52 Sports Jokes: The 2018 “Philly Special & The French Renaissance” Edition

In 2018, logic took a break. The backup quarterback humiliated Tom Brady with a play he caught himself, a 19-year-old from France ran faster than the wind to win the World Cup, and Tiger Woods proved that “returning from the dead” isn’t just a medical term, but a sports one as well.

The 2018 Top 10: The “Philly, Mbappe & Tiger” Classics

1. The Philly Special: Why did Nick Foles ask “You want Philly Philly?” Because the Eagles ran a trick play where the quarterback caught a touchdown pass in the Super Bowl, proving that the only way to beat Tom Brady is to out-scheme the entire universe.
2. Kylian Mbappé’s World Cup: Why was the 19-year-old running so fast? Because he wanted to become the first teenager since Pelé to score in a World Cup final, leading France to glory and making every other defender in Russia look like they were running in flip-flops.
3. Tiger’s Tour Championship Win: Why was the entire crowd following one man down the 18th fairway? Because Tiger Woods completed the greatest comeback in sports history, winning for the first time in five years and proving that the “Big Cat” still had claws.
4. The Ovechkin Stanley Cup Party: Why was Alex Ovechkin still wearing his skates in a fountain? Because after 13 years of waiting, he finally won the Cup and decided that “sobriety” was an optional setting for the rest of the summer.
5. The LeBron James to Lakers: Why did “The King” head West? Because he won everything in the East and decided that Hollywood needed a new lead actor, turning the Staples Center into the most expensive ticket in town.
6. The J.R. Smith NBA Finals Blunder: Why was LeBron James pointing at the floor with both hands? Because J.R. Smith forgot the score in the final seconds of Game 1, taking a tie game into overtime instead of shooting, and creating the most iconic “frustrated teammate” meme in history.
7. The Croatia World Cup Run: Why was a tiny nation in the final? Because Luka Modric and his team played three straight overtimes and refused to get tired, proving that “heart” is the best fuel for a 30-day tournament.
8. The Khabib vs. McGregor Chaos: Why was the champion jumping over the cage? Because beating Conor wasn’t enough for Khabib; he wanted to take on the whole corner, turning the biggest fight in UFC history into a chaotic scene from an action movie.
9. The Golden Knights’ First Year: Why was a team of “misfits” in the Stanley Cup Final? Because Vegas’s first-year expansion team broke every record in the book, proving that a fresh start and a lot of desert heat can create a miracle on ice.
10. The Patrick Mahomes Takeover: Why was the “No-Look Pass” world-famous? Because Mahomes became the starter in Kansas City and started throwing touchdowns like he was playing a video game with the “easy” settings on.

The Full 2018 Sports Jokes Archive

11. The Nick Foles Statue: Why is there a statue of a backup QB in Philly? Because he out-dueled the G.O.A.T. and brought the Eagles their first ring—the ultimate “underdog” resume.
12. The Shin Wha? South Korea beats Germany: Why were the defending champs out in the group stage? Because South Korea scored twice in stoppage time, proving that the “German Machine” needed a serious oil change.
13. The Naomi Osaka US Open: Why was the trophy ceremony so awkward? Because Serena was arguing with the ref, but Naomi stayed focused and proved that a 20-year-old could handle the pressure of New York better than anyone.
14. The Houston Rockets 27 Missed Threes: Why did the Warriors win Game 7? Because Houston missed 27 straight three-pointers, a statistic so bad it should be taught in “What Not to Do” classes.
15. The Shohei Ohtani Rookie Year: Why was he the “Japanese Babe Ruth”? Because he hit 22 homers and won 4 games as a pitcher, making every other MLB player feel like they were only doing half their job.
16. The Brooks Koepka “Double”: Why was he the new Major King? Because he won the U.S. Open and the PGA Championship in the same year, proving that “Big Game Brooks” only shows up for the trophies.
17. The Boston Red Sox 108 Wins: Why was “Damage Done” the slogan? Because they dominated the regular season and the World Series, proving that the 2018 Yankees were just a speed bump.
18. The England “It’s Coming Home” Fever: Why were they singing in the streets? Because Gareth Southgate’s team reached the semi-finals and made an entire nation believe in waistcoats and penalty shootouts again.
19. The Luka Doncic Draft: Why did Atlanta trade him? Because they thought they didn’t need a kid from Slovenia who had already conquered Europe—a move they started rethinking in about two weeks.
20. The Sergio Ramos vs. Mo Salah: Why was the Champions League Final so controversial? Because Ramos used a judo move on Salah, and Real Madrid won their third straight title while Liverpool fans called for a lawyer.
21. The Kawhi Leonard Trade to Toronto: Why was he so quiet? Because he was traded against his will to the North, but he packed his “Board Man Gets Paid” attitude and a very strange laugh.
22. The UMBC Upset: Why was Virginia crying in March? Because the #16 seed UMBC beat the #1 seed for the first time in history, proving that “impossible” is just a word.
23. The Cristiano Ronaldo to Juventus: Why did he leave Madrid? Because he won four titles in five years and decided that Italy needed to learn how to do the “Siuuu” celebration.
24. The Ryder Cup “Moliwood”: Why was Europe so dominant in France? Because Francesco Molinari and Tommy Fleetwood became best friends and won every match, leaving the Americans lost in the rough.
25. The Saquon Barkley Quads: Why was the Giants’ rookie so fast? Because his legs were the size of tree trunks and he spent the whole year leaping over defenders like they were hurdles.
26. The Lewis Hamilton 5th Title: Why was Sebastian Vettel spinning? Because Lewis was so consistent that the Ferrari driver felt the pressure and kept finding new ways to lose the lead.
27. The Simona Halep French Open: Why was the “best without a Major” tag gone? Because she finally won in Paris, proving that persistence is the best racket in the bag.
28. The Cleveland Browns “Bud Light” Fridges: Why did they finally open? Because Baker Mayfield came off the bench on a Thursday night to win their first game in 635 days.
29. The Real Madrid “Zidane Out”: Why did the coach leave? Because he won three Champions Leagues in a row and realized that there was literally nothing left to do except go on vacation.
30. The Drew Brees All-Time Passing Record: Why was the game stopped? Because Brees passed Peyton Manning and the entire city of New Orleans had a parade right there on the 40-yard line.
31. The Giannis Antetokounmpo “Dunk over Hardaway”: Why did Tim Hardaway Jr. want to vanish? Because Giannis jumped completely over him, a move that should be illegal in most states.
32. The VAR Debut at the World Cup: Why were we watching referees look at TVs? Because 2018 was the year “Video Assistant Referee” started ruining celebrations and starting arguments in 50 different languages.
33. The Stan Belichick? No, Tom Brady 40-Year-Old MVP: Why was he still winning? Because Brady became the oldest MVP in history, proving that avocado ice cream is a performance-enhancing drug.
34. The Bryce Harper Free Agency: Why was he wearing a different hat every day? Because he was waiting for $300 million and a contract that lasted until the year 2031.
35. The Khabib “Smesh”: Why was Conor McGregor so quiet after the fight? Because Khabib did exactly what he said he would do, proving that talk is cheap and wrestling is expensive.
36. The Justify Triple Crown: Why was he so good in the mud? Because he won the Derby, Preakness, and Belmont without ever losing a race, then retired before anyone could even interview him.
37. The Patrick Reed Masters: Why was the “Captain America” booed? Because he won the Green Jacket but forgot to bring the “personality” that the fans usually like.
38. The Manny Pacquiao vs. Lucas Matthysse: Why was Manny still fighting at 39? Because he could still knock people out and he had a whole country to lead on his days off.
39. The “Bamba” Song: Why was “Mo Bamba” playing in every locker room? Because Shaq’s favorite new rookie had a hit song before he even had an NBA double-double.
40. The Geraint Thomas Tour de France: Why was the “other” guy on Team Sky winning? Because Froome crashed and Thomas rode the race of his life, proving that the Welsh can climb mountains too.
41. The Adrian Beltre Retirement: Why was the “No Touching the Head” rule over? Because the most fun player in baseball retired, leaving a gap in the infield and a lot of untouched helmets.
42. The NFL “Roughing the Passer” Rules: Why were the defenders so confused? Because in 2018, looking at the quarterback too hard was a 15-yard penalty.
43. The Zion Williamson Dunk: Why was the internet broken? Because a 285-pound teenager was doing 360 dunks in college and making the rims cry for help.
44. The Tiger Woods “Sunday Red” in Georgia: Why were the ratings so high? Because Tiger led the British Open for a few minutes and we all realized we weren’t ready for a world without him.
45. The Tyson Fury vs. Deontay Wilder I: Why did Fury get up? Because he was flat on his back in the 12th round and rose like a ghost, creating the most dramatic draw in heavyweight history.
46. The Alex Smith Injury: Why was it so tragic? Because it happened 33 years to the day after Joe Theismann’s injury, proving that football can be a very cruel game.
47. The Mike Trout “Best Ever” Debate: Why was he still the MVP even when his team lost? Because his stats were so good he was basically playing a different sport than everyone else.
48. The World Cup “Vuvuzela” Replacement: Why was it so quiet? Because the Russian “spoons” weren’t as loud as the horns, but the soccer was ten times better.
49. The Steph Curry “Moon Landing” Quote: Why was NASA annoyed? Because Steph said he didn’t believe in the moon landing, proving that even geniuses have “off” days.
50. The Golden State “Boogie” Cousins Move: Why was the NBA “broken”? Because the Warriors added a fifth All-Star to a team that was already illegal in 48 states.
51. The Derrick Rose 50-Point Game: Why was the whole league crying? Because after all the injuries, Rose dropped 50 on Halloween, proving that the “flower” could still bloom.
52. The 2018 New Year’s Eve: Why were we looking at 2019? Because Kawhi was in Toronto, Mahomes was the MVP, and Tiger was heading back to Augusta.