42 Musician & Rock Star Jokes: The 2017 “Humble, Despacito & The SoundCloud Rap Invasion” Edition

In 2017, the music industry became a global village with a very catchy rhythm. A Spanish-language track broke every record on the books, Kendrick Lamar taught us all to „sit down and be humble,” and a new generation of rappers with colorful hair and face tattoos took over the internet. It was the year of the „Fidget Spinner” and the moment we realized that Ed Sheeran’s „Shape of You” was going to be played in every mall until the heat death of the universe.

The 2017 Soundboard Top 10: “Despacito, Humble & The Divide”

1. The “Despacito” Fever: Why was everyone suddenly a Spanish expert? Because Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee (with a little help from Bieber) created a song so massive it hit 3 billion views on YouTube, proving that you don’t need to know the lyrics to sing along at a BBQ.
2. The Kendrick Lamar “DAMN.” Era: Why the Pulitzer Prize? Because Kendrick released an album so deep it made every other rapper look like they were still in kindergarten, proving that „DNA.” was the official anthem of 2017.
3. The Ed Sheeran “Divide” Domination: Why the blue cover? Because Ed released „Shape of You” and „Castle on the Hill” on the same day and proceeded to own the top 10 of the UK charts for what felt like an entire century.
4. The Cardi B “Bodak Yellow” Arrival: Why the red bottoms? Because a girl from the Bronx proved that you could go from reality TV to the first solo female rap #1 in 19 years just by having more energy than everyone else.
5. The Taylor Swift “Reputation” Rebrand: Why the snake? Because the „Old Taylor” was dead, and she returned with a dark, synth-heavy album to tell everyone exactly what she thought of the drama.
6. The Lorde “Melodrama” Return: Why the house party? Because Lorde proved that being 20 years old and heartbroken could sound like a high-concept art masterpiece, giving us the perfect soundtrack for a lonely dance floor.
7. The Post Malone “Beerbongs & Bentleys” Rise: Why the “rockstar” vibe? For the man who proved that mixing grunge melodies with trap beats was the secret formula for becoming the most-streamed artist on the planet.
8. The SoundCloud Rap Explosion: Why the face tattoos? Because Lil Pump, XXXTentacion, and Lil Uzi Vert proved that you didn’t need a label—just a distorted beat and a very bright hairstyle to reach the top 10.
9. The Dua Lipa “New Rules”: Why the girl squad? For the song that gave every person in 2017 a checklist on how to handle their ex, effectively becoming the manual for modern dating.
10. The Calvin Harris “Funk Wav Bounces Vol. 1”: Why the 80s sunshine? Because the EDM king ditched the big drops for a bass guitar and a Hawaiian shirt, giving us the ultimate summer soundtrack.

The Full 2017 Musician & Rock Star Archive

11. The Jay-Z “4:44”: Why the apology? For the legend being honest about his mistakes and proving that “grown-up rap” could be just as compelling as the club hits.
12. The Harry Styles Debut: Why the “Sign of the Times”? For the One Direction star going full 70s rock-god and proving he was much more than just a boyband member.
13. The SZA “Ctrl”: Why the pile of computers? For the album that became the relatable bible for every 20-something trying to figure out their life and relationships.
14. The Foo Fighters “Concrete and Gold”: Why the pop producer? For Dave Grohl hiring Greg Kurstin to prove the band could sound as polished as Adele but as heavy as Motörhead.
15. The Logic “1-800-273-8255”: Why the phone number? For the song that proved music could literally save lives while staying at the top of the charts.
16. The St. Vincent “MASSEDUCTION”: Why the neon latex? For Annie Clark proving she was the most stylish and subversive guitar player in the world of pop.
17. The Migos “Culture”: Why “Bad and Boujee”? For the trio that officially made the “triplet flow” the only way anyone was allowed to rap in 2017.
18. The Queens of the Stone Age “Villains”: Why the Mark Ronson production? For the band making a rock record you could actually dance to without losing your cool.
19. The Sam Smith “The Thrill of It All”: Why the soul? For the man with the voice that made every heartbreak feel like a cinematic event.
20. The Lil Uzi Vert “XO Tour Llif3”: Why the “all my friends are dead” line? For the emo-trap anthem that every kid was screaming at festivals all summer.
21. The Tyler, The Creator “Flower Boy”: Why the bees? For the moment Tyler ditched the shock-rap for beautiful, soulful production and raw honesty.
22. The Kesha “Rainbow”: Why the comeback? For the powerful return of a star who proved she was much more than “glitter and Jack Daniels” with the soaring “Praying.”
23. The LCD Soundsystem “American Dream”: Why the return? For James Murphy proving that his “retirement” was just a long nap before making a #1 synth-rock masterpiece.
24. The Imagine Dragons “Evolve”: Why the “Believer” riff? For the band continuing their mission to be played in every sports montage and commercial on Earth.
25. The Gorillaz “Humanz”: Why the 26 guests? For Damon Albarn throwing a star-studded party for the end of the world.
26. The Father John Misty “Pure Comedy”: Why the 13-minute songs? For the man who decided to explain why the entire human race is a joke, set to beautiful folk music.
27. The Lana Del Rey “Lust for Life”: Why the smile? For Lana finally looking happy on her cover while collaborating with The Weeknd and Stevie Nicks.
28. The Linkin Park “One More Light”: Why the pop sound? For the band’s final album with Chester Bennington, a polarising record that gained a tragic new meaning after July.
29. The Paramore “After Laughter”: Why the 80s synths? For the band making the most upbeat-sounding album about having a complete mental breakdown.
30. The Thundercat “Drunk”: Why the cat? For the bass genius who made a jazz-funk album about losing your wallet and playing video games.
31. The National “Sleep Well Beast”: Why the blue mood? For the band proving they were the undisputed kings of “dad-rock for people who drink expensive wine.”
32. The Arcade Fire “Everything Now”: Why the fake corporation? For the band going full disco-satire and confusing half their fanbase in the process.
33. The Khalid “American Teen” Debut: Why the “Location”? For the 19-year-old who captured the sound of youth with nothing but a smooth voice and a phone.
34. The Liam Gallagher “As You Were” Solo: Why the parkas? For Liam proving he didn’t need Noel as long as he had his attitude and some classic rock riffs.
35. The Death of Tom Petty: Why the “Free Fallin” end? For the loss of the man who wrote the soundtrack to the American heartland, just days after his final tour ended.
36. The Death of Chester Bennington: Why the “Numb” silence? For the loss of a voice that defined the angst and hope of an entire generation of rock fans.
37. The Death of Chris Cornell: Why the “Black Hole Sun”? For the loss of one of the greatest voices in the history of rock, a man whose range was as big as his heart.
38. The Death of Lil Peep: Why the “Emo-Rap” tragedy? For the loss of a young visionary who was just beginning to bridge the gap between punk and hip-hop.
39. The Death of Chuck Berry: Why the “Johnny B. Goode” finale? For the passing of the man who literally gave rock and roll its rhythm and its guitar.
40. The Fyre Festival Disaster: Why the cheese sandwich? Because while we were listening to music, the “greatest festival of all time” turned into a survival movie about orange tents.
41. The “Despacito” Vevo Record: Why 5 billion? For the moment we realized that the internet was no longer just Western-centric—it was a global playground.
42. The 2017 Final Music Vibe: Why did the year feel so polarized? Because we spent the year shuffling to Despacito while trying to be humble like Kendrick, all while we watched SoundCloud rappers take over the charts and Fyre Festival burn down the idea of “luxury” music.