39 Emmy Awards Jokes: The 2017 “Handmaid’s Tale, Big Little Lies & The Spicer Surprise” Edition

In 2017, the 69th Primetime Emmy Awards saw streaming officially take the keys to the kingdom. It was the year The Handmaid’s Tale made Hulu the first streaming service to win Best Drama, Big Little Lies proved that A-list movie stars were moving to TV for good, and Stephen Colbert turned the night into a political spectacle with a guest no one saw coming.

The 2017 Emmy Red Carpet Top 10: “Red Capes, Monterey Moms & The Podium”

1. The Handmaid’s Tale Sweep: Why did it win Best Drama? Because in 2017, a dystopian nightmare felt uncomfortably close to a documentary for most Emmy voters.
2. The Big Little Lies Dominance: Why did it win everything? Because if you put Nicole Kidman, Reese Witherspoon, and Laura Dern in one town, the rest of Hollywood might as well take the night off.
3. The Sean Spicer Cameo: Why was it the shock of the night? Because the former White House Press Secretary rolled out on a podium to joke about crowd sizes, leaving the celebrities in the front row with the most awkward “is this happening?” faces in history.
4. The Sterling K. Brown Speech: Why was he cut off? Because his speech for This Is Us was so good that the orchestra had to silence him just so the other nominees wouldn’t feel talent-deprived.
5. The Julia Louis-Dreyfus Legend: Six wins in a row for the same role! At this point, Julia should just be given the keys to the building and a lifetime supply of free lunches.
6. The Donald Glover Double Win: Why was it historic? For becoming the first Black director to win for a comedy series (Atlanta) and proving he can do literally everything better than everyone else.
7. The Alec Baldwin “Presidential” Win: Why did he get the trophy? For parodying Donald Trump on SNL so effectively that people started confusing Saturday night sketches with Sunday night news.
8. The Kate McKinnon Tears: Why did she win again? Because her Hillary Clinton and Kellyanne Conway were the only things keeping America laughing through the 2016 cycle.
9. The Netflix vs. Hulu War: Why did Hulu win Best Drama before Netflix? Because The Handmaid’s Tale hit the cultural zeitgeist with more precision than a Frank Underwood revenge plot.
10. The Stephen Colbert Hosting: Why was he the perfect choice? Because in 2017, the line between a late-night talk show and a political debate had officially vanished.

The Full 2017 Emmy Jokes Archive

11. Worst Dressed (The 2016 Metallic Trend): Why so much shiny armor? Because the actresses looked like they were preparing for a battle over the Iron Throne (which was ineligible this year).
12. Outstanding Comedy: Why Veep? Because real-life D.C. became so absurd that the show’s writers had to work twice as hard to make their fiction stay funny.
13. Outstanding Drama: Why The Handmaid’s Tale? For making white bonnets and red capes the most terrifying costume of the year.
14. Outstanding Lead Actor (Comedy): Why Donald Glover? For Atlanta, a show that is only a comedy because the Emmys don’t have a category for “Beautiful Existential Nightmare.”
15. Outstanding Lead Actress (Comedy): Why Julia Louis-Dreyfus? Because Selina Meyer would probably have rigged the results if Julia hadn’t won them herself.
16. Outstanding Lead Actor (Drama): Why Sterling K. Brown? Because he cried so convincingly in This Is Us that tissue manufacturers saw their stock prices double.
17. Outstanding Lead Actress (Drama): Why Elisabeth Moss? For proving you can act with just your eyes and still dominate the entire streaming world.
18. The Nicole Kidman Win: Why did she win? For a performance in Big Little Lies that reminded everyone she’s one of the greatest of all time, even when playing a suburban mom with secrets.
19. The Alexander Skarsgård Win: Why him? For being a husband so terrifying that fans on the street started running away from him (even though they still think he’s handsome).
20. The Laura Dern “Dernance”: Why did she win? For Renata Klein, proving that no one does “controlled fury” in high fashion better than she does.
21. The Riz Ahmed Breakthrough: Why for The Night Of? For making the New York justice system look bleaker than a rainy Monday morning.
22. The John Lithgow Win: Why for The Crown? Because playing Winston Churchill so well that you forget he’s an American is pure acting sorcery.
23. The Ann Dowd Upset: Why did Aunt Lydia get an Emmy? Because she was so scary that voters were afraid of what she’d do to them if they didn’t check her name.
24. The Black Mirror “San Junipero” Win: Why did this episode win? For proving that even in a technological hellscape, you can find a beautiful 80s neon love story.
25. The Saturday Night Live Record: Why 9 wins? Because 2017 was the best year for political comedy since the invention of politics.
26. The Stranger Things Snub: Why didn’t the Hawkins kids win the big prizes? Because the Academy decided a Demogorgon wasn’t as serious a threat as the Republic of Gilead.
27. The Westworld Visuals: Why technical wins? Because recreating a robot theme park costs more than the GDP of a small country, and the Emmys respect a high price tag.
28. The 30-Second Rule: Why did Colbert ignore it? Because when you’re singing with dancing Handmaids, time is an abstract concept.
29. The RuPaul Win: Why Best Host? Because “Sashay Away” was exactly what we wanted to say to most of the news cycle in 2017.
30. The Master of None Writing: Why the “Thanksgiving” episode? For a beautiful, multi-decade coming-out story that silenced the entire room.
31. The Big Little Lies Soundtrack: Why the buzz? Because every mom in America started listening to Michael Kiwanuka while staring pensively at the ocean after the gala.
32. The Alec Baldwin Speech: Why did he say “Mr. President, here is your Emmy”? Because Donald Trump famously complained on Twitter for years that The Apprentice never won.
33. The Game of Thrones Absence: Why was it weird? Because a change in premiere dates meant the dragons sat this one out, giving everyone else a chance to survive the night.
34. The Silicon Valley “Jian-Yang” Jokes: Why the hit? For proving that a smart fridge and “Hot Dog / Not Hot Dog” is the peak of human innovation.
35. The Daily Show Loss: Why did Trevor Noah lose? Because John Oliver became the new official “Voice of Reason” in a world that had lost its mind.
36. The Martha & Snoop Buzz: Why the jokes? For being the most unlikely and charming duo in the history of televised cooking.
37. The Carrie Fisher Tribute: Why the tears? For saying goodbye to our only Princess, who was far too cool for any earthly red carpet.
38. The Netflix Investment: Why was it mentioned? Because Netflix was spending so much money on content that the Emmys considered renaming the ceremony “The Netflix Participation Awards.”
39. The 2017 Final Emmy Vibe: Why was it historic? Because it was the night TV became the front line of the culture war, and streaming finally buried the traditional broadcast schedule for good.