38 Emmy Awards Jokes: The 2019 “Fleabag’s Sweep, Game of Thrones’ Final Fire & The No-Host Experiment” Edition

In 2019, the 71st Primetime Emmy Awards felt like a massive cultural earthquake. It was the year a British “girl with a cafe” (Fleabag) humiliated the giants of comedy, Game of Thrones burned the competition one last time, and the gala went hostless—which turned out to be the smartest decision producers made since the invention of the teleprompter.

The 2019 Emmy Red Carpet Top 10: “Pink Tulle, Iron Thrones & Hot Priests”

1. The Fleabag Invasion: Why did Phoebe Waller-Bridge win everything? Because the Academy decided that looking directly into the camera and narrating your own failures was the only way to survive 2019.
2. The Game of Thrones Farewell: Why did it win Best Drama despite the controversial finale? Because after eight years, the dragons had so many trophies the Academy was afraid to say “no” for fear of a “Dracarys” in the front row.
3. The “Hot Priest” Phenomenon: Why was Andrew Scott the talk of the night? For proving that the only thing the internet cares about more than dragons is forbidden love in a Roman collar.
4. The No-Host Experiment: Why was the hostless gala a hit? Because nobody had to pretend to be amused by a 15-minute monologue about how hard it is to be a millionaire in Los Angeles.
5. The Billy Porter History: Why was his win iconic? For becoming the first openly gay Black man to win Best Lead Actor in a Drama (Pose), while wearing a hat with more personality than half the room.
6. The Chernobyl Sweep: Why did a miniseries about a nuclear disaster win 10 awards? Because in 2019, the vision of a core meltdown felt strangely soothing compared to reading the news on Twitter.
7. The Julia Louis-Dreyfus “Loss”: Why didn’t Selina Meyer win for the seventh time? Because Phoebe Waller-Bridge walked into the room and simply took all the toys back to London with her.
8. The Michelle Williams Speech: Why was her speech on equal pay a hit? For proving you can be a cinema icon and the loudest voice of reason in the industry at the same time.
9. The Jharrel Jerome Standing Ovation: Why did he win for When They See Us? Because his performance was so painful and true that the entire room felt the need to apologize to him on behalf of humanity.
10. The Netflix vs. HBO War: Why does HBO still win? Because Netflix has thousands of shows, but HBO has dragons, Roman successions, and nuclear reactors.

The Full 2019 Emmy Jokes Archive

11. Worst Dressed (The 2019 Loofah Trend): Why so much pink tulle? Because the red carpet looked like it was attacked by an army of luxury bath sponges.
12. Outstanding Comedy: Why Fleabag? For proving that being an emotional trainwreck is the height of prestige.
13. Outstanding Drama: Why Game of Thrones? For being the only show that can make 19 million people argue about the same thing for three months straight.
14. Outstanding Lead Actor (Comedy): Why Bill Hader? Because Barry is the only show where depression and murder are funnier than most late-night talk shows.
15. Outstanding Lead Actress (Comedy): Why Phoebe Waller-Bridge? Because being brilliant, funny, and beautiful at the same time should be illegal (or at least taxed).
16. Outstanding Lead Actor (Drama): Why Billy Porter? For teaching us all how to wear a tuxedo with a train and absolute dignity.
17. Outstanding Lead Actress (Drama): Why Jodie Comer? Because in Killing Eve, she was so charming we all briefly forgot she was a serial killer.
18. The Peter Dinklage Record: Why his fourth Emmy for the same role? Because Tyrion Lannister was the only person to survive the Game of Thrones finale with his reputation intact.
19. The Alex Borstein Repeat: Why did she win again? For a speech where she told us all to “step out of line,” which most of us only did on the way to the bar.
20. The Tony Shalhoub Win: Why did he get gold again? For proving in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel that being a perpetually annoyed father is his natural state of being.
21. The Julia Garner Surprise: Why did she win for Ozark? For having the most intense curls and the best Missouri accent in streaming history.
22. The Succession Buzz: Why was everyone whispering? Because the Roy family makes your own family look like a group of well-adjusted saints.
23. The John Oliver Streak: Why does Last Week Tonight win every year? Because John Oliver is the only Brit who can explain America to Americans using mascots and sarcasm.
24. The Saturday Night Live Dominance: Why do they still win? Because 2019 reality was so absurd that SNL writers just started transcribing newspaper headlines.
25. The Amazing Race’s Loss: Why did RuPaul’s Drag Race win again? Because in 2019, we’d rather watch a fight over a wig than a fight over a flight ticket.
26. The Black Mirror: Bandersnatch: Why did it win? For making the choice between breakfast cereals the most stressful moment of the year.
27. The Gwendoline Christie Self-Nomination: Why was it a hit? Because she submitted herself for the award (and got nominated!), proving Brienne of Tarth needs no one’s permission to be a legend.
28. The 30-Second Rule: Why was the orchestra so quiet? Because nobody would dare cut off Phoebe Waller-Bridge when she’s on a roll.
29. The Veep Finale: Why did Selina Meyer leave without a trophy? Because the finale was so dark and real that the Academy needed something lighter, like Fleabag (which was also dark, but had a “Hot Priest”).
30. The BoJack Horseman Snub: Why still ignored? Because the Academy clearly isn’t ready for an animated horse to tell them about their own existential void.
31. The Ted Lasso Teaser: Why the whispers? Because Apple TV+ was just warming up, and nobody knew that optimism was about to become the new global currency.
32. The Better Call Saul Ignored: Why no award for Bob Odenkirk again? Because being a lawyer in Albuquerque is officially the longest road to recognition in TV history.
33. The Chernobyl “No Joy” Quote: Why the hit? For the writer’s speech reminding us that “the truth doesn’t care about our needs,” the saddest moment in a room full of million-dollar gowns.
34. The Kit Harington Beard: Why the jokes? Because after the show ended, Kit looked like the only thing he wanted to do was sleep for the next three years.
35. The Sophie Turner & Joe Jonas Buzz: Why the gossip? For being the best-looking couple in the room who probably knew the ending of Thrones before anyone else.
36. The Queer Eye Emotions: Why did the Fab Five cry? Because in 2019, crying over a “French tuck” was perfectly acceptable behavior.
37. The Kim Kardashian & Kendall Jenner Moment: Why the laughter? Because when Kim said their family knows what it means to “be real,” the whole room laughed thinking it was a rehearsed bit.
38. The 2019 Final Emmy Vibe: Why the end of an era? Because with the departure of the Westeros dragons and Selina Meyer from D.C., TV officially handed the reins to British comedies and dark disaster miniseries.