40 Emmy Awards Jokes: The 2011 “Winter is Coming, Downton Manners & The Modern Family Dynasty” Edition

In 2011, the 63rd Primetime Emmy Awards felt like a massive cultural exchange program. It was the year a fantasy epic with dragons (Game of Thrones) finally sat at the big table, an aristocratic British manor (Downton Abbey) taught us that “weekends” are for commoners, and Modern Family officially built a fortress around the Comedy category.

The 2011 Emmy Red Carpet Top 10: “Dragons, Corsets & Red Velvet”

1. The Game of Thrones Arrival: Why the buzz? Because it was the first time “Winter is Coming” was heard at a black-tie event where the temperature was actually 90 degrees.
2. The Modern Family Sweep: Why did they win everything? Because the Academy decided that if you have five people from the same show in one category, you might as well just hand the trophy to the craft service table.
3. The Downton Abbey Invasion: Why did it dominate the Miniseries category? For proving that a show about British people staring at each other in large rooms is the ultimate Emmy catnip.
4. The Charlie Sheen “Winning” Moment: Why was the room silent? Because Charlie Sheen showed up to present an award and acted… perfectly normal, which was the most shocking thing he’d done all year.
5. The Melissa McCarthy Surprise: Why the standing ovation? For winning Best Actress for Mike & Molly and reacting like she’d just won a lottery she didn’t even buy a ticket for.
6. The Mad Men Four-peat: Why did it win Best Drama again? Because in 2011, Emmy voters still believed that Don Draper’s silence was more profound than any other show’s dialogue.
7. The Kyle Chandler Justice: Why did “Coach Taylor” finally win? Because Friday Night Lights ended, and the Academy realized they couldn’t live with the guilt of leaving him “clear-eyed” but trophy-less.
8. The Peter Dinklage Coronation: Why did Tyrion Lannister win? For proving that a sharp tongue and a goblet of wine are the most powerful weapons in any kingdom, including Hollywood.
9. The Jane Lynch Hosting: Why was she a hit? For opening the show with a musical number that proved “TV is a vast wasteland,” but at least it has catchy tunes.
10. The Ricky Gervais Video (Again): Why the groan? Because he sent another video from London to remind everyone that he’s richer, drunker, and more honest than they are.

The Full 2011 Emmy Jokes Archive

11. Worst Dressed (The 2011 Mermaid Tail): Why so many flared skirts? Because every actress looked like she was planning to swim away if she lost.
12. Outstanding Comedy: Why Modern Family? For proving that the only thing more functional than their family is their ability to win awards.
13. Outstanding Drama: Why Mad Men? For tying the all-time record of four wins and making mid-century depression look incredibly profitable.
14. Outstanding Lead Actor (Comedy): Why Jim Parsons? For his second win, proving that the “Big Bang” theory is actually just a theory about how to collect trophies.
15. Outstanding Lead Actress (Comedy): Why Melissa McCarthy? For the “Pageant” bit on stage that made every other actress look like they were taking themselves way too seriously.
16. Outstanding Lead Actor (Drama): Why Kyle Chandler? Because “Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose” finally applied to the Emmy ballot.
17. Outstanding Lead Actress (Drama): Why Julianna Margulies? For The Good Wife, proving that being a lawyer in Chicago is 10% law and 90% power-walking in high heels.
18. The Peter Dinklage Speech: Why the highlight? For thanking George R.R. Martin and then looking like he actually survived a Red Wedding just to get to the stage.
19. The Ty Burrell Win: Why did Phil Dunphy win Supporting Actor? For proving that being a “Cool Dad” is a full-time job that pays in gold statuettes.
20. The Julie Bowen Win: Why did Claire Dunphy win? For being the only person on TV who can look stressed for 22 minutes and still be the funniest person in the room.
21. The Margo Martindale Win: Why for Justified? For playing a character so terrifyingly good that even the Emmy voters were too scared to vote for anyone else.
22. The Boardwalk Empire Visuals: Why 8 technical wins? For proving that Martin Scorsese can make 1920s Atlantic City look better than 2011 Los Angeles.
23. The Glee Decline: Why no big wins? Because the “musical” novelty was starting to wear off, and everyone was getting “autotune fatigue.”
24. The Daily Show’s 9th Win: Why Jon Stewart? Because the 2011 news cycle was essentially a 24-hour audition for his comedy writers.
25. The Amazing Race’s 8th Win: Why? Because watching people cry while looking for a clue in a spice market in India is a timeless American tradition.
26. The Parks and Recreation Snub: Why did Ron Swanson lose? Because the Academy doesn’t understand that wood-working and breakfast food are the only things that matter.
27. The American Horror Story Teaser: Why the whispers? For a show that promised to make us all terrified of our own basements and rubber suits.
28. The 30-Second Rule: Why the loud orchestra? Because Jane Lynch had three more costume changes and the show was already pushing midnight.
29. The Louis C.K. Writing Win: Why? For a show that proved you can be miserable, awkward, and lonely, and still be the smartest person on FX.
30. The Mildred Pierce Sweep: Why did Kate Winslet win? Because if an Oscar winner does TV, the Emmys legally have to provide them with a trophy and a red carpet.
31. The Downton Abbey “Dowager” Quotes: Why did Maggie Smith win? Because nobody delivers an insult with more class than a British woman in a corset.
32. The Kennedy Center Honors Mention: Why the mockery? For being the only show on TV where the average age of the audience is “pre-industrial.”
33. The South Park “Crack Baby Athletic Association”: Why the buzz? For being the only show on TV brave enough to compare the NCAA to… well, exactly that.
34. The Community Snub (Again): Why? Because the Academy still didn’t realize that a “Paintball” episode is better than most feature films.
35. The Netflix “House of Cards” Rumors: Why the fear? Because the internet was coming for the networks, and nobody knew how to change the Wi-Fi password.
36. The Jersey Shore Joke: Why the groans? For a year where Snooki and The Situation were actually considered “cultural influencers.”
37. The 24 Absence: Why the sadness? Because without Jack Bauer, there was nobody to stop the show from running 15 minutes overtime.
38. The Futurama Win: Why Best Animated Program? For proving that the year 3000 is still funnier than the year 2011.
39. The Kathy Griffin Ban: Why wasn’t she there? Because she was probably somewhere outside the building with a megaphone and a list of plastic surgeons.
40. The 2011 Final Emmy Vibe: Why the “Global Shift”? Because it was the year TV stopped being an American medium and became a world-wide obsession with dragons, lords, and lawyers.