31 Miscellaneous Jokes: The 2020 “Quarantine & Zoom-Call” Edition

In 2020, reality officially broke. It was the year we all stayed home to save the world, washed our groceries with bleach, and spent our Friday nights in virtual happy hours that were 90% “Can you hear me now?” and 10% awkward silence. We watched a man with a mullet fight a woman named Carole Baskin, realized that toilet paper was the most valuable currency on Earth, and finally understood that “essential workers” are the only reason society functions. It was the year of the “New Normal,” where the highlight of the week was a walk to the mailbox.

The 2020 Top 10: The “Lockdown & Tiger King” Classics

1. The Great Toilet Paper Shortage: Why were we all hoarding rolls? Because 2020 taught us that when the world ends, our biggest fear isn’t aliens or asteroids—it’s having to use a CVS receipt as a substitute for 2-ply.
2. Tiger King Mania: Why were we all obsessed with Joe Exotic? Because we were locked in our houses with nothing to do, and watching a chaotic polyamorous tiger breeder accuse Carole Baskin of murder was the only thing that made our own lives feel stable.
3. The Rise of Zoom: Why did we all have “Zoom fatigue”? Because we spent eight hours a day staring at our own foreheads in a tiny box, praying that no one would notice we weren’t wearing pants while discussing the Q3 projections.
4. Animal Crossing: New Horizons: Why was everyone on an island? Because since we couldn’t go outside in real life, we all decided to move to a digital paradise to pay off a mortgage to a raccoon and catch sea bass for 14 hours a day.
5. The Launch of PlayStation 5 & Xbox Series X: Why were they so hard to find? Because 2020 was the year of the “Scalper,” and trying to buy a console was like trying to find a golden ticket in a factory made of disappointment and bots.
6. The “Murder Hornets”: Why were there giant wasps? Because 2020 decided that a global pandemic wasn’t enough “main character energy,” so it added 2-inch stinging insects to the plot just to see if we were still paying attention.
7. Among Us Explosion: Why was everyone “sus”? Because a two-year-old game about colorful beans betraying each other on a spaceship became the ultimate way to lose friends and yell at your siblings from across the house.
8. The sourdough Bread Phase: Why was everyone a baker? Because we all reached the point of boredom where we decided that keeping a jar of fermented flour alive was a substitute for a social life.
9. The Monolith Mystery: Why were there metal poles in the desert? Because 2012’s “End of the World” was late, and for a few weeks in 2020, we all thought the aliens had finally arrived to leave us some minimalist decor in Utah.
10. The “Everything is Cake” Trend: Why was the shoe a red velvet? Because the internet became so paranoid that we started cutting everything with a knife just to make sure our reality wasn’t actually just a very realistic dessert.

The Full 2020 Miscellaneous Jokes Archive

11. Parasite’s Oscar Win: Why was it historic? Because a movie about a basement won Best Picture in the year everyone was stuck in their own basements, proving that Bong Joon-ho is a prophet.
12. The Launch of Disney+ in Europe: Why were we so happy? Because The Mandalorian finally arrived just in time to give us something to watch other than the ceiling.
13. Fall Guys: Why were the beans falling? Because 2020 needed a game where 60 people could fail at an obstacle course together, proving that life is just one big “Slime Climb.”
14. The Last Dance: Why was Michael Jordan so competitive? Because ESPN gave us ten hours of 90s nostalgia to remind us that MJ would take a global quarantine “personally.”
15. The “Dolly Parton Challenge”: Why did we have four faces? Because 2020 was the year we realized that our LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, and Tinder versions of ourselves were all equally bored at home.
16. The Launch of the iPhone 12 (No Charger): Why was the box so thin? Because Apple decided that “environmentalism” meant we should all use our old chargers from 2015 while paying 2020 prices.
17. Tenet Premiere: Why were we wearing masks in the theater? Because Christopher Nolan wanted to save cinema with a movie that was so loud and confusing we couldn’t hear the plot or understand time travel.
18. The “Nathan Apodaca” Cranberry Juice Video: Why was he longboarding? Because 2020 was a vibe, and a man drinking juice while listening to Fleetwood Mac was the only bit of peace we had all year.
19. The Launch of Quibi: Why did it die in six months? Because 2020 was the year we learned that no one wants “quick bites” of TV when they have 24 hours of free time every single day.
20. The Weeknd’s “Blinding Lights”: Why was he wearing a red suit? Because that song played so many times it became the official soundtrack of the entire year, from TikTok dances to car commercials.
21. The Ghost of Tsushima: Why was the wind blowing? Because Sucker Punch gave us a beautiful samurai epic that allowed us to travel through Japan while we were actually sitting on a couch in Ohio.
22. The “Nature is Healing” Meme: Why were the dolphins in Venice? Because 2020 was the year we realized that if humans stay inside for two weeks, the Earth starts acting like we never existed.
23. The Launch of HBO Max: Why another one? Because AT&T decided that we needed another purple app to find Friends and Harry Potter, making our TV menus look like a digital library of confusion.
24. The Queen’s Gambit: Why was everyone buying chess sets? Because Anya Taylor-Joy made “staring at the ceiling while moving imaginary pieces” look like the coolest thing a person could do.
25. The “I’m a Lawyer, Not a Cat” (Early 2021 energy, but born in 2020 tech): Why was the judge a feline? Because 2020 was the year we all lived in fear of accidentally turning on a filter during a professional meeting.
26. The Launch of SpaceX Crew Dragon: Why were we leaving? Because for the first time in a decade, America sent astronauts to the ISS from US soil, and honestly, they chose a great year to get off the planet.
27. The “WAP” Controversy: Why were the news anchors so upset? Because Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion released a song that made the internet melt and Ben Shapiro read lyrics with the enthusiasm of a man reading a grocery list.
28. Cyberpunk 2077 Launch: Why were the trees glitching? Because after 8 years of waiting, the game arrived with enough bugs to make us realize that “the future” was actually just a T-posing NPC.
29. The Launch of the “M1” Mac: Why was the laptop so quiet? Because Apple finally ditched Intel and made a chip so fast that it didn’t even need a fan to tell us we were still on a Zoom call.
30. Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Why was he back? Because 2020 was so “Wa wa wee wa” that Sacha Baron Cohen had to return to show us that reality was even weirder than his character.
31. New Year’s Eve 2020: Why was the party so small? Because we all just wanted to kick 2020 out of the house and hope that 2021 would be at least 10% less “unprecedented.”