakdown.
16. The Best Art Direction: Why did the rabbit hole win? Because the Academy loves a movie where the furniture is as weird as the characters.
17. The Best Cinematography: Why did Inception win? Because Wally Pfister managed to film a dream inside a dream inside a dream without getting any drool on the lens.
18. The Best Makeup Win: Why did The Wolfman win? Because turning Benicio del Toro into a werewolf is just a standard Tuesday for a talented makeup artist.
19. The Best Visual Effects: Why was Inception a lock? Because they made a city fold in half, and it still looked more realistic than a celebrity’s plastic surgery.
20. The Best Sound Mixing: Why did the dream-heist win? Because the “kick” sound is the official alarm clock for the 2011 ceremony.
21. The Best Sound Editing: Why did Inception sweep the technicals? Because “Loud Noises” are the Academy’s favorite way to stay awake during the slow parts.
22. The Best Original Score: Why did Trent Reznor win? Because the Academy realized that the guy who wrote “Head Like a Hole” is actually the best person to write the soundtrack for the digital age.
23. The Best Original Song: Why did Toy Story 3 win? Because Randy Newman has a permanent contract to win an Oscar every time a cartoon makes us cry.
24. The Best Foreign Language Film: Why did In a Better World win? Because Denmark reminded us that “Sad and Meaningful” is the official language of the foreign category.
25. The Best Film Editing: Why did The Social Network win? Because cutting together 500 lines of dialogue into a thriller is the ultimate puzzle.
26. The Best Documentary Feature: Why did Inside Job win? To remind the people in the tuxedos that the people who stole their money are still out there (and probably at the after-party).
27. The Best Animated Feature: Why did Toy Story 3 win? Because it’s the only movie that makes men in their 40s weep about a plastic dinosaur.
28. The Honorary Award for Eli Wallach: Why? Because after 60 years of being “The Ugly” (and the Great), he finally got a piece of gold to match his legend.
29. The Best Live Action Short: Why did God of Love win? Because a guy with a bow and arrow and a fedora is exactly what the Oscars were missing.
30. The Best Animated Short: Why did The Lost Thing win? To prove that even a giant red teapot-monster can have feelings.
31. The James Franco “Drag” Bit: Why did he dress as Marilyn Monroe? To show that he was willing to do anything for the show, except look like he wanted to be there.
32. The Anne Hathaway “Les Mis” Tease: Why did she sing so much? Because she was auditioning for 2012 in the middle of 2011.
33. The Best Documentary Short: Why did Strangers No More win? Because the Academy loves a story that proves kids are smarter than the adults running the world.
34. The “True Grit” Snub: Why did it lose all 10 nominations? Because the Coen Brothers decided that making a movie with no woodchippers was a risky move.
35. The Javier Bardem & Josh Brolin Bit: Why did they wear white tuxedos? To remind us that they were the coolest “No Country” duo to ever present an award.
36. The Best Sound Editing: Why was it so technical? Because the sound of a King breathing into a microphone is the ultimate ASMR for Oscar voters.
37. The Governor’s Ball: Why was the food so “Digital”? Because after The Social Network, even the salmon had to be “Status-Update” worthy.
38. The Oprah Appearance: Why was she there? Because you can’t have a major world event without Oprah giving the audience a feeling of immense importance.
39. The “Winter’s Bone” Recognition: Why was Jennifer Lawrence there? To prove that you can hunt squirrels in the Ozarks and still look like a Dior model.
40. The Billy Crystal Cameo: Why did the audience cheer so loud? Because for 30 seconds, they remembered what it felt like to have a host who actually liked the movies.
41. The Best Supporting Actress: Why did Melissa Leo campaign so hard? Because she knew that in Hollywood, if you don’t tell them you’re great, they might actually listen to your dialogue.
42. The 2011 Final Oscars Vibe: Why was it a “Classic” year? Because it was the night the “Old Guard” of British royalty beat the “New World” of the internet, making the 2011 Oscars a beautiful, stuttering, and slightly awkward bridge between the past and the future.