42 Musician & Rock Star Jokes: The 2023 “Eras, AI Drake & The Pink Summer” Edition

In 2023, the music world was owned by two women: Taylor Swift, who single-handedly boosted the global economy, and Barbie, who made every artist on the planet want to wear pink. It was the year we all listened to a fake Drake song created by a computer, learned that “Delresto” is a place Travis Scott visits, and realized that Miley Cyrus could buy herself flowers and talk to herself for hours.

The 2023 Soundboard Top 10: “The Eras Tour, Barbie World & The AI Glitch”

1. The Taylor Swift “Eras Tour” Earthquake: Why the seismic activity? Because Taylor’s fans literally shook the ground in Seattle, proving that “Shake It Off” is not just a song, it’s a geological event.
2. The “Barbie” Soundtrack Takeover: Why the pink glitter? Because Greta Gerwig convinced everyone from Dua Lipa to Billie Eilish and Ryan Gosling that “I’m Just Ken” was the emotional anthem the world desperately needed.
3. The AI Drake & The Weeknd “Heart on My Sleeve”: Why the panic? Because a guy in a ghost mask used a computer to make a hit song, and for 48 hours, the entire music industry thought they were out of a job.
4. The Miley Cyrus “Flowers” Anthem: Why the self-love? Because Miley released a song about her breakup that was so catchy even her ex’s new girlfriend was probably humming it in secret.
5. The SZA “Kill Bill” Dominance: Why the yellow jumpsuit? Because SZA stayed at #1 for weeks with a song about murdering her ex, proving that 2023 was the year of the “relatable” villain.
6. The Ice Spice “Princess Diana” Arrival: Why the munch? Because Ice Spice became the first rapper in years to make “effortless” look like a global superpower, one “Graha” at a time.
7. The Olivia Rodrigo “GUTS” Return: Why the purple blood? Because Olivia proved she wasn’t a one-album wonder, making “vampire” the official anthem for anyone who has ever dated a guy they shouldn’t have.
8. The Rolling Stones “Hackney Diamonds”: Why the 18-year wait? Because Keith Richards and Mick Jagger returned at 80 to show the kids that “Angry” is a vibe that never gets old.
9. The Morgan Wallen “Last Night” Run: Why the 16 weeks? Because country music officially moved into the city, ruling the Billboard charts for almost the entire year with a song about a bad phone call.
10. The Troye Sivan “Rush” Fever: Why the red shorts? Because Troye gave us the most energetic, sweaty, and uninhibited dance-pop moment of the summer.

The Full 2023 Musician & Rock Star Archive

11. The Lana Del Rey “Did you know that there’s a tunnel…”: Why the long title? For Lana being the most Lana she’s ever been, making us all cry at a Waffle House.
12. The Travis Scott “UTOPIA”: Why the desert? For the massive return of La Flame, where everyone spent three weeks trying to figure out if that was actually a Beyoncé feature. (It was).
13. The Doja Cat “Scarlet”: Why the red paint? For Doja officially declaring war on her own fans and the pop world, only to give us the biggest rap hit of the year with “Paint the Town Red.”
14. The Mitski “The Land Is Inhospitable…”: Why the “My Love Mine All Mine”? For the indie queen accidentally writing the most popular wedding song of the year while trying to be sad.
15. The boygenius “the record”: Why the three friends? For Phoebe, Julien, and Lucy proving that “Sad-Girl Rock” is a superpower when you do it together.
16. The Peso Pluma “Ella Baila Sola”: Why the mullet? For the regional Mexican star who took a traditional sound and turned it into the biggest global hit of the year.
17. The Blur “The Ballad of Darren”: Why the swimming pool? For Damon Albarn and the boys returning to show everyone that Britpop is eternal, as long as you’re a bit melancholy about it.
18. The Caroline Polachek “Desire, I Want to Turn Into You”: Why the volcano? For the artist who made the most perfect and weirdest pop album of the year.
19. The Foo Fighters “But Here We Are”: Why the white cover? For Dave Grohl dealing with the loss of Taylor Hawkins through an album that was loud, beautiful, and absolutely heartbreaking.
20. The Victoria Monét “JAGUAR II”: Why the “On My Mama”? For the songwriter finally stepping into the spotlight and bringing classic R&B luxury back to the charts.
21. The Paramore “This Is Why” (The Remixes): Why the collaboration? For the band proving they are the “cool older siblings” of every new indie and pop star.
22. The Gunna “a Gift & a Curse”: Why “fukumean”? For the man who proved you could have a #1 hit even when the entire internet was arguing about whether you “snitched.”
23. The Tyla “Water”: Why the dance? For the South African star who made “Amapiano” a household name with a move that had everyone pouring water on themselves.
24. The Ed Sheeran “-” (Subtract): Why the yellow eyes? For Ed finishing his symbol era by being his most vulnerable and acoustic self yet.
25. The Kylie Minogue “Padam Padam”: Why the red outfit? For the legendary Kylie proving that she can still start a global dance craze at any age.
26. The Drake “For All The Dogs”: Why the scary cover? For Drake releasing a 23-track epic and then immediately announcing a “break” from music to fix his stomach.
27. The Jung Kook “Golden” Debut: Why “Seven”? For the BTS star officially becoming the new King of Pop for the week with a Latto feature.
28. The NewJeans “Get Up”: Why the Powerpuff Girls? For the K-Pop group that made “Jersey Club” beats sound like a breezy afternoon at the mall.
29. The 100 gecs “10,000 gecs”: Why the frog? For the duo proving that hyperpop isn’t dead; it just needed more ska and giant guitars.
30. The PinkPantheress “Boy’s a Liar Pt. 2”: Why Ice Spice? For the shortest song to ever dominate the world, proving that “vibes” are more important than bridge sections.
31. The 1975 (The Malaysia Incident): Why the kiss? For Matty Healy being so controversial he got an entire festival cancelled and banned from a country in one night.
32. The Beatles “Now and Then”: Why the AI? For the “last” Beatles song, where technology finally allowed John Lennon’s voice to join the band one more time from 1977.
33. The Bad Bunny “Nadie Sabe…”: Why the shaved head? For Benito ditching the summer vibes for hard trap and proving he’s still the boss of Puerto Rico.
34. The Fall Out Boy “So Much (For) Stardust”: Why the return to Fueled By Ramen? For the band bringing back the emo-rock sound we actually wanted.
35. The Death of Tina Turner: Why the “Simply the Best” finale? For the loss of the Queen of Rock ‘n’ Roll, a woman whose energy and voice defined resilience for half a century.
36. The Death of Sinead O’Connor: Why the “Nothing Compares 2 U” silence? For the loss of a rebel soul whose voice was a weapon and a prayer.
37. The Death of Tony Bennett: Why the “I Left My Heart…”? For the loss of the last great crooner who taught Lady Gaga and the rest of us how to stay classy.
38. The Death of Shane MacGowan: Why the “Fairytale of New York” tears? For the loss of the poet of the pubs, just in time for his most famous song to hit the Christmas charts.
39. The Death of Burt Bacharach: Why the “Say a Little Prayer”? For the loss of the man who wrote the melody of the 20th century.
40. The Coachella Frank Ocean Disaster: Why the ice rink? Because we spent $500 to watch a man walk around in a circle for 40 minutes before the curfew cut him off.
41. The “Tube Girl” Confidence: Why the dancing? Because while we were listening to music, we were all trying to act like we were in a music video on the London Underground.
42. The 2023 Final Music Vibe: Why did the year feel so grand? Because we spent the year trading friendship bracelets at Taylor Swift, wearing pink for Barbie, and wondering if Drake was a robot, while realizing that whether it was Utopia or Guts, the “Eras” we live in are shifting faster than a TikTok scroll.