40 Grammy Jokes: The 2020 “Bad Guy & The Eilish Takeover” Edition

In 2020, the 62nd Grammy Awards were a generational shift. Billie Eilish became the youngest artist ever to sweep the “Big Four,” Lizzo proved that being “100% that b*tch” is a Grammy-winning trait, and Lil Nas X brought “Old Town Road” to the stage with more guest stars than a Marvel movie.

The 2020 Red Carpet Top 10: “Neon Roots, Face Veils & Cowboy Hats”

1. Billie’s Big Sweep: Why did Billie Eilish win the Big Four? Because she and her brother Finneas proved that you don’t need a million-dollar studio—just a bed, a laptop, and a song about being a “Bad Guy.”
2. Ariana’s Cloud Dress: Why was Ariana Grande’s dress so huge? Because after the year she had, she needed enough tulle to act as a buffer between her and the rest of the world.
3. Billy Porter’s Remote Hat: Why did his hat have motorized curtains? Because in 2020, “privacy” meant being able to close a mechanical fringe over your face whenever a hater walked by.
4. Lizzo’s Confidence: Why was she the soul of the night? Because she showed up with eight nominations and enough flute-playing energy to remind everyone that “Juice” is the only thing we should be drinking.
5. Lil Nas X’s Pink Leather: Why was he a neon cowboy? Because he turned “Old Town Road” into a multi-platinum empire and wanted to make sure nobody missed him, even from a mile away.
6. Tyler, The Creator’s Bellhop Suit: Why did he carry a suitcase? Because he was ready to pack up his Best Rap Album trophy and leave the moment he called out the Academy for the “Urban” category label.
7. The Jonas Brothers’ Reunion: Why were they back? To prove that “Happiness Begins” when you stop being a boy band and start being a group of guys who actually like each other again.
8. Usher’s Prince Tribute: Why the ruffles? Because nobody can replace the Purple One, but Usher in a sparkly jacket is a pretty good way to spend five minutes of a telecast.
9. Camila Cabello’s Dad: Why did everyone cry? Because singing “First Man” to her father in the front row was the only thing more emotional than Billie Eilish’s speech.
10. The Kobe Tribute: Why was it so heavy? Because the world lost a legend that morning, and seeing his jerseys hanging in the rafters while Boyz II Men sang made the Grammys feel like a family wake.

The Full 2020 Grammy Jokes Archive

11. Album of the Year: Why When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?? Because Billie Eilish’s nightmares are apparently much more profitable than everyone else’s dreams.
12. Record of the Year: Why “Bad Guy”? Because it’s the only song in history where a “Duh!” is worth more than a master’s degree in music theory.
13. Song of the Year: Why “Bad Guy”? Because the Academy realized that whispering is the new screaming.
14. Best New Artist: Why Billie Eilish? (See: Every other category. She basically owned the title deeds to the Staples Center that night).
15. Best Rock Album: Why Social Cues? Because Cage the Elephant proved that being socially anxious can still be very loud and very successful.
16. Best Rock Song: Why “This Land” by Gary Clark Jr.? Because he reminded everyone that the blues can still be a protest, a prayer, and a powerhouse riff.
17. Best Alternative Music Album: Why Father of the Bride? Because Vampire Weekend made an album so long and sunny it felt like a three-day outdoor wedding in July.
18. Best Metal Performance: Why “7empest” by Tool? Because the Grammys love a 15-minute song that feels like a spiritual journey through a thunderstorm.
19. Best R&B Album: Why Ventura? Because Anderson .Paak is the only man who can drum, sing, and smile like a movie star all at the same time.
20. Best Urban Contemporary Album: Why Cuz I Love You? Because Lizzo’s voice has enough power to light up a stadium for a year.
21. Best R&B Song: Why “Say So”? No, it was “Say Somethin'”? Wait, it was “Say So” by PJ Morton! For proving that classic soul never goes out of style.
22. Best Rap Album: Why IGOR? Because Tyler, The Creator made a “pop” album that was so weird the Academy had to give it a “Rap” award just to be safe.
23. Best Rap Performance: Why “Higher”? Because Nipsey Hussle’s legacy was the most important thing in the room.
24. Best Rap/Sung Collaboration: Why “Higher”? (The tribute to Nipsey continued, showing that “The Marathon” truly never ends).
25. Best Rap Song: Why “A Lot”? Because 21 Savage and J. Cole proved that you can have a hit and a message at the same time.
26. Best Pop Solo Performance: Why “Truth Hurts”? Because Lizzo took a DNA test and found out she’s 100% a Grammy winner.
27. Best Pop Duo/Group Performance: Why “Old Town Road”? Because Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus are the duo that literally saved the year 2019.
28. Best Pop Vocal Album: Why When We All Fall Asleep…? (Billie again. She was the one “Bad Guy” the Academy couldn’t stop loving).
29. Best Dance Recording: Why “Got to Keep On”? Because The Chemical Brothers have been making us dance since the 90s and they aren’t stopping now.
30. Best Dance/Electronic Album: Why No Geography? Because good beats don’t need a passport.
31. Best Country Album: Why While I’m Livin’? Because Tanya Tucker proved that being a legend is a marathon, not a sprint.
32. Best Country Solo Performance: Why “Ride Me Back Home”? Because Willie Nelson is the only person allowed to win a Grammy for singing about a horse.
33. Best Reggae Album: Why Rapture by Koffee? Because she became the youngest person and first woman to win the category, proving that the future of Reggae is in good hands.
34. Best Comedy Album: Why Sticks & Stones? Because Dave Chappelle is still the only person who can cause a controversy and win a Grammy in the same sentence.
35. Best Score Soundtrack: Why Chernobyl? Because Hildur Guðnadóttir made “nuclear disaster” sound hauntingly beautiful.
36. Best Compilation Soundtrack: Why A Star Is Born? Because “Shallow” was still stuck in everyone’s head 18 months later.
37. Best Song Written for Visual Media: Why “I’ll Never Love Again”? Because Lady Gaga can make you cry even during the end credits.
38. Best Music Video: Why “Old Town Road”? Because it was a 5-minute movie featuring a horse, a time-traveling cowboy, and a whole lot of “ye haw.”
39. Best Producer of the Year: Why Finneas? Because he proved that your sister’s bedroom is the most important recording studio in the world.
40. The 2020 Final Grammy Vibe: Why was it a legend? Because it was the night the “Whispering Teen” (Billie) conquered the world, the “Flute Queen” (Lizzo) brought the joy, and the “Yee-Haw” (Lil Nas X) officially broke the internet for the last time before the world went into lockdown.