36 Grammy Jokes: The 2016 “To Pimp A Butterfly & Taylor’s Revenge” Edition

In 2016, the 58th Grammy Awards were a masterclass in tension. Kendrick Lamar won the most awards of the night but lost the biggest one, Taylor Swift made history as the first woman to win Album of the Year twice, and we all learned that a “Technical Difficulty” can turn Adele’s voice into a heartbreakingly out-of-tune guitar.

The 2016 Red Carpet Top 10: “Neon Hair, Leg Slits & Ziggy Stardust”

1. Taylor’s New Bob: Why was Taylor Swift’s hair the talk of the night? Because she showed up with a sharp bob and a neon outfit that screamed: “I’m here to win Album of the Year and settle some scores.”
2. Gaga as Bowie: Why did Lady Gaga look like a space alien? Because she turned the red carpet into a tribute to David Bowie, proving that she’s the only person alive who can pull off orange hair and blue eyeshadow in 2016.
3. The Weeknd’s Shadows: Why was he so mysterious? Because Beauty Behind the Madness made him a superstar, but he still looked like he’d rather be in a dark club than under a spotlight.
4. Kendrick’s Chain Gang: Why was his performance so intense? Because Kendrick Lamar walked out in chains to prove that rap isn’t just music—it’s a 5-alarm fire that the Academy couldn’t put out.
5. Justin Bieber’s Little Brother: Why was there a toddler on the carpet? Because Jaxon Bieber was the only person who looked more bored by the paparazzi than Justin himself.
6. Adele’s Piano Problem: Why was the sound so weird? Because a microphone fell into the piano, making Adele sound like she was singing in a haunted saloon—and even then, she was still better than everyone else.
7. Zendaya’s Mullet: Why was it a choice? Because Zendaya is the only human being capable of making a business-in-the-front, party-in-the-back hairstyle look like high fashion.
8. The Hollywood Vampires: Why was Johnny Depp there? To prove that if you’re a famous actor, you can eventually live out your dream of being in a loud bar band with Alice Cooper.
9. Florence Welch’s Nightgown: Why was she so ethereal? Because Florence + The Machine always looks like they just drifted in from a Victorian moor after a long night of ghost-hunting.
10. Lionel Richie’s Smile: Why was the tribute so long? Because when you have a career like Lionel’s, you need at least six different artists to cover all the hits you wrote on a Tuesday.

The Full 2016 Grammy Jokes Archive

11. Album of the Year: Why 1989? Because Taylor Swift turned 80s nostalgia into a global currency that the Grammys were desperate to invest in.
12. Record of the Year: Why “Uptown Funk”? Because it’s the only song that is legally required to be played at every single event where people are wearing shoes.
13. Song of the Year: Why “Thinking Out Loud”? Because Ed Sheeran wrote the official “first dance” song for every wedding until the year 2050.
14. Best New Artist: Why Meghan Trainor? Because the Academy was “All About That Bass” (and maybe a little bit about those catchy hooks).
15. Best Rock Album: Why Drones? Because Muse convinced us that the robots are coming, and they have very loud guitars.
16. Best Rock Song: Why “Don’t Wanna Fight”? Because Alabama Shakes reminded us that Brittany Howard’s voice can actually move mountains.
17. Best Alternative Music Album: Why Sound & Color? (Alabama Shakes again. They were the “Cool Kids” table of 2016).
18. Best Metal Performance: Why “Cirice” by Ghost? Because the Grammys finally gave a trophy to a group of “Nameless Ghouls” and a Satanic Pope.
19. Best R&B Album: Why Black Messiah? Because D’Angelo made us wait 14 years, and the result was so good the Grammys forgot he was ever gone.
20. Best Urban Contemporary Album: Why Beauty Behind the Madness? Because The Weeknd made “not being able to feel your face” a national pastime.
21. Best R&B Song: Why “Really Love”? Because D’Angelo proved that soul music doesn’t need Auto-Tune, it just needs a vibe.
22. Best Rap Album: Why To Pimp a Butterfly? Because it was a poetic masterpiece that made every other album in the category look like a rough draft.
23. Best Rap Performance: Why “Alright”? Because it became the anthem of a movement, and Kendrick Lamar became the voice of a generation.
24. Best Rap/Sung Collaboration: Why “These Walls”? Because Kendrick Lamar and Anna Wise made a song so complex it has its own zip code.
25. Best Rap Song: Why “Alright”? (See: Joke #23. It was more than a song; it was a prophecy).
26. Best Pop Solo Performance: Why “Thinking Out Loud”? Because Ed Sheeran’s acoustic guitar is a Grammy-winning machine.
27. Best Pop Duo/Group Performance: Why “Uptown Funk”? Because Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars created a funk monster that couldn’t be stopped.
28. Best Pop Vocal Album: Why 1989? Because Taylor Swift officially moved out of Nashville and into the penthouse of Pop.
29. Best Dance Recording: Why “Where Are Ü Now”? Because Skrillex and Diplo managed to make Justin Bieber “Grammy-cool.”
30. Best Dance/Electronic Album: Why Skrillex and Diplo Present Jack Ü? Because the “wub-wub” evolved into “pop-pop.”
31. Best Country Album: Why Traveller? Because Chris Stapleton reminded us that Country music sounds better with a beard and a whole lot of soul.
32. Best Country Solo Performance: Why “Traveller”? Because when Chris Stapleton sings, even the statues in the room start to feel things.
33. Best Reggae Album: Why Strictly Roots by Morgan Heritage? Because it was time to give someone without the last name “Marley” a turn (even if it was a close call).
34. Best Comedy Album: Why Live at Madison Square Garden by Louis C.K.? Because 2016 was still a time when the Academy found him funny without the “Footnotes.”
35. Best Music Video: Why “Bad Blood”? Karena Taylor Swift hired every famous friend she had to make a 4-minute action movie.
36. The 2016 Final Grammy Vibe: Why was it historic? Because it was the night the “Political Poet” (Kendrick) lit the stage on fire, the “Pop Mastermind” (Taylor) claimed her throne, and Ed Sheeran finally got a trophy for making everyone cry in 4/4 time.