35 School & Teacher Jokes: The 2013 “Harlem Shake, Vine Stars & GTA V Release” Edition

In 2013, the classroom layout was completely disrupted by the rise of ultra-short video looping and high-velocity internet sensations. It was the year the “Harlem Shake” turned ordinary classrooms into scenes of absolute, costumed madness the second the bass dropped, and a new six-second video app called Vine turned everyday class clowns into global celebrities overnight. Teachers were trying to fight a losing battle against smartphone notifications and students talking in internet soundbites, while everyone was rushing home to explore the massive virtual map of Grand Theft Auto V.

The 2013 Faculty Room Top 10: “Six-Second Loops, Bass Drops & Virtual Heists”

1. The Harlem Shake Lockdown: Why did the principal look so terrified during the afternoon break? Because the entire algebra class suddenly went from dead silence to wearing ski masks, dancing on desks, and waving cardboard boxes the exact millisecond the electronic bass dropped.
2. The Vine Distraction: Why did the English teacher confiscate five phones during silent reading? Because the class clowns were trying to record a six-second comedy video under their desks, repeating the exact same sentence twenty times to get the perfect loop.
3. The GTA V Absence Wave: Why did half the boys in the senior class suddenly develop a mysterious “24-hour stomach bug” on a Tuesday in mid-September? Because Rockstar Games released Grand Theft Auto V, and nobody was planning to leave their console until they finished the first heist.
4. The Miley Cyrus Shock: Why did the gym teacher look so completely defeated during the dance routine? Because instead of doing the required rhythmic gymnastics, the middle school students spent the warm-up trying to do a high-speed “twerk” dance against the foam mats.
5. The What Does the Fox Say Query: Why did the science teacher give out three detentions during a lecture on woodland animals? Because every time he mentioned a fox, the entire back row would aggressively yell, “Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!” in perfect, agonizing harmony.
6. The Candy Crush Epidemic: Why did the history quiz sound like a digital candy store? Because students had mastered hiding their touchscreens behind their textbooks, causing a steady stream of soft “Tasty!” and “Divine!” sound effects to echo through the room.
7. The Doge Meme Grammar: Why did the English department head look so deeply distressed? Because a student turned in a serious book report on The Great Gatsby written entirely in colorful Comic Sans font, using phrases like “much green light,” “such tragic,” and “very party.”
8. The Flappy Bird Frustration: Why did the math class hear a loud, violent smack from the back row? Because a student finally snapped and hit his phone against the wooden desk after crashing a tiny pixelated bird into a green pipe for the fiftieth consecutive time.
9. The Wrecking Ball Echo: Why was the school maintenance crew so angry in October? Because after the music video dropped, three different middle schoolers tried to swing from the heavy ropes in the gymnasium while screaming the chorus at the top of their lungs.
10. The Smart Board Glitch: Why was the geography lesson delayed by twenty minutes? Because the teacher spent half the period aggressively tapping a plastic stylus against a frozen screen, trying to clear a giant digital window that wouldn’t close.

The Full 2013 School & Teacher Jokes Archive

11. The Frozen Anthem Explosion: The entire elementary and middle school section singing “Let It Go” out the school bus windows at the playground monitors for three months straight.
12. The Ask.fm Drama Wave: The vice principal holding an emergency assembly to warn students about the anonymous question website that was causing massive hallway arguments before first period.
13. The Tech-Deck Park Upgrade: Constructing an elaborate finger-skateboard obstacle course using three heavy hardcover manuals and a plastic three-ring binder during quiet reading hour.
14. The Scholastic Book Fair Legacy: Buying a giant glossy poster of a modern military shooter game or a pop star and realizing your metal locker is way too small to hang it up.
15. The Mechanical Pencil Graphite Black Market: The underground classroom economy where trading a single stick of 0.5mm lead could buy you a full bag of potato chips.
16. The DVD Menu Loop Nightmare: The science teacher looking incredibly stressed because he couldn’t find the “play” button on the digital remote control, accidentally looping the documentary’s background tracks for fifteen minutes.
17. The Skater Shoe Bulk Crisis: Watching the boys waddle down the linoleum hallway because their chunky skate shoes had tongues thicker than an entire encyclopedia volume.
18. The Paper Origami Fortune Teller: Still using a folded paper game during afternoon recess to predict if you would marry a pop star or live in a mansion in the distant year 2060.
19. The Pencil Topper Troll Survival: The faded neon-haired plastic doll still sitting on top of your pen, looking ancient after surviving seventeen consecutive years of spelling bees.
20. The Google Search Answer Trap: The librarian looking completely defeated trying to explain to a student that typing “Give me all the answers for the history homework” into Google wouldn’t work.
21. The Laser Pointer Ban Upgrade: The school board updating the student handbook to state that anyone caught projecting a red dot onto the chalkboard during an exam would face instant suspension.
22. The Heavy Textbook Strain: Carrying three separate six-pound hardcover manuals because the school board still refused to invest in digital tablet alternatives.
23. The Macklemore Thrift Shop Uniform: The group of eighth graders who showed up to school wearing oversized vintage fur coats they bought at a garage sale for five dollars to look like the music video.
24. The Snapchat Story Flex: Spending all of lunch hour trying to capture the perfect, filtered photo of a school pizza slice just to add it to a new feature called a “24-hour story.”
25. The Minions Craze: Why every presentation template, binder decoration, and internet meme shared by the computer teacher featured a yellow, cylinder-shaped cartoon character with goggles.
26. The Bitstrips Influx: The absolute horror of opening Facebook after school and seeing your feed flooded with poorly drawn, automated cartoon avatars of your classmates acting out boring school scenarios.
27. The Selfie Song Anticipation: The tech-obsessed kids sitting in the back of the library talking about how the word “selfie” was officially added to the dictionary, making them feel vindicated for taking photos in the hallway.
28. The Lorde Royal Treatment: The music teacher trying to look trendy by arranging an acoustic guitar version of “Royals” for the school talent show, but banning students from wearing actual fake gold chains.
29. The Breaking Bad Finale Whispers: The high school seniors huddling around the water fountain on a Monday morning, desperately trying not to spoil the ultimate ending of the chemistry teacher television show for their classmates.
30. The Cookie Clicker Obsession: The computer lab being completely filled with a fast, continuous clicking noise because everyone discovered a browser game where you just click a giant chocolate chip cookie forever.
31. The Instagram Video Reveal: The popular kids looking panicked because the app expanded to include 15-second videos, forcing them to learn how to edit their hallway walks in real-time.
32. The Daft Punk Radio Monopoly: The school morning announcements playing “Get Lucky” every single day in the spring until the speaker system literally short-circuited.
33. The Hunger Games Catching Fire Hype: The girls in the back row spent all of silent study hour trying to master the perfect tactical side-braid to look like Katniss Everdeen before the sequel premiere.
34. The Vine Soundbite Speech: The English teacher giving out a detention because a student loudly responded to a serious question about literature by screaming “21!” or “Yeet!” in a fake voice.
35. The Final 2013 June Bell: The beautiful, loud ringing sound that closed out another classic school year, sending everyone home for a long summer of high-speed internet marathons, scrolling through short looping videos, updating social feeds, and completely forgetting how to calculate long division.