38 Musician & Rock Star Jokes: The 2003 “In Da Club, Crazy In Love & The Indie Uprising” Edition

In 2003, the music world revolved around diamond chains, white stripes, and the birth of a new queen. 50 Cent showed us how to celebrate a birthday in the club, Beyoncé proved she could rule the planet solo, and a two-piece band from Detroit proved one riff was enough to move stadiums. It was the year buying songs for 99 cents became legal, and polyphonic ringtones reached their absolute peak.

The 2003 Soundboard Top 10: “Get Rich, Dangerously In Love & Seven Nation Army”

1. The 50 Cent “Get Rich or Die Tryin’” Explosion: Why did everyone want to be in the club? Because 50 Cent and Dr. Dre created an album so powerful that even your grandma knew what “G-Unit” meant.
2. The Beyoncé “Crazy in Love” Arrival: Why that horn blast? Because Beyoncé officially left Destiny’s Child, put on red pumps, and reminded everyone who was actually in charge of the industry.
3. The White Stripes “Seven Nation Army” Riff: Why those three colors? Because Jack White wrote a riff so simple and brilliant that since 2003, there hasn’t been a soccer match where fans didn’t chant it.
4. The Outkast “Speakerboxxx/The Love Below” Double: Why “Hey Ya!”? Because Andre 3000 told us to shake it like a Polaroid picture, and Big Boi proved the South still had the most flavor.
5. The Evanescence “Fallen” Breakthrough: Why that scream? Because Amy Lee proved that Gothic rock with a piano and a nu-metal riff was exactly what we needed to feel “Bring Me To Life.”
6. The Black Eyed Peas “Elephunk” Shift: Why Fergie? Because adding “The Dutchess” turned an underground hip-hop group into a hit-making machine, starting with the question “Where Is The Love?”.
7. The Justin Timberlake “Cry Me A River” Drama: Why the rain? Because JT officially won the breakup with Britney by turning his pain into the most stylish music video of the year.
8. The Linkin Park “Meteora” Dominance: Why the graffiti? Because the band proved they could repeat their debut success, and “Numb” became the anthem for anyone who felt misunderstood.
9. The Sean Paul “Get Busy” Heat: Why the dancehall? Because Sean Paul made the year 2003 smell like summer for all twelve months.
10. The iTunes Music Store Launch: Why 99 cents? Because Steve Jobs convinced us it was better to pay a dollar for a song than to risk viruses on Kazaa.

The Full 2003 Musician & Rock Star Archive

11. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs “Fever to Tell”: Why Karen O? For proving that NYC art-punk could be wild, dirty, and incredibly fashionable all at once.
12. The Muse “Absolution” Grandeur: Why the falsetto? For the album that turned rock into a space opera full of conspiracy theories and epic riffs.
13. The Kings of Leon “Youth & Young Manhood”: Why the beards? For a debut that sounded like 70s Southern rock met garage punk in a Tennessee bar.
14. The Darkness “I Believe in a Thing Called Love”: Why the jumpsuits? For reminding the world that rock and roll should be fun, campy, and full of high notes.
15. The Jay-Z “The Black Album” Retirement: Why the black cover? For Hov’s “last” album (before ten more), which served as the perfect goodbye for the King of New York.
16. The Radiohead “Hail to the Thief”: Why those colors? For a return to guitars, but still with enough paranoia to let us know it was definitely Thom Yorke.
17. The Metallica “St. Anger” Snare: Why did it sound like a trash can? For the most controversial snare drum sound in music history, which still divides metal fans today.
18. The Jet “Get Free”: Why did it sound like Iggy Pop? For the song that was in every Apple, iPod, and “cool” commercial in 2003.
19. The Missy Elliott “This Is Not A Test!”: Why those beats? For Timbaland and Missy still living in the year 3000 while we were trying to keep up.
20. The Strokes “Room on Fire”: Why “Reptilia”? For proving their style wasn’t an accident and that NYC cigarettes taste best to their music.
21. The Pink “Try This”: Why Tim Armstrong from Rancid? For the moment Pink decided to become a punk-rock rebel.
22. The No Doubt “It’s My Life” Cover: Why Gwen in court? For the Talk Talk cover that served as the final stop before Gwen Stefani’s massive solo career.
23. The Ludacris “Chicken-n-Beer”: Why the humor? For the rapper who proved you could have the fastest flow and the most absurd music videos.
24. The Postal Service “Give Up”: Why the mail? For the side project that made indie-electro the soundtrack for anyone with a broken heart and a laptop.
25. The Britney Spears “In The Zone”: Why “Toxic”? For the song that proved Britney could still stay ten years ahead of every trend.
26. The Johnny Cash “The Man Comes Around”: Why the goodbye? For the legend’s final great album, released just before his passing in September 2003.
27. The Nelly, P. Diddy & Murphy Lee “Shake Ya Tailfeather”: Why Bad Boys II? For the summer anthem that made everyone want a denim jacket and aviator sunglasses.
28. The Death of Elliott Smith: Why the silence? For the tragic loss of one of the most delicate voices in alternative music in October 2003.
29. The Blink-182 Self-Titled: Why no more fart jokes? For the album where the pop-punks grew up and started sounding like The Cure.
30. The Kelis “Milkshake”: Why the yard? For the song that ensured the word “milkshake” would never just mean a dairy beverage ever again.
31. The Dido “Life for Rent”: Why so calm? For the album that was in every car in 2003 because nobody could find a reason to be mad at it.
32. The Mars Volta “De-Loused in the Comatorium”: Why the hair? For the most insane progressive rock of the year that literally blew out speakers.
33. The Limp Bizkit “Results May Vary”: Why no Wes Borland? For the album that proved without their guitarist, nu-metal loses its luster.
34. The Busta Rhymes “I Know What You Want”: Why Mariah? For the most unexpected, smooth duet of the year that ruled the airwaves.
35. The Libertines Mania: Why Pete and Carl? For the British band more famous for their fights and chaos than their music, even though the music was brilliant.
36. The Alicia Keys “The Diary of…”: Why “You Don’t Know My Name”? For the video featuring Kanye West and proving that soul was doing just fine.
37. The Nickelback “The Long Road”: Why were they still there? Because despite the memes, “Someday” played on every radio from Los Angeles to Warsaw.
38. The 2003 Final Music Vibe: Why did the year feel so transitional? Because it was the moment physical CDs started losing to file downloads, G-Unit made bulletproof vests a fashion statement, and we wore our iPods like jewelry, knowing the future of music was worth exactly 99 cents.