38 Grammy Jokes: The 2012 “Rolling in the Deep & The Adele Sweep” Edition

In 2012, the 54th Grammy Awards were effectively an “Adele appreciation ceremony” with a few musical interludes. It was the night the Foo Fighters defended the honor of “real instruments,” Skrillex brought dubstep to the front row, and Nicki Minaj turned the stage into a Vatican-themed exorcism.

The 2012 Red Carpet Top 10: “Veils, Vows & Vintage Glamour”

1. Adele’s 6-for-6: Why did she win everything? Because after the world spent all of 2011 crying to 21, the Academy decided the only way to stop the tears was to give her every gold trophy in the building.
2. Nicki Minaj’s Pope: Why did she arrive with a fake Pope? Because she wanted to make sure her performance of “Roman Holiday” was blessed, even if the Catholic League was definitely not “feeling the vibe.”
3. The Whitney Tribute: Why was it so quiet? Because the world had just lost Whitney Houston 24 hours earlier, and Jennifer Hudson’s “I Will Always Love You” was the only thing capable of holding the room together.
4. Bon Iver’s “Who?”: Why was Twitter confused? Because Justin Vernon won Best New Artist, and millions of people suddenly realized they didn’t know how to pronounce “Bon Iver” or where the “Suburbs” he came from were.
5. Skrillex’s Haircut: Why was he the talk of the night? Because he won three awards and proved that you can conquer the music world with one side of your head shaved and a laptop full of “wub-wub.”
6. The Beach Boys’ 50th: Why were they back? To remind us that “Good Vibrations” are timeless, even if the surfboards are now mostly used for decorative purposes.
7. Lady Gaga’s Net Veil: Why was she incognito? After arriving in an egg the year before, she decided that wearing a black mesh cage over her face was the only way to have a “low-key” night.
8. Katy Perry’s Blue Hair: Why was it so bright? To match her “Part of Me” attitude and to remind us that she was still the queen of the candy-coated pop universe.
9. The Foo Fighters vs. EDM: Why did Dave Grohl give that speech? Because he wanted to remind everyone that “the human element” is important, even while Skrillex was standing five feet away holding three trophies.
10. Taylor Swift’s Banjo: Why did she perform “Mean”? Because it was the most melodic way to tell her critics that she was currently sitting on a pile of Grammys while they were just… being mean.

The Full 2012 Grammy Jokes Archive

11. Album of the Year: Why 21? Because it’s the only album that is 100% scientifically proven to make you text your ex.
12. Record of the Year: Why “Rolling in the Deep”? Because Adele’s voice has enough power to jumpstart a dead car battery.
13. Song of the Year: Why “Rolling in the Deep”? Because “we could have had it all” is the official slogan of everyone who lost to Adele that night.
14. Best New Artist: Why Bon Iver? To prove that “Indie Folk” isn’t just for cabins in the woods; it’s also for taking trophies away from rappers.
15. Best Rock Album: Why Wasting Light? Because the Foo Fighters recorded it in a garage, proving that you don’t need a million-dollar studio to win five Grammys.
16. Best Rock Song: Why “Walk”? Because Dave Grohl is the only man who can make “learning to walk again” sound like a stadium anthem.
17. Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance: Why “White Limo”? Because the music video featured Lemmy from Motörhead, and that’s an automatic win in the eyes of the gods of rock.
18. Best Alternative Music Album: Why Bon Iver, Bon Iver? Because the Academy finally learned how to spell his name.
19. Best R&B Album: Why F.A.M.E.? Because the Grammys decided that Chris Brown’s comeback was officially “complete,” much to the internet’s disapproval.
20. Best R&B Song: Why “Fool for You”? Because CeeLo Green and Melanie Fiona brought the 60s soul back to the 21st century.
21. Best Rap Album: Why My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy? Because Kanye West made a masterpiece so big that the Academy couldn’t even ignore it during a “safe” year.
22. Best Rap Solo Performance: Why “Otis”? Because Jay-Z and Kanye sampling Otis Redding is like a billionaire buying a vintage Ferrari—it’s just a flex.
23. Best Rap/Sung Collaboration: Why “All of the Lights”? Because the song had 11 famous singers on it, and the Grammys love a crowded stage.
24. Best Rap Song: Why “Otis”? Because the throne was occupied, and they weren’t moving.
25. Best Pop Solo Performance: Why “Someone Like You”? Because Adele proved that a single piano and a broken heart is the most expensive weapon in music.
26. Best Pop Duo/Group Performance: Why “Body and Soul”? Because Amy Winehouse and Tony Bennett together was a bittersweet reminder of a talent lost too soon.
27. Best Pop Vocal Album: Why 21? (See: Joke #11. Adele was the only person in this category, according to the voters).
28. Best Dance Recording: Why “Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites”? Because the Grammys finally learned what “the drop” was.
29. Best Dance/Electronic Album: Why Skrillex? Because he made “noise” sound like “gold.”
30. Best Country Album: Why Own the Night? Because Lady Antebellum (Lady A) owned the night, the morning, and the afternoon.
31. Best Country Solo Performance: Why “Mean”? Because Taylor Swift is the only person who can win an award for being bullied.
32. Best Reggae Album: Why Revelation Pt 1: The Root of Life? Because Stephen Marley is keeping the family tradition of “winning every Reggae Grammy” alive.
33. Best Comedy Album: Why Hilarious by Louis C.K.? Because the title was accurate, even if the future was… complicated.
34. Best Spoken Word Album: Why Betty White? Because she’s a national treasure and she probably could have won Best Rap Album if she tried.
35. Best Musical Theater Album: Why The Book of Mormon? Because “Hello!”—it’s the funniest thing on Broadway.
36. Best Score Soundtrack: Why The King’s Speech? Because the Grammys love a movie where people talk their way to victory.
37. Best Short Form Music Video: Why “Rolling in the Deep”? Because watching things break in slow motion is the perfect metaphor for Adele’s lyrics.
38. The 2012 Final Grammy Vibe: Why was it a classic? Because it was the night the “British Soul” (Adele) conquered the world, “Dubstep” (Skrillex) crashed the party, and we all realized that no matter how many gadgets we have, we still just want to hear a woman sing about her ex-boyfriend.