37 Oscars Jokes: The 2015 “Birdman, Tightie-Whities & Gaga’s High Notes” Edition

In 2015, the 87th Academy Awards proved that “art” is often just a man running through Times Square in his underwear. It was the year Birdman soared over the competition, Neil Patrick Harris tried to predict the future in a locked box, and Lady Gaga reminded us that behind the meat dresses is one of the greatest voices in history.

The 2015 Red Carpet Top 10: “Undies & One-Shots”

1. The Neil Patrick Harris Underwear Stunt: Why did the host walk on stage in his briefs? Because he wanted to prove that you don’t need a tuxedo to host the Oscars, but you do need a very high level of confidence and a gym membership.
2. The “Birdman” vs. “Boyhood” Battle: Why did the one-shot movie beat the 12-year movie? Because the Academy decided that pretending to film a movie in one take is more impressive than actually waiting 12 years for a kid to hit puberty.
3. Lady Gaga’s “Sound of Music” Tribute: Why did everyone stop breathing? Because Lady Gaga hit notes so high that Julie Andrews literally appeared out of thin air just to give her a hug.
4. Eddie Redmayne’s Energy: Why was his Best Actor win for The Theory of Everything so joyful? Because he looked like he had just been told he won a free trip to a candy store rather than a 13-pound gold statue.
5. Julianne Moore’s Long-Awaited Win: Why did she win for Still Alice? To prove that if you are nominated five times and look that good in Chanel, the Academy will eventually realize they’ve kept you waiting too long.
6. The Patricia Arquette Speech: Why did Meryl Streep point and cheer? Because when a Best Supporting Actress demands equal pay for women, she becomes the unofficial President of Hollywood for at least five minutes.
7. The “Whiplash” Intensity: Why did J.K. Simmons win? Because he gave the most terrifying performance of a music teacher in history, making every person in the room afraid to play their instruments out of tune.
8. The “Grand Budapest Hotel” Colors: Why did Wes Anderson win so many technical awards? Because the Academy has a soft spot for pink hotels, symmetrical rooms, and a lot of pastry boxes.
9. John Travolta’s Face Touching: Why was he touching Scarlett Johansson and Idina Menzel’s faces? Because after the “Adele Dazeem” incident, he decided that tactile feedback was the only way to make sure people were actually real.
10. The “Glory” Performance: Why was everyone crying? Because John Legend and Common turned the stage into the Edmund Pettus Bridge and reminded everyone that “Glory” is a lot bigger than a trophy.

The Full 2015 Oscars Jokes Archive

11. The Alejandro Iñárritu Sweep: Why did he win Best Director? Because he convinced the Academy that a movie about a theater actor’s ego is the most important thing happening on Earth.
12. The Best Original Screenplay: Why did Birdman win? Because writing a movie that feels like a jazz drum solo is the ultimate Hollywood flex.
13. The Best Adapted Screenplay: Why did The Imitation Game win? Because Graham Moore’s “Stay Weird” speech was the most inspiring 60 seconds for every person who ever felt like they didn’t fit in.
14. The Best Costume Design: Why did Milena Canonero win for Grand Budapest? Because those purple bellhop uniforms are the official fashion statement of 2015.
15. The Best Makeup Win: Why did the pastry-colored movie win again? Because making Tilda Swinton look 80 years old is the Academy’s favorite game.
16. The Best Art Direction: Why did Wes Anderson sweep the visuals? Because he’s the only man who can make a 2D-looking set feel more three-dimensional than Avatar.
17. The Best Cinematography: Why did Emmanuel Lubezki win (again)? Because he figured out how to fly a camera through a window and into a man’s soul.
18. The “Lego Movie” Snub: Why didn’t it get nominated for Best Animated Feature? Because the Academy was afraid that if they gave an Oscar to a movie about plastic bricks, everything would cease to be “Awesome.”
19. The Best Sound Mixing: Why did Whiplash win? Because the sound of a drumstick hitting a cymbal is the only thing that can keep an Oscar voter awake after midnight.
20. The Best Sound Editing: Why did American Sniper win? Because the sound of a silent desert is the most expensive thing you can record in Hollywood.
21. The Best Visual Effects: Why did Interstellar win? Because Christopher Nolan made a black hole look so realistic that we all felt like we were aging faster just watching it.
22. The Best Original Score: Why did Alexandre Desplat win? Because he was nominated twice in the same category, proving that he is the only person who can beat Alexandre Desplat.
23. The Best Original Song: Why was “Glory” a lock? Because it’s the only song that can make a rapper and a soul singer look like they’re leading a revolution in a tuxedo.
24. The Best Foreign Language Film: Why did Ida win? Because Poland proved that black-and-white silence is the international language of “This is Art.”
25. The Best Film Editing: Why did Whiplash win? Because that movie was cut faster than a jazz musician’s heartbeat during a solo.
26. The Best Documentary Feature: Why did Citizenfour win? To remind us that Edward Snowden is watching the Oscars too, probably from a very secure laptop.
27. The Best Animated Feature: Why did Big Hero 6 win? Because a giant, inflatable marshmallow robot is the only therapist Hollywood can afford.
28. The Honorary Award for Maureen O’Hara: Why? Because it took 94 years for the Academy to realize that “The Quiet Man” had a very loud legend.
29. The Best Live Action Short: Why did The Phone Call win? Because Sally Hawkins can make you cry just by holding a telephone.
30. The Best Animated Short: Why did Feast win? To prove that a hungry puppy is the best way to tell a love story in under six minutes.
31. The Benedict Cumberbatch Flask: Why was he drinking during the ceremony? To prove that “Sherlock” knows exactly how to survive a four-hour awards show.
32. The Best Documentary Short: Why did Crisis Hotline win? Because some jobs are more important than acting, and the Academy occasionally remembers that.
33. The Michael Keaton “Gum” Moment: Why was he chewing gum when he lost? To show that even if you don’t win an Oscar, you can still have fresh breath for the after-party.
34. The Emma Stone Lego Statue: Why was she holding a yellow brick Oscar? Because it’s the only trophy that won’t break if you drop it on your way to a cocktail party.
35. The Best Supporting Actress Race: Why did Meryl Streep lose? Because even the Queen of Hollywood knows when it’s time to let Patricia Arquette take the podium.
36. The Governor’s Ball: Why was the food so “Symmetrical”? Because after all those Wes Anderson wins, serving a crooked steak felt like a stylistic crime.
37. The 2015 Final Oscars Vibe: Why was it a “Classic” year? Because it was the night the “Birdman” flew, the “Sound of Music” returned, and the 2015 Oscars reminded us that sometimes the best way to win is to just be yourself—even in your underwear.