2019 Classic: The “Goldfinch” Failure
Why was it hit? For taking a Pulitzer-winning book and turning it into a movie that felt like a very long, very boring antique show.… Read More »2019 Classic: The “Goldfinch” Failure
2018 Classic: Cardi B’s Arrival
Why was “Bodak Yellow” the talk of the night? Because Cardi B proved that you can go from reality TV to the front row of… Read More »2018 Classic: Cardi B’s Arrival
2018 Classic: Hereditary Tongue Click
Why was everyone terrified of 13-year-old girls? Because Toni Collette gave a performance so traumatizing that every mother in the audience decided to never, ever… Read More »2018 Classic: Hereditary Tongue Click
2018 Vintage: The Link
I’m “sharing” my livestream. Part of the 126 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Snap & Battle Royale Edition (2018) archive. Historically Verified
2018 Vintage: The iPhone XR “Colors”
Why did the boss get the yellow one? To match his high-visibility vest and his “cautionary” management style. Part of the 71 Office Groaners: The… Read More »2018 Vintage: The iPhone XR “Colors”
2018 Classic: The Alexa Diagnosis
I sneezed in my living room, and Alexa said, “I’ve added tissues and a funeral plan to your shopping list.” My doctor said, “She’s a… Read More »2018 Classic: The Alexa Diagnosis
2017 Legacy: Best Alternative Music Album
Why Blackstar? Because Bowie didn’t just make an album; he made a disappearing act that left us all with a masterpiece. Part of the 35… Read More »2017 Legacy: Best Alternative Music Album
2016 Archive: The Leonardo DiCaprio
A guy walks in and starts crying with joy while holding a beer. The bartender asks, “What happened?” The guy says, “If Leo can finally… Read More »2016 Archive: The Leonardo DiCaprio
2016 Legacy: The Metal
I’m “hardened” by the grind. Part of the 130 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Pokémon GO & Bottle Flip Edition (2016) archive. Historically Verified
2015 Archive: The Home
I’m “pressing” the button to go back to the start. Part of the 115 Classic Punny One-Liners: The Dress & The Force Edition (2015) archive.… Read More »2015 Archive: The Home