37 Grammy Jokes: The 2013 “Babel, Bow Ties & Somebody We Used to Know” Edition

In 2013, the 55th Grammy Awards were a mix of old-school acoustic vibes and futuristic pop. It was the night the “Indie-Folk” boom reached its peak, Justin Timberlake returned to “Suit & Tie” style, and Taylor Swift opened the show by mocking her ex-boyfriend in a fake British accent.

The 2013 Red Carpet Top 10: “Sheer Fabric, Banjo Cases & Bow Ties”

1. Mumford’s Big Night: Why did Babel win Album of the Year? Because the Academy decided that if you have enough banjos and wear enough tweed, you are legally entitled to the top prize.
2. The Gotye Phenomenon: Why did “Somebody That I Used to Know” win Record of the Year? Because in 2012, you couldn’t even buy a loaf of bread without hearing that xylophone intro at least twice.
3. Frank Ocean’s “Channel Orange”: Why was it so important? Because Frank Ocean proved that you can be quiet, mysterious, and vulnerable, and still make the loudest impact in the room.
4. The “Dress Code” Memo: Why was the carpet so… covered? Because CBS sent out a memo asking stars to avoid “exposed skin,” and everyone responded by seeing exactly how much sheer fabric they could get away with.
5. Kelly Clarkson’s Speech: Why was she the favorite? Because she accepted her award by telling Miguel she needed to “record a duet with him immediately” and admitted she was a bit tipsy, making her the most relatable person in the building.
6. Fun. is Not Just a Name: Why did they win Best New Artist? Because “We Are Young” was the official anthem for anyone who wanted to set the world on fire (but usually just set their microwave on fire).
7. Justin Timberlake’s Comeback: Why the “Suit & Tie”? Because after years of acting, JT wanted to remind us that he looks better in a tuxedo than anyone else on the planet.
8. Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Ever…”: Why the British accent? Because Taylor loves a good “Easter egg,” and using a fake accent on stage was her way of telling Harry Styles that the relationship was officially “archived.”
9. The Black Keys’ Domination: Why did they win 3 Rock awards? Because Dan Auerbach and Patrick Carney proved that “Garage Rock” is best served with a side of Grammy gold.
10. The Bob Marley Tribute: Why was it so crowded? Because Bruno Mars, Rihanna, Sting, and Ziggy Marley on one stage is the closest thing to a musical “Avengers” team-up we got in 2013.

The Full 2013 Grammy Jokes Archive

11. Album of the Year: Why Babel? Because it’s the only album that makes you want to build a cabin and start a revolution at the same time.
12. Record of the Year: Why “Somebody That I Used to Know”? Because now he’s just somebody that we used to see winning Grammys.
13. Song of the Year: Why “We Are Young”? Because the Academy wanted to feel young for five minutes before going back to listening to Tony Bennett.
14. Best New Artist: Why Fun.? Because their name has a period at the end, which is exactly how much competition they had in 2013.
15. Best Rock Album: Why El Camino? Because The Black Keys proved that a van and a guitar are the only things you need to win.
16. Best Rock Song: Why “Lonely Boy”? Because that music video featured a guy dancing for 3 minutes, and the Academy found it more entertaining than most movies.
17. Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance: Why “Love Bites (So Do I)” by Halestorm? Because Lzzy Hale has a voice that can literally peel paint off a wall.
18. Best Alternative Music Album: Why Making Mirrors? Because Gotye looked in the mirror and saw three Grammys staring back.
19. Best R&B Album: Why Black Radio? Because Robert Glasper Experiment proved that Jazz, R&B, and Hip-Hop are actually just one big happy family.
20. Best Urban Contemporary Album: Why Channel Orange? Because Frank Ocean turned a color into a mood and a mood into a masterpiece.
21. Best Traditional R&B Performance: Why “Love on Top”? Because Beyoncé can do vocal modulations that should be physically impossible for a human.
22. Best Rap Album: Why Take Care? Because Drake made “crying in a Bentley” a legitimate sub-genre of Hip-Hop.
23. Best Rap Performance: Why “N****s in Paris”? Because Jay-Z and Kanye West proved that “provocative” music is even better when it’s recorded in France.
24. Best Rap/Sung Collaboration: Why “No Church in the Wild”? Because Frank Ocean, Jay-Z, and Kanye West are the holy trinity of 2013 cool.
25. Best Rap Song: Why “N****s in Paris”? Because it was so “Goin’ Gorillas” that the Academy couldn’t ignore it.
26. Best Pop Solo Performance: Why “Set Fire to the Rain” (Live)? Because Adele wins Grammys even when she’s just singing a song she already won for the year before.
27. Best Pop Duo/Group Performance: Why “Somebody That I Used to Know”? Because Gotye and Kimbra were the most artistic “exes” in history.
28. Best Pop Vocal Album: Why Stronger? Because what doesn’t kill Kelly Clarkson only makes her win more awards.
29. Best Dance Recording: Why “Bangarang”? Because Skrillex and Sirah proved that “shouting at a computer” can be very lucrative.
30. Best Dance/Electronic Album: Why Bangarang? (Skrillex again. He basically has the “wub-wub” market cornered).
31. Best Country Album: Why Uncaged? Because the Zac Brown Band is the only group that can make a jam-band vibe work in Nashville.
32. Best Country Solo Performance: Why “Blown Away”? Because Carrie Underwood’s voice is a literal natural disaster.
33. Best Reggae Album: Why Rebirth by Jimmy Cliff? Because a legend doesn’t need to “come back”—he just needs to show up.
34. Best Comedy Album: Why Tenacious D in Post-Apocalypto? No, it was Blow Your Head… wait, it was Jimmy Fallon! For proving that being a fanboy is a career.
35. Best Score Soundtrack: Why The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo? Because Trent Reznor makes “cold and industrial” sound “gold and shiny.”
36. Best Short Form Music Video: Why “We Found Love”? Because Rihanna and Calvin Harris made a 4-minute movie that felt more intense than most feature films.
37. The 2013 Final Grammy Vibe: Why was it a standout? Because it was the night the “Stomping Folk” (Mumford) met the “Abstract R&B” (Ocean), proving that in 2013, the Grammys were all about banjos, bow ties, and people we used to know.