36 Emmy Awards Jokes: The 2023 “Succession’s Final Exit, The Bear’s Kitchen Takeover & The Beef Sweep” Edition

In 2023 (though the ceremony was delayed until January 2024), the 75th Primetime Emmy Awards felt like a massive family reunion mixed with a high-stakes kitchen shift. It was the year Succession ended its cutthroat corporate war on top, The Bear proved that “Yes, Chef!” is the only acceptable answer to Emmy voters, and Beef turned suburban road rage into a total sweep of the limited series category.

The 2023 Emmy Red Carpet Top 10: “Quiet Luxury, Kitchen Aprons & The Strike Delay”

1. The Succession Coronation: Why did it win Best Drama for its final season? Because the Roy family finally stopped fighting each other long enough to take all the trophies back to the penthouse.
2. The Bear’s First Course: Why did it sweep the comedy categories? For proving that a stressful, high-intensity sandwich shop is actually a “comedy”—at least compared to a real-life restaurant shift.
3. The Beef Road Rage: Why did Ali Wong and Steven Yeun sweep? Because they turned a minor parking lot argument into a 10-episode existential crisis that the Academy couldn’t stop watching.
4. The Anthony Anderson Hosting: Why was his mom, “Mama Doris,” the real star? For being the only person brave enough to tell a winner their speech was too long by standing up and pointing at her watch.
5. The EGOT for Elton John: Why the buzz? For winning his first Emmy for his farewell concert special, officially making him the 19th person to collect the full set of showbiz infinity stones.
6. The Better Call Saul Heartbreak: Why did it set a record for 53 nominations and zero wins? For being the most brilliant show in history that the Academy apparently watched with the TV turned off.
7. The Last of Us Breakthrough: Why the technical wins? For proving that a video game adaptation can be “prestige TV” as long as it has Pedro Pascal and enough emotional trauma.
8. The Quinta Brunson History: Why her win for Abbott Elementary? For becoming the first Black woman to win Best Lead Actress in a Comedy in over 40 years, proving that public school teachers really can do anything.
9. The Succession Leading Men War: Why did Kieran Culkin win? For playing Roman Roy with such chaotic energy that he beat out his own fictional father (Brian Cox) and brother (Jeremy Strong).
10. The Nostalgia Reunions: Why the cheers? Because seeing the casts of Cheers, The Sopranos, and Grey’s Anatomy back together made everyone realize they’ve been paying for streaming for 15 years just to rewatch the classics. [1, 2]

The Full 2023 Emmy Jokes Archive

11. Worst Dressed (The 2023 “Delayed Glamour”): Why so many styles? Because the gala was pushed back four months, and half the actors were wearing clothes that were “so last September”.
12. Outstanding Comedy: Why The Bear? For proving that “Chef” is the most romanticized profession of the decade.
13. Outstanding Drama: Why Succession? Because Jesse Armstrong’s writing is so sharp it could cut through a billion-dollar merger.
14. Outstanding Lead Actor (Comedy): Why Jeremy Allen White? For making a sweaty kitchen apron the most desirable fashion item of the year.
15. Outstanding Lead Actress (Comedy): Why Quinta Brunson? For a win that was so overdue the Academy finally had to hand it over or face a teacher’s strike.
16. Outstanding Lead Actor (Drama): Why Kieran Culkin? For a speech where he thanked his mom and then immediately told his wife he wanted more kids on national television.
17. Outstanding Lead Actress (Drama): Why Sarah Snook? For proving that “Shiv” is the only person in the Roy family with enough spine to carry a trophy.
18. The Ayo Edebiri Win: Why for The Bear? For a win so charming it made everyone forget that her character is the only person actually doing work in that kitchen.
19. The Ebon Moss-Bachrach Win: Why “Richie” got gold? For an arc from “annoying cousin” to “suit-wearing hero” that was so good it almost made up for the stress of the “Fishes” episode.
20. The Matthew Macfadyen Repeat: Why did Tom Wambsgans win again? For being the most successful “servant” in the history of corporate backstabbing.
21. The Jennifer Coolidge Victory Lap: Why did she win for The White Lotus? For another speech that reminded us she is a national treasure who just wants to “wrap it up” and go home.
22. The Ali Wong History: Why for Beef? For becoming the first Asian woman to win a lead acting Emmy, proving that revenge is a dish best served with a gold statue.
23. The Steven Yeun Win: Why? For a performance that made “failing at construction” look like a poetic tragedy.
24. The Niecy Nash-Betts Speech: Why the highlight? For thanking “ME!” in a powerful self-love speech that made everyone in the room want to give themselves an award.
25. The Paul Walter Hauser Win: Why for Black Bird? For being so terrifyingly good that the Academy gave him a trophy just to make sure he wasn’t really that guy.
26. The John Oliver Dominance: Why did Last Week Tonight win in a new category? Because if you give John Oliver a platform, he will eventually find a way to take every award in the building.
27. The Daily Show’s Farewell: Why did Trevor Noah win for his final season? For a goodbye that felt like a “participation trophy” that he actually earned through years of political chaos.
28. The RuPaul Streak: Why his 11th win? Because “Drag Race” is the only race in America where the winner is decided before the show even starts—by RuPaul.
29. The 30-Second Rule: Why the “Mama Doris” intervention? Because the producers realized that a 70-year-old mother is a much more effective “wrap-up” tool than a 40-piece orchestra.
30. The Wednesday Hype: Why did Jenna Ortega lose? Because the Academy is still too “old school” to realize that a viral TikTok dance is the new currency of success.
31. The Jury Duty Snub: Why didn’t Ronald win? Because rewarding a man for being “the only normal person in the room” would have been too meta even for Hollywood.
32. The Welcome to Wrexham Win: Why did Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney win? For proving that if you buy a soccer team in Wales, Americans will eventually give you an Emmy for it.
33. The Christina Applegate Ovation: Why the tears? For a legend who came out with a cane and a lot of humor to remind everyone that even MS can’t stop a queen from stealing the show.
34. The It’s Always Sunny Snub: Why did the cast mock the Emmys on stage? Because after 16 seasons of being ignored, the only way they were getting into the building was to present an award.
35. The Succession Writing Record: Why? Because Jesse Armstrong managed to make a show about rich people sitting in rooms talking about money the most exciting thing on TV for four years.
36. The 2023 Final Emmy Vibe: Why “The Year of the Sweep”? Because three shows (Succession, The Bear, Beef) basically locked the doors and told everyone else to wait until 2024.