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Home » The Fourth of July Joke Archive: 1995–2025 » 2019 Legacy: The John Wick 3 Pencils

2019 Legacy: The John Wick 3 Pencils

Why was everyone afraid of the stationery? Because Keanu Reeves proved that “Independence” means nobody touches his dog.

Part of the 38 Fourth of July Jokes: The 2019 “Endgame & Area 51” Edition archive. Historically Verified

🔥 Top 10: The Fourth of July Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2025 Classic: The Fantastic Four Launch
Why was the BBQ so "Marvelous"? Because Pedro Pascal finally brou...read more »
2025 Archive: The Minecraft Movie Reactions
Why were the fireworks square? Because the Jack Black movie made ...read more »
39 Fourth of July Jokes: The 2006 “High School Musical & Hot Styles” Edition
In 2006, Independence Day was "Very Nice!" (in our best Borat voi...read more »
2025 Legacy: The Ballerina (John Wick Spin-off)
Why was the 4th so "Gracefully Violent"? Because Ana de Armas pro...read more »
2025 Archive: The "Neural-Playlist"
Why was the music so perfect? Because the speaker was connected t...read more »
2025 Vintage: The "Deep-Fake" History
Why did the Declaration of Independence sound like it was read by...read more »
41 Fourth of July Jokes: The 1999 “Party Like It’s...” Edition
In 1999, Independence Day felt like the ultimate "Pre-Game" for t...read more »
2024 Classic: The "Fortnight" Taylor & Post Malone
Why did the 4th last two weeks? Because Taylor Swift’s lead singl...read more »
2024 Legacy: The Twisters Reboot
Why were we watching the clouds? Because Glenn Powell made storm-...read more »
2024 Classic: The Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (Teasers)
Why was the 4th so "Spooky"? Because Michael Keaton was coming ba...read more »

😜 More from category: The Fourth of July Joke Archive: 1995–2025

2025 Classic: The "Post-Social" Era
Why was the BBQ so quiet? Because everyone was "Deep-Posting"—sen...read more »
32 Fourth of July Jokes: The 2007 “iPhone & Umbrella” Edition
In 2007, Independence Day was the start of the "Touchscreen Era."...read more »
2024 Archive: The Gladiator II (Teasers)
Why were the Dads acting "Imperial"? Because Paul Mescal was abou...read more »
2025 Legacy: The "Self-Driving" Lawn Chairs
Why were the guests moving around? Because the chairs were progra...read more »

⏳ Time Capsule: This is how we rolled in the first two decades of the internet

@Forrest_Gump_8801/14/2005 20:33Internet is like a box of chocolates...
@Binary_Boy10/06/2006 12:2401001000 01000001 (HA!).
@Firewire_Fan04/07/1995 12:20Transferring laughs at high speeds.
@Snatch_Mickey02/26/2002 18:31Do ya like dags? And jokes?
@Daria_Morg01/11/1996 10:11My goal is to not smile. I failed. This is funny.
@Sailor_Moon_Cry03/10/2001 04:16In the name of the moon, I will make you laugh!
@Shagadelic_9701/22/1995 01:24This joke is very shagadelic, man!
@Baxter_The_Dog02/15/1996 20:21Bark! (He says it’s funny).
@Ring_Member_9811/01/2006 12:51Part of the "Funny Sites" WebRing.
@Newgrounds_User11/22/1997 20:44Everything, by everyone! Especially laughs!

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