38 Grammy Jokes: The 2010 “Single Ladies & Fearless Records” Edition

In 2010, the 52nd Grammy Awards were a battle of the titans. Beyoncé set a new standard for excellence, Taylor Swift took country-pop to the moon, and Lady Gaga officially turned the Staples Center into her own personal planet.

The 2010 Red Carpet Top 10: “Glitter, Shoulders & Space Suits”

1. Beyoncé’s Record Night: Why did she win 6 awards? Because in 2009, she put a ring on it, and in 2010, the Academy put six gold trophies on her shelf.
2. Taylor’s Big Win: Why did Fearless win Album of the Year? Because Taylor Swift turned teenage high school drama into a multi-platinum empire that even the most serious voters couldn’t ignore.
3. Lady Gaga’s Orbit: Why did she show up in a 3D solar system dress? Because she wanted to make sure everyone knew that her talent literally has its own gravitational pull.
4. The “Single Ladies” Dance: Why was it everywhere? Because in 2010, if you didn’t know the hand-flip move, you weren’t allowed to have a pulse.
5. The Black Eyed Peas’ Return: Why did they win Best Pop Vocal Album? Because “I Gotta Feeling” was played so much that it’s now legally part of the background noise of the universe.
6. Pink’s “Glitter” Trapeze: Why did she perform hanging from the ceiling? Because Pink is the only person who can sing a power ballad while doing Cirque du Soleil and not miss a single note.
7. Kings of Leon “Use Somebody”: Why did it win Record of the Year? Because that “Whoa-oh-oh” hook was the only thing rock fans and pop fans could agree on for 12 straight months.
8. The Michael Jackson Tribute: Why was it so emotional? Because the world was still saying goodbye to the King of Pop, and the 3D tribute made everyone reach for their tissues (and their glasses).
9. Drake’s Debut: Why was he there? To remind us that “Best I Ever Had” was just the beginning of a decade-long plan to be on every chart forever.
10. The Zac Brown Band: Why did they win Best New Artist? Because sometimes, even in a room full of glitter and space suits, the Academy just wants to hear a song about “Chicken Fried” steak.

The Full 2010 Grammy Jokes Archive

11. Album of the Year: Why Fearless? Because Taylor Swift made “crying on your guitar” the most successful business model in America.
12. Record of the Year: Why “Use Somebody”? Because it’s the official anthem of every person who has ever been lonely in a cool way.
13. Song of the Year: Why “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)”? Because it’s the most aggressive (and catchy) engagement advice ever written.
14. Best New Artist: Why Zac Brown Band? Because the Grammys love a guy in a beanie who knows his way around a barbecue.
15. Best Rock Album: Why 21st Century Breakdown? Because Green Day is the only band that can release a three-act rock opera and make it a radio hit.
16. Best Rock Song: Why “Use Somebody”? Because the Grammys decided that one win for that song just wasn’t enough.
17. Best Alternative Music Album: Why Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix? Because French indie-pop is the “fancy cheese” of the Grammy categories.
18. Best Hard Rock Performance: Why “War Machine” by AC/DC? To prove that as long as Angus Young wears schoolboy shorts, AC/DC will win awards.
19. Best Metal Performance: Why “Dissident Aggressor” by Judas Priest? Because the Grammys finally realized that Rob Halford can hit notes that would shatter a diamond.
20. Best R&B Album: Why Blacksummers’night? Because Maxwell made us wait eight years, and the Grammys wanted to reward his patience (and our ears).
21. Best Female R&B Vocal: Why “Single Ladies”? (Beyoncé again. She basically lived on the stage that night).
22. Best Male R&B Vocal: Why “Pretty Wings”? Because Maxwell’s falsetto is the musical equivalent of silk sheets.
23. Best Contemporary R&B Album: Why I Am… Sasha Fierce? Because one Beyoncé is great, but two Beyoncés in one album is a Grammy sweep.
24. Best Rap Album: Why Relapse? Because Eminem came back and reminded everyone that he’s still the most lyrical person to ever use a rhyming dictionary.
25. Best Rap Solo Performance: Why “D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune)”? Because Jay-Z told everyone to stop using the robot voice, and the Grammys agreed (for about five minutes).
26. Best Rap Performance by a Duo or Group: Why “Crack a Bottle”? Because Dr. Dre, Eminem, and 50 Cent together are the Rap version of the Avengers.
27. Best Rap Song: Why “Run This Town”? Because when Jay-Z, Rihanna, and Kanye are on a track, they actually do run the town.
28. Best Female Pop Vocal: Why “Halo”? Because Beyoncé’s voice is so powerful it probably has its own zip code.
29. Best Male Pop Vocal: Why “Make It Mine” by Jason Mraz? Because he’s the only man who can make a fedora and an acoustic guitar sound like pure sunshine.
30. Best Pop Collaboration: Why “Lucky”? Because Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat were the “sweetest” thing in 2010—almost too sweet for diabetics.
31. Best Pop Vocal Album: Why The E.N.D.? Because the Black Eyed Peas proved that “Energy Never Dies” (and neither do their hooks).
32. Best Dance Recording: Why “Poker Face”? Because Lady Gaga made us all dance to a song about card games and hidden meanings.
33. Best Electronic/Dance Album: Why The Fame? Because Lady Gaga wasn’t just famous; she was “Grammy-winning” famous.
34. Best Country Album: Why Fearless? Because Taylor Swift officially moved the center of the country world to her bedroom floor.
35. Best Female Country Vocal: Why “White Horse”? Because Taylor Swift reminded us that real life isn’t a fairytale, but winning a Grammy is.
36. Best Male Country Vocal: Why “Sweet Thing” by Keith Urban? Because he’s the only guy who can make “sweet” sound “rock and roll.”
37. Best Comedy Album: Why A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All!? Because Stephen Colbert winning a Grammy is the greatest gift of all.
38. The 2010 Final Grammy Vibe: Why was it iconic? Because it was the night the “Queen” (Beyoncé) and the “Princess” (Taylor) divided the world between them, Lady Gaga brought the “Space Oddity,” and we all realized that the new decade was going to be dominated by powerful women with even more powerful voices.