39 Razzie Awards Jokes: The 2019 “Cats, CGI Fur & The Fanatic” Edition

In 2019, the 40th Razzie Awards didn’t even need to look for a winner—it walked into the room on four paws and hissed. It was the year digital fur technology became a nightmare, John Travolta went full “stalker,” and the Razzies had to admit that some movies are so bad they actually defy the laws of physics and taste.

The 2017 Razzie Red Carpet Top 10: “Feline Fails, Mullets & Mobsters”

1. The Cats Catastrophe: Why did Cats win 6 Razzies? Because it’s the only movie where the most realistic part was the actors’ collective desire to be literally anywhere else.
2. The Fanatic’s Haircut: Why was John Travolta nominated? Because playing a bowl-cut-wearing stalker named “Moose” is a career choice that makes his Battlefield Earth dreadlocks look like a masterpiece of style.
3. The Digital Fur Technology: Why was it mocked? Because spending millions to give Judi Dench a fur coat made of her own skin is the kind of visual horror that usually requires an exorcist, not a cinema ticket.
4. The Rambo: Last Blood Grudge: Why did it win Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-off or Sequel? Because the Razzies felt that turning John Rambo into a “Home Alone” for adults with a grudge was one trap too many.
5. Rebel Wilson’s Double Whammy: Why was she hit for Cats and The Hustle? For proving that “shouting while falling over” is only funny for the first 400 times you do it in a single year.
6. The Serenity Twist: Why were Matthew McConaughey and Anne Hathaway nominated? Because a movie that starts as a thriller and ends as a video game created by a bored teenager is the ultimate “Wait, what?” moment of 2019.
7. The Hellboy Reboot: Why was it a target? For proving that without Guillermo del Toro, Hellboy is just a guy in a lot of red makeup shouting in a very loud, very empty room.
8. The Haunting of Sharon Tate: Why did Hilary Duff win Worst Actress? For taking a tragic real-life story and turning it into a supernatural slasher movie that was as tasteless as it was boring.
9. The Madea Funeral: Why was Tyler Perry nominated? For A Madea Family Funeral, which promised an ending to the character but felt like a 2-hour long threat that she’d be back next week.
10. The Razzie Redeemer – Eddie Murphy: Why did he win? For his brilliant performance in Dolemite Is My Name, proving that you can survive Norbit and Pluto Nash if you just wait long enough for the right script.

The Full 2019 Razzie Jokes Archive

11. Worst Picture: Why Cats? Because it’s a movie that asks the question “What if everyone in Hollywood was a humanoid feline?” and the answer is “Please, God, make it stop.”
12. Worst Actor: Why John Travolta? For The Fanatic and Trading Paint—proving that in 2019, John was taking every role that required either a bad haircut or a loud engine.
13. Worst Actress: Why Hilary Duff? For a performance that was so “dead on arrival” it actually matched the theme of the movie.
14. Worst Supporting Actor: Why James Corden? For Cats, where his primary comedic contribution was being a fat cat who eats garbage—which is also a metaphor for the film’s production.
15. Worst Supporting Actress: Why Rebel Wilson? For Cats, where her “digital fur” featured a zipper that the animators forgot to remove, effectively summarizing the entire movie’s quality control.
16. Worst Director: Why Tom Hooper for Cats? For directing a $100 million musical like he was trying to film a fever dream he had after eating bad seafood.
17. Worst Screenplay: Why Cats? For a script that was mostly just characters introducing themselves for 110 minutes before one of them flies away in a chandelier.
18. Worst Screen Combo: Why “Any Two Half-Feline/Half-Human Hairballs” in Cats? Because the only thing they shared was a mutual sense of digital embarrassment.
19. The “Cats” Human Hands: Why were they a joke? For proving that if you’re going to turn actors into cats, you should probably remember to give them paws, not manicured fingers.
20. The “Rambo: Last Blood” Violence: Why was it hit? For a movie so mean-spirited it made the audience feel like they were the ones being interrogated in a tunnel.
21. The “Serenity” Fishing: Why Matthew McConaughey? For a movie where his obsession with catching a “big fish” was as confusing as the plot’s sudden shift into The Matrix.
22. The “Hustle” Burn: Why Anne Hathaway? For an accent that traveled through more countries than a seasoned diplomat.
23. The “Playing with Fire” Vibe: Why John Cena? For a family comedy that was so “safe” it actually managed to be dangerous for the audience’s brain cells.
24. The “Dark Phoenix” Failure: Why was it hit? For being the fourth “final” X-Men movie and the fourth time they tried to tell the same story worse than the last time.
25. The “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” Burn: Why was it hit? For proving that humans in a monster movie are just the things that talk while we wait for the lizard to show up.
26. Worst Actor Runner-up: Why Sylvester Stallone? For Rambo: Last Blood, a performance that consisted mostly of gravelly mumbling and intense staring at porch furniture.
27. Worst Actress Runner-up: Why Anne Hathaway? For The Hustle and Serenity, the ultimate “What was she thinking?” world tour.
28. Worst Supporting Actor Runner-up: Why Seth Rogen for Zeroville? For a movie so bad it sat on a shelf for five years before the Razzies finally caught up with it.
29. Worst Supporting Actress Runner-up: Why Judi Dench? For Cats, where she looked like a giant ginger cake that had gained sentience and a lot of regret.
30. The “Zeroville” Burn: Why James Franco? For a movie about a man with a tattoo of a movie on his head, which is exactly as pretentious as it sounds.
31. The “Men in Black: International” Logic: Why Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson? For proving that chemistry in Thor doesn’t mean you can save a franchise that has run out of gas.
32. The “Glass” Twist: Why M. Night Shyamalan? For an ending that was so underwhelming it made the previous two movies feel like a prank.
33. The “Goldfinch” Failure: Why was it hit? For taking a Pulitzer-winning book and turning it into a movie that felt like a very long, very boring antique show.
34. The “After” Burn: Why was it hit? For being Fifty Shades of Grey for teenagers, which is a concept nobody, including the Razzies, wanted to see.
35. The “UglyDolls” Logic: Why? For a movie about “imperfect” dolls that was a perfectly bad example of corporate tie-in filmmaking.
36. The “Jacob’s Ladder” Remake: Why? For proving that some ladders should never be climbed twice.
37. The “Domino” Burn: Why Brian De Palma? For a thriller that was so chaotic even the director tried to distance himself from it before it was released.
38. The “Cats” Soundtrack: Why was it a joke? For “Beautiful Ghosts,” a song that reminded everyone that even Taylor Swift can’t save a cat-astrophic production.
39. The 2019 Final Razzie Vibe: Why was it a landmark? Because it was the year Cats broke the Razzies’ scale, proving that Hollywood’s “artistic vision” can sometimes be a literal crime against eyes.