36 Halloween Jokes: The 2004 “Mean Girls & Motorola RAZR” Edition

In 2004, Halloween was “so fetch.” It was the year we learned that on Wednesdays we wear pink, but on Halloween, we wear whatever makes us look like a backup dancer from a music video. It was a year of massive sequels, social media births, and a lot of “yeah!” (thanks to Usher).

The 2004 Top 10: “Burn Books & Super Suits”

1. Mean Girls: Why were there so many girls in mouse ears? Because “I’m a mouse, duh!”—and because 2004 taught us that Halloween is the one night a year when you can dress like a total Regina George and get away with it.
2. The Incredibles: Why was the 2004 Halloween party so safe? Because every family was wearing red spandex, and the dads were all shouting “Where is my super suit?!” at their confused wives.
3. Shrek 2: Why was the cat so handsome? Because Puss in Boots stole the show with his big eyes, making everyone realize that “fear me, if you dare” is much easier when you’re adorable.
4. The Facebook (Launch): How did people share their 2004 Halloween photos? They didn’t—unless they went to Harvard and had a “TheFacebook” profile to poke their friends.
5. Motorola RAZR: What was the ultimate “treat” of 2004? Opening a silver flip-phone with a satisfying click and realizing you were officially the coolest person in the graveyard.
6. Spider-Man 2: Why was the 2004 vampire so depressed? Because he watched Doc Ock and Peter Parker fight on a train and realized his “turning into a bat” trick was getting a bit outdated.
7. Usher – “Yeah!”: Why was every haunted house vibrating? Because Lil Jon was shouting “OKAY!” and “WHAT?!” from every speaker, and everyone was doing the 2004 “A-Town Stomp.”
8. Lost (The Debut): Why were the trick-or-treaters just sitting on the beach? Because they crashed their plane, found a mysterious hatch, and were too busy arguing about “The Others” to collect candy.
9. Napoleon Dynamite: Why were there so many kids in “Vote for Pedro” shirts? Because they spent the whole night doing “sweet jumps” on their bikes and practicing their 12-minute dance routines.
10. The Nintendo DS: Why did the ghosts have two screens? Because Nintendo decided that one screen wasn’t enough to haunt you, and you needed a stylus to “touch” the paranormal.

The Full 2004 Halloween Jokes Archive

11. The Passion of the Christ: Why was the party mood so heavy? Because the biggest movie of the spring was a religious epic, and everyone was feeling a little guilty about their third bag of Skittles.
12. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas: Why were the monsters riding BMX bikes? Because “CJ” made Los Santos the place to be, and everyone was trying to increase their “Respect” stat by doing wheelies.
13. Anchorman: Why was the ghost so classy? “Stay classy, San Diego!”—because 60% of the time, his Ron Burgundy costume worked every time.
14. Desperate Housewives: Why were the witches so gossipy? Because Wisteria Lane proved that the scariest things aren’t ghosts, but your neighbors’ secrets and a perfectly manicured lawn.
15. Saw: Why was the trick-or-treater so intense? “I want to play a game…”—usually involving a tricycle and a very difficult choice between a Snickers and his own freedom.
16. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Why was the 2004 wizard so emo? Because Alfonso Cuarón took over, the robes got grittier, and everyone was terrified of the Dementors (and their own teenage hormones).
17. Dodgeball: Why were the monsters throwing wrenches? Because “if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball”—and you can definitely dodge a boring costume.
18. The Notebook: Why was everyone crying in the rain? Because Ryan Gosling wrote 365 letters, and every girl in 2004 was waiting for a ghost to build them a house with blue shutters.
19. Green Day – “American Idiot”: Why was the witch so punk rock? Because the “Holiday” was on, and everyone was feeling a little rebellious against the “suburban nightmare.”
20. Catwoman: Why was the cat costume so… leather-heavy? Because Halle Berry tried her best, but the only thing scarier than the villain was the movie’s Rotten Tomatoes score.
21. The Day After Tomorrow: Why was the haunted house so cold? Because global warming happened in about fifteen minutes, and everyone was running from a giant wave of CGI ice.
22. Britney Spears – “Toxic”: Why was the flight attendant costume so popular? Because Britney’s blue uniform and diamond bodysuit were the “high-altitude” fashion peak of 2004.
23. Kill Bill: Vol. 2: Why was the bride so tired? Because she finally finished her list, escaped a coffin, and realized that “Pai Mei” was a much tougher teacher than any high school principal.
24. World of Warcraft (Launch Hype): Why were the monsters missing from the party? Because they were all busy choosing between the Alliance and the Horde and preparing to lose the next ten years of their lives.
25. The Village: Why were the monsters wearing yellow cloaks? Because M. Night Shyamalan told us that “those we do not speak of” are afraid of the color red, but they love a good plot twist.
26. National Treasure: Why was Nicolas Cage stealing the Declaration of Independence? Because there was a map on the back that led to the “Good Candy” hidden in the basement of the White House.
27. The O.C.: Why were the teenagers so dramatic? “Welcome to the O.C., bitch!”—where the sun is always shining, and the indie-rock soundtrack is always sad.
28. Hellboy: Why was the big red guy filing his horns? Because Ron Perlman made “grumpy demon” a relatable mood for anyone who had to work on Halloween night.
29. White Chicks: Why did the two FBI agents look like blonde heiresses? Because the Wayans brothers proved that “making your way downtown, walking fast” is the best way to go undercover.
30. Van Helsing: Why was Hugh Jackman so busy? Because he had to fight Dracula, the Wolfman, and Frankenstein’s monster all in one movie, and he still had time to maintain his hair extensions.
31. The “Ashlee Simpson” Hoedown: Why was the ghost doing a jig? Because he got caught lip-syncing on SNL and had to “dance his way” out of the embarrassment.
32. Jersey Shore (The Origins): Why was the vampire so orange? Because 2004 was the peak of the “spray tan,” making the undead look more like pumpkins than people.
33. The Polar Express: Why did the kids look like they were made of plastic? Because “performance capture” was the new trend, and everyone had that slightly terrifying “uncanny valley” stare.
34. Gwen Stefani – “Hollaback Girl” (Recording): Why was the witch spelling out “B-A-N-A-N-A-S”? Because it was a few months away from being the most annoying and catchy song on the planet.
35. The Doom 3 Release: Why was the flashlight so weak? Because id Software wanted us to be terrified of the dark, and we spent the whole night screaming at our Pentium 4 computers.
36. The Final 2004 Vibe: Why was it a “Fetch” Halloween? Because it was the last year before YouTube, when you actually had to wait for the “VH1 Big in ’04” special to see what was cool.