39 Emmy Awards Jokes: The 2015 “Jon Hamm’s Crawl, Game of Thrones’ Iron Throne & Viola’s History” Edition

In 2015, the 67th Primetime Emmy Awards felt like a massive celebration of “Finally!” It was the year Jon Hamm finally climbed onto the stage (literally) to claim his trophy, Game of Thrones broke the record for most wins in a single year, and Viola Davis made history as the first Black woman to win Best Lead Actress in a Drama.

The 2015 Emmy Red Carpet Top 10: “History Makers, Dragon Fire & The Hamm-bone”

1. The Jon Hamm “Crawl”: Why did he crawl onto the stage? Because after 8 years and 16 nominations, his legs simply gave out from the sheer weight of being the internet’s favorite “loser.”
2. The Game of Thrones Dynasty: Why did it win Best Drama? Because the Academy finally realized that if they didn’t give the show the big prize, winter would actually come for the Emmy voters.
3. The Viola Davis History: Why was her speech the highlight? For reminding everyone that the only thing separating women of color from anyone else is opportunity—and for quoting Harriet Tubman at a Hollywood gala.
4. The Veep Overthrow: Why did it beat Modern Family? Because after five years, the Academy finally decided that a swearing Vice President was funnier than a mockumentary family.
5. The Andy Samberg Hosting: Why was he a hit? For giving out his HBO Go password to the entire world and for a “musical” opening that involved him watching every show on TV in a bunker.
6. The Jon Stewart Farewell: Why did The Daily Show sweep? Because the Emmy voters wanted to give him one last hug before he retired to a farm to live with goats.
7. The Amy Schumer Breakthrough: Why did Inside Amy Schumer win? For proving that a sketch about “Last F***able Day” is the most accurate documentary ever made about Hollywood.
8. The Olive Kitteridge Sweep: Why did it win 6 awards? Because if you put Frances McDormand in a miniseries, you might as well just mail her the trophy and save her the Uber ride.
9. The Tracy Morgan Comeback: Why the standing ovation? Because seeing him walk onto the stage after his tragic accident was the most emotional “miracle” in Emmy history.
10. The Netflix “Still No Best Drama” Streak: Why did House of Cards lose again? Because Frank Underwood’s fourth-wall breaks weren’t enough to stop a fire-breathing dragon.

The Full 2015 Emmy Jokes Archive

11. Worst Dressed (The 2015 Chain-Link Fence): Why so much mesh? Because half the actresses looked like they were ready to catch salmon right after the ceremony.
12. Outstanding Comedy: Why Veep? For proving that incompetence in the White House is the ultimate American comedy.
13. Outstanding Drama: Why Game of Thrones? For proving that a “fantasy show” can be taken seriously as long as enough main characters die.
14. Outstanding Lead Actor (Comedy): Why Jeffrey Tambor? For Transparent, proving that it’s never too late to reinvent yourself or win an Emmy.
15. Outstanding Lead Actress (Comedy): Why Julia Louis-Dreyfus? Her fourth win in a row! She’s now officially more powerful than the actual Vice President.
16. Outstanding Lead Actor (Drama): Why Jon Hamm? Because the world would have rioted if Don Draper had walked away with nothing but a glass of scotch.
17. Outstanding Lead Actress (Drama): Why Viola Davis? For a performance so powerful it made the actual “How to Get Away with Murder” law students look like they were in kindergarten.
18. The Peter Dinklage Repeat: Why did Tyrion win again? For proving that “I drink and I know things” is a valid strategy for winning gold.
19. The Uzo Aduba Double: Why did she win for Orange Is the New Black? For being the first person to win a Comedy and Drama Emmy for the same role—proving Suzanne “Crazy Eyes” Warren transcends genres.
20. The Allison Janney Legend: Why her 7th Emmy? Because Allison Janney winning an Emmy is now a law of physics, like gravity or the speed of light.
21. The Tony Hale Win: Why did Gary win again? For proving that holding a purse for Julia Louis-Dreyfus is the most rewarding job in show business.
22. The Regina King Surprise: Why did she win for American Crime? For a performance that reminded everyone she’s been a legend since the 80s and it was about time the Academy noticed.
23. The Mad Men Finale Snub: Why only Jon Hamm? Because the Academy felt that a Coca-Cola commercial was a good enough ending for everyone else.
24. The Parks and Recreation Goodbye: Why no big wins? Because Leslie Knope’s ultimate dream was to serve the people, not collect trophies (though she definitely had a binder ready).
25. The Better Call Saul Debut: Why the buzz? For proving that a spin-off about a “criminal” lawyer could be just as addictive as the original recipe.
26. The Silicon Valley “Middle-Out” Joke: Why? For the show that finally explained tech-bro culture using a very elaborate NSFW mathematical formula.
27. The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Buzz: Why was it a hit? Because “pinot noir, caviar, mid-sized car” became the national anthem of 2015.
28. The Louis C.K. Writing Win: Why? For proving that being a frustrated dad in a black t-shirt is a permanent Emmy category.
29. The American Horror Story: Freak Show: Why the technical wins? For making us all terrified of clowns, as if we weren’t already.
30. The Downton Abbey Decline: Why the lack of trophies? Because the 1920s were starting to feel like “old news” compared to the dragons of Westeros.
31. The Amy Poehler Snub: Why didn’t she ever win for Leslie Knope? Because the world is a cold, dark place where breakfast food doesn’t solve everything.
32. The Key & Peele Win: Why for Variety Sketch? For proving that “Substitute Teacher” and “Hingle McCringleberry” are the comedic geniuses of our generation.
33. The 30-Second Rule: Why the loud orchestra? Because Andy Samberg had a “World’s Sexiest Emmy” bit that was running 10 minutes over.
34. The Empire Hype: Why was Taraji P. Henson the talk of the night? For proving that Cookie Lyon wears better clothes to a prison visit than most people do to the Emmys.
35. The Jane the Virgin Snub: Why was Gina Rodriguez ignored? Because the Academy wasn’t ready to admit that a telenovela parody was the smartest thing on TV.
36. The HBO Monopoly: Why 160 nominations? Because HBO owns the weekend, the trophies, and apparently everyone’s HBO Go passwords.
37. The Bill Hader & Amy Schumer Bit: Why the chemistry? For proving that the “Trainwreck” stars should probably just host everything together.
38. The In Memoriam Leonard Nimoy: Why the tears? Because saying goodbye to Spock felt like the final frontier of the evening.
39. The 2015 Final Emmy Vibe: Why the “Year of Change”? Because it was the night the old guards (Mad Men, Daily Show) passed the torch to the new legends and the history books.