42 Musician & Rock Star Jokes: The 2016 “Lemonade, Starboy & The Year of the Legends” Edition

In 2016, the music industry felt like a rollercoaster designed by David Lynch. Beyoncé turned marital drama into high art, Drake dominated the charts for an entire summer while barely moving his feet, and we collectively realized that our musical heroes were mortal. It was the year of the “Mannequin Challenge,” the rise of the “mumble rap” era, and the moment we all learned that a “Starboy” had a very expensive haircut.

The 2016 Soundboard Top 10: “Lemonade, Views & The Final Bows”

1. The Beyoncé “Lemonade” Drop: Why the baseball bat? Because Beyoncé released a visual album that made every man in America nervous and proved that when life gives you lemons, you make a multi-platinum masterpiece about it.
2. The David Bowie “Blackstar” Farewell: Why the blindfold? Because Bowie released a haunting masterpiece on his birthday and left the planet two days later, proving he was a genius who could even direct his own exit.
3. The Drake “Views” Summer: Why the tiny Drake on the CN Tower? Because One Dance stayed at #1 for 15 weeks, proving that Drake didn’t need to rap anymore—he just needed a Caribbean beat and a rainy window.
4. The Prince Tragedy: Why the purple rain? Because the loss of Prince in April left the world without its most mysterious and talented virtuoso, making us all realize that the 80s were officially becoming a memory.
5. The Kanye West “The Life of Pablo” Chaos: Why the floating stage? Because Kanye kept changing the album after it was released, proving that in 2016, a “finished” record was just a suggestion.
6. The The Weeknd “Starboy” Rebrand: Why the cross? Because Abel cut off his signature hair and teamed up with Daft Punk to prove that he was the new king of the night.
7. The Rihanna “Anti” Era: Why the “Work, work, work”? Because Rihanna released an album that was weird, gritty, and perfect, even if nobody could understand 60% of the lyrics to its biggest hit.
8. The Chance the Rapper “Coloring Book”: Why the hat? Because he became the first artist to win a Grammy for a streaming-only album, proving that record labels were slowly becoming optional.
9. The Chainsmokers “Closer” Domination: Why the backseat of a Rover? Because this song was played so many times in 2016 that it’s now legally required to be played at every high school reunion until 2050.
10. The Frank Ocean “Blonde” Return: Why the two versions? Because after four years of silence and a livestream of him building a staircase, Frank finally returned to save R&B and break our hearts again.

The Full 2016 Musician & Rock Star Archive

11. The Bruno Mars “24K Magic”: Why the silk shirts? For the man who decided that 2016 needed to feel like a 1980s Vegas pool party.
12. The Radiohead “A Moon Shaped Pool”: Why the “Burn the Witch”? For the band deleting their entire social media presence just to remind us they were still the masters of digital paranoia.
13. The Twenty One Pilots “Stressed Out” (Peak): Why the red beanies? For the duo that officially made “anxiety-pop” the biggest genre for every teenager with a skateboard.
14. The Solange “A Seat at the Table”: Why the hair clips? For Solange proving that she could make an album just as influential and beautiful as her sister, but with a lot more jazz.
15. The A Tribe Called Quest “We Got It from Here…”: Why the comeback? For the legends returning for one final masterpiece after 18 years, honoring the memory of Phife Dawg.
16. The Sia “This Is Acting”: Why the “Cheap Thrills”? For the woman who wrote hits for everyone else and then decided to keep the biggest one for herself.
17. The Childish Gambino “Awaken, My Love!”: Why the funk? For Donald Glover ditching the rap to become a 70s soul-god, proving there was nothing he couldn’t do.
18. The Bon Iver “22, A Million”: Why the symbols? For Justin Vernon trading the acoustic guitar for a glitchy computer and a lot of math.
19. The Desiigner “Panda”: Why the broads in Atlanta? For the song that sounded so much like Future that everyone—including Future—was confused for three months.
20. The Green Day “Revolution Radio”: Why the return to form? For the punks proving they could still write a three-minute anthem about the state of the world.
21. The Kings of Leon “Walls”: Why the floating faces? For the band finally getting another #1 album by leaning back into their melodic rock roots.
22. The Lady Gaga “Joanne”: Why the pink hat? For Gaga ditching the meat dress for a guitar and a country-pop vibe that confused the “Little Monsters” just enough.
23. The Rae Sremmurd “Black Beatles”: Why the Mannequin Challenge? For the song that made the entire world stand still for 30 seconds at a time.
24. The Anderson .Paak “Malibu”: Why the drums? For the man who brought the “groove” back to 2016 with a smile and a Rasheed Wallace reference.
25. The Nick Cave “Skeleton Tree”: Why the heartbreak? For the most devastatingly beautiful album of the year, recorded in the wake of unimaginable personal tragedy.
26. The Metallica “Hardwired… to Self-Destruct”: Why the return? For the legends proving they could still thrash harder than kids half their age.
27. The Fifth Harmony “Work from Home”: Why the sledgehammers? For the girl group anthem that made everyone want to quit their jobs and dance in a construction site.
28. The Panic! At The Disco “Death of a Bachelor”: Why the Sinatra vibes? For Brendon Urie officially becoming a one-man show and ruling the rock charts.
29. The James Blake “The Colour in Anything”: Why the long album? For the man who made being sad in a rainy forest sound like a luxury.
30. The Kaytranada “99.9%”: Why the grooves? For the producer who proved that the best dance music of 2016 was coming from a basement in Montreal.
31. The ANOHNI “Hopelessness”: Why the political dance music? For the artist who made the most beautiful songs ever written about drone warfare.
32. The Lukas Graham “7 Years”: Why the life story? For the song that made everyone reflect on their age while waiting for their coffee.
33. The Migos “Bad and Boujee”: Why the “Rain Drop, Drop Top”? For the moment Atlanta trap officially became the new pop music.
34. The Avenged Sevenfold “The Stage”: Why the surprise drop? For the metal band following in Beyoncé’s footsteps and releasing a space-themed concept album out of nowhere.
35. The Leonard Cohen “You Want It Darker”: Why the goodbye? For the legendary poet delivering a perfect final album just weeks before he left us.
36. The Death of George Michael: Why the Christmas Day shock? For the loss of a pop icon who taught the world about “Faith” and “Freedom,” leaving us on the day of his most famous song.
37. The Death of Glenn Frey: Why the Eagles silence? For the loss of a songwriter who helped define the sound of the American West.
38. The Death of Maurice White: Why the Earth, Wind & Fire? For the loss of the man who gave the world its most joyful funk and soul.
39. The Nobel Prize for Bob Dylan: Why the literature? For the moment the world finally admitted that lyrics are poetry, even if Dylan didn’t show up to the party to collect his award.
40. The Pokémon GO Effect: Why the crowds in parks? Because while we were listening to music, we were also trying to catch a Charizard in a church parking lot.
41. The AirPods Launch: Why no wires? For the day we all started looking like we were talking to ourselves while listening to the Starboy album.
42. The 2016 Final Music Vibe: Why did the year feel like an ending and a beginning? Because we spent the year mourning Bowie and Prince, while watching Beyoncé and Frank Ocean rebuild the future of music on the fly, all while we stood still for the Mannequin Challenge and waited for our Pokémon to hatch.